Page 85 of To No End

A sweet smile spread across Nori’s youthful face.

She nodded. “Go to sleep at a decent hour tonight, and I promise to bring you much-needed rest.”

That night I didn’t visit the hall of Vespers and I didn’t care if that would get me in trouble with Saryn. I did as Nori had instructed and crawled into bed shortly after dinner time. I pulled the blanket up to my chin and began to fiddle with my hands. I waited for the onslaught of shadows and nightmares to take me. As my heavy eyelids fell, I thought of the stories mymother had once told me and prayed that a dreamdancer would come and keep the darkness at bay.

CHAPTER

26

Nori had been an absolute Godssend. I couldn’t remember the last time I had slept so well. I awoke feeling renewed in every way. Although one good night’s rest wouldn’t eliminate the dark circles around my eyes or put back on the weight I’d lost, it was the first step.

Breathing felt easier; the unbearable weight of anxiety from nightmares or sleeplessness had finally receded, if only momentarily. I don’t know why I hadn’t asked her before now. I suppose I’d felt awful asking her to use such a rare gift on something like this, or maybe I had been just too embarrassed to admit I needed help. Either way, I was indebted to her—though she would say we were even.

That morning at breakfast, I was surprised to discover Gia sporting copper-colored hair and blue eyes. Nothing compared to Varro’s eyes, but they were different, nonetheless. She told me she was practicing her shapeshifting endurance.

She intended to spend the whole day with this new look—or as long as she could without exhausting herself, at least. This wasproof that no matter what Gia did she was always going to look stunning. But even I knew what she was doing was a mere shade of what Saryn expected of her.

I’d seen brief glimpses of it in class. She’d fully transfigured her body and face into an entirely new form. It was slightly less scary than when the Vespers did it. At least I had the relief of knowing I trusted Gia. No matter how she shifted, there was someone I knew behind that stranger’s gaze.

Gia was very convincing, but only for short periods. That was why she had practiced extending her abilities in small increments over time. She’d never be able to keep up the charade while fighting, being tortured, or “fucking,” as Saryn said. Initially, it was alarming to hear Saryn talk about our bodies and intimacy like it was some weapon at our disposal, but the more he spoke like that, the more numb we became to it.

Over time, there were fewer awkward glances amongst one another each time he’d make some crass remark about these “tactics.” That morning, Saryn had plans for us. Plans none of us could have prepared for.

“Today’s lesson is going to take creativity, the ability to read someone, emotional intelligence, and above all else, confidence.”

We all listened intently, some of us with arms crossed or hands fidgeting to hide our nerves. Unlike Theory’s predictable classes, Saryn’s classroom was something entirely different.

“Since most of you lack confidence and let your conscience dominate your decisions, we’ll start with something easy, but that’s only because I’m feeling kind today. I will not feel kind tomorrow.”

I rolled my eyes, hoping he didn’t notice.

“Manipulation comes in many forms. You must master this. Seduction, deception, and persuasion are delicate art forms, and if you do this well, you can control all who cross your path.Wield weakness to your benefit, tap into their deepest unspoken desires, and use it against them. An unaware enemy cannot see the knife at their back or in their beds.”

Saryn had such a way with words. Making the maniacal and questionable sound noble and important. The only person better at it than him was Idris, whom we hadn’t seen since our arrival.

I heard Nori let out a small gasp next to me, knowing this was extremely uncomfortable territory for her given how chaste she was. I had my own concerns, and they were brewing above me like a dark storm cloud waiting to downpour.

“For this exercise, you will be paired up with each other and let down your shields, allowing your partner to easily access your mind. You will then manipulate them by using your mind to paint a vision or an illusion. This is not the same thing as accidentally or passively letting your enemy read you. This is using someone’s mind reading against them. At the end of the exercise, I will ask you to repeat aloud what your partner showed you, and we’ll see who amongst you has a knack for this.”

Anxious dread consumed me. Who was I going to be paired up with? Saryn proceeded to call out our pairings and instructed us to place our chairs directly in front of that person so we were facing one another but not touching.

I felt myself begin to perspire when Trace was instructed to partner with me. When he plopped his chair down in front of mine, I could barely bring myself to look at him. I shook my head in annoyance, knowing the others were likely amused at our pairing. The tension of it spread quickly across the room. To my right sat a red-headed Gia across from Varro, who wasn’t looking in my direction, and next to him was Cairis seated in front of Nori.

Thoughts of my and Trace’s time together began to flood back to the forefront of my mind from the depths of my memory. Memories I had tried to keep locked away once we knew wesimply could not be. But I had not let my shields down; there was no possible way he was bearing witness to this bombardment.

I found myself tapping my foot, itching with defiance against this exercise, but I knew there was no escaping it. I had toyed with the idea of practicing some of this with a Vesper given my limited experience, but I settled for torture over pleasure. The regret was not lost on me as I sat stone-faced across from my former lover.

“Ladies will go first. I’ve always found you to be the more creative gender. Drop your shields and let’s see if you’ve got what it takes to bring them to their knees.”

Trace stared ahead, giving me a pained look. I tried to think quickly. I wanted it to be something that showed I knew Trace, but not too well. This should have been easy for us, but for that very same reason, it was all the more difficult.

Suddenly, I remembered the Nightwing feather sitting in the drawer of my dormitory, and it sparked an idea. I closed my eyes and gripped both sides of the armrests, digging my nails into the wood. I dropped my shield, letting him into my mind.

In my thoughts, I showed him a fantasy. I was standing in a barely-there sheer dress lit by nothing but moonslight. A plunging neckline exposed the curves of my breast. The backless piece of fabric draped over me, hiding only the parts of me that mattered in this illusion.

I let out a deep exhale and continued.

In my right hand, I carried one long, rigid black Nightwing feather and I lifted it to my mouth, holding it there gently against my lips like a sweet caress, awaiting a kiss that would not come. I filled the thought with heavy emotions of longing and the pain of missing someone. I began to slowly drag the feather along my neck and down the middle of my chest, tickling the edges of my breasts and causing my nipples to peak in the cool night air.

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