Page 87 of To No End

He let down his shields and showed me what he’d created just for me. My lungs began to feel tight and suddenly seized. I could feel my hands still on the chair, but I felt the breathlessness consuming me, everything going cold and dark. Suddenly I gasped out loud for air, breaking myself from a vision that felt terrifyingly real.

Varro opened his eyes and stared at me while I panted in front of him, trying to calm my erratic breathing. Saryn walked toward me, looking thrilled to hear about what Varro had done.

“I’m on pins and needles to hear more about what just transpired between you two.”

I began to recite the illusion Varro had created, still trying to make sense of why it felt real, too real.

“I was on a ship when suddenly I fell into the water. The waves were strong and pulled me under. No matter how hard I tried to swim toward the sunlight, I only sank farther into the darkness of the sea. With each passing second, I lost more breath and I struggled to survive. When I thought I’d almost succumb to drowning, I heard a song of the sea echoing through the water from a distance. My body felt heavy, but there was no strength to fight the sinking. Suddenly, I felt someone or something pressits lips to mine, giving me air, a breath of life, and then I awoke here.”

Saryn turned his head, lifting a brow at Varro.

“No one said we couldn’t add a little extra to make the illusion feel real,” he replied nonchalantly, disregarding Saryn’s accusatory look.

My eyes widened in fury.

“How dare you make me feel like I was drowning!”

Varro raised his hands in the air as if feigning innocence. “I thought you were one for torture…”

Before I could lunge at him, Saryn had already placed his hand in front of my chest to stop me. With my mental shields down, he had easy access to read every intention before I even made a move.

“I’d say low blow, Varro, but we all know that I’m a huge proponent of ‘all is fair in love and war.’ And we are indeed preparing for war. That being said, not sure what you two have to work out, but I’m going to give you points for creativity and bravery, because as you pointed out, there were no rules to be broken.”

The anger coursing through me was deafening as the others went down the line. I made a concerted effort to listen, but was distracted with thoughts of wanting to rip Varro limb from limb.

Gia was recounting the vision Cairis had crafted for her. A world where she was the most powerful amongst us, having mastered shapeshifting and numerous other abilities. She wreaked havoc as she pleased. She had the power to bend another’s will at leisure. Males were playthings to her, she chewed them up and spit them out without hesitation. Gia smiled the whole time.

I knew Gia liked being the best at everything, but I had never realized how truly power-hungry she was. Perhaps what was most saddening about all of this was that none of them realizedwhy she wanted so badly to exercise control over everything and everyone. No amount of power would repair her broken bond. Instead, she used that power to build a fortress around her broken heart.

Nori was the last to share the vision she had been granted. I had no idea what Trace would have done in this scenario; Trace being a violent person and Nori the opposite.

“When I flew down into the valley the day I decided to leave, no one followed me. No one tried to convince me to stay. I walked along the stream to the valley’s edge, content with my decision to leave at all costs. When I went to cross what I perceived was the threshold, nothing happened. I returned home to my loved ones, only to discover that Ilithyia had blessed my mother and father with a newborn. I finally had a sibling to love. And I never saw or heard from the Order ever again.”

The room was silent, mostly shocked that Trace hadn’t bestowed some horribly violent vision upon her. Saryn looked irritated, and Trace looked indifferent.

“If you think I’m going to applaud you for knowing our escapee desires freedom, then you’d be mistaken,” Saryn chided.

Trace retorted snidely, “You’re a fool. She doesn’t crave freedom. She craves the belief that her Gods don’t allow good and innocent people to suffer, and she can’t reconcile that they do. She desires a world that has never existed and never will. So, I guess you’re both fools.”

However true his words were, I was fuming at him. At least now I took comfort in the fact that Nori knew she had friends here who cared for her; she wouldn’t let Trace or this exercise get to her.

He was being cruel just to be right. These were the sides of Trace that I had never seen before Basdie, that I didn’t know existed. That is why I knew that I was the one who was the real fool.

Ever since Saryn’s exercise, the energy amongst all of us had shifted. People were distant in the flight field, opting to train alone rather than together. After that, people sat apart in the common area, heads down in their books. Just when I had thought we were starting to come together as a team, something like this sent us spinning off center. I knew it was wrong to be grateful that others had crossed lines or hit sensitive spots, too. I welcomed anything that dimmed the spotlight on Trace and myself.

I dragged myself to dinner, knowing that we’d either be sitting in awkward silence for the entire meal or something was about to explode. My instincts told me that everyone was tired. Tired of it all. Tired of being taken, kept here against our will, told nothing but how to train. Who’d have thought a dinner roll would have been the catalyst to that explosion?

As we made our way through the supper line filling our plates, Trace placed the last dinner roll on his and began to step away when we heard Varro mutter, “Fucking black cloaks, always selfish, every one for themselves.”

I knew it was coming even before I heard it. The sound of Trace’s plate slamming on the table behind us as he stepped forward into Varro’s space.

“Yes, I was a black cloak, and if I wanted to kill you, no one would ever know it was me. Your body would never be found, and I’d make sure you’d regret your last moments. Are you willing to die for a dinner roll, Goldie?”

Surprisingly, Varro didn’t flinch at Trace’s words. He seemed mildly amused. I was horrified for him. Trace was not someone to taunt or take lightly.

Varro turned to Trace, placed a spoonful of soup into his mouth, swallowed it intently and replied, “No, I’m watching my figure.”

He then proceeded to step around Trace and take his place at the table disregarding the threat.

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