Page 58 of Touch In Excess

“If I lose, what will you do?” Skye asked him.

Rami pulled back and met his gaze. “Cancel all the bids and claim it was a glitch. I hate lying, but I think I’d hate someone else touching me more now that I have you. I know it’s not fair.”

“It is what it is. You’re only taking bid money from me. People are getting exactly what they pay for otherwise.”

“I still feel guilty,” Rami admitted.

“That’s okay too. I think guilt is easier to bear than whatever you’ll feel if you let someone else win.”

Rami shuddered hard and held him tighter. “Yes.” Then, he gave a jaw-cracking yawn, and his body went a little more boneless. “M’tired, I think.”

Skye kissed the top of his head. “Let me take my hearing aids out, and you can hit the lights. You need rest, and I need to spend a few hours holding you. I’ll make you breakfast in the morning.”

“Let me cook for you,” Rami murmured softly as he loosened his grip so Skye could take his hands back.

Skye grinned at him as he reached for his hearing aids. “Whatever you want.”

‘You,’ Rami signed after Skye pulled them out. He took them from Skye’s hand and set them on the nightstand. The lights went out after, and Skye ignored the pulse of anxiety he always felt when his world went both dark and silent.

Then, a hand slipped around his wrist, and his fingers were guided to Rami’s chest.

He pressed down until Skye’s hand went flat over his beating heart. It was to that exact rhythm that Skye found himself drifting into one of the most peaceful sleeps he’d had in many, many years.

Skye woke a little disoriented and confused. He was in bed, but it wasn’t his bed. The smells weren’t the same, the sheets were softer than he used, and the pillow was all wrong. It took his brain far too long to catch up to the events of the night before.

He was at Rami’s. He’d stayed over and held him until they both fell asleep.

He felt a pang of regret in his stomach when he realized he was in bed alone. He’d wanted to wake up to Rami’s face. He wanted to kiss him hello. Instead, he reached out and touched the indent beside him, which was now cold.

Sitting up slowly, Skye let himself adjust to the world. His vertigo in the mornings usually took him out at the knees. His tinnitus was screaming like a billion locusts in his head, and he reached for his hearing aids, popping them in. It didn’t erase thebuzzing, but it allowed the ambient noise in the room to become loud enough that it all blended together.

He wondered if it would be like that when he lost most of his hearing. Would the screaming persist when he couldn’t hear enough to equalize the never-ending ringing? That scared him more than silence.

But he didn’t want to think about that now.

Swinging his legs over the bed, he stood and took a few wobbly steps toward the bathroom. By the time he was done with his morning piss, the world was facing the right way up, and he washed his hands and face before venturing out.

He could smell coffee somewhere, which was a good sign that Rami hadn’t run from however he was feeling the night before. Skye kept his steps slow but louder as he made his way into the kitchen, and he smiled to himself when he saw Rami at the stove, his head bobbing, massive headphones over his ears.

Whatever he was listening to had his hips shaking, and Skye almost gave in to the urge to rush over and take him in his arms. But he didn’t want to scare him. He reached for the light switch instead and flicked it on and off. The sun was bright enough that it wasn’t super effective, but Rami turned his head at the flicker and smiled widely when he saw Skye.

He was dressed now in low-slung sweats and a thin T-shirt, and he had fresh specks of clay on his arms. He’d obviously been up for hours working, which settled something restless in Skye’s chest.

‘Morning,’ he signed.

‘Hi,’ Skye signed back. ‘What are you listening to?’

Rami waved him off. ‘Arab pop music,’ he spelled. ‘My dad’s favorite.’

Skye walked over and pulled Rami close, kissing him softly on the corner of his mouth. ‘Can I hear?’

Rami pulled the headphones off and winced before handing them over. ‘You probably won’t like it.’

Skye eased them over his ears. Headphones weren’t easy for him anymore. They never fit properly over his hearing aids, and as it was, he struggled to understand lyrics he didn’t already know. But he supposed it wouldn’t have mattered anyway since he didn’t speak a word of Arabic.

When the foam settled on the sides of his head, he was surprised at how much sound could pick up almost immediately. It was a lively beat with heavy drums and rapid strings. The person singing had a low, melodic voice, which, in spite of not being able to hear it well, made him smile.

He bobbed his head in time with the melody and felt a little rush in his chest when Rami’s mouth opened on a laugh.

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