Page 71 of To No End

While I did not impress Saryn much, he was pleased to discover that I spoke the old tongue quite well. He noted that Varro could speak it a bit, but not nearly as convincingly as mine, stating that he lacked the proper inflection which only came with practice. I felt like he was implying I should tutor Varro, and the mere thought displeased me greatly.

I did make sure he knew that despite none of the proper materials being in Basdie, I was quite comfortable in chemistry. With that information, he requested that I read some of the books available to us and begin redirecting that skillset toward the art of poison-making and antidotes. I’d like to say I was shocked, but I wasn’t.

This was not something they taught at the academy; it was forbidden. But the skills were largely the same; it was just the knowledge of ingredients and outcomes that I lacked.

We hardly ever heard Saryn or Theory compliment any of us. Their praise was often veiled in layers of critique. He did mention that he was very impressed with my ability to improvise and lean on my team, and that he did not hold it against me that I threatened to expose his entrails with a blade. He made no mention of the slapping.

His summary of my evaluation was that while I was academically inclined and showed promise in physical combat, I was severely lacking in magic-wielding and all things flight-related. He encouraged me to master the basics quickly: mental shields, basic healing, followed by glamour. If I began to show progress, he’d find other ways to challenge me.

I felt relieved that he hadn’t deemed me entirely worthless just because I wasn’t an experienced wielder and had no obvious unique gifts to exploit.

“Cress, the fact that you’re well-read means you possess the gift of knowledge. You may not feel that this is valuable during your training at Basdie, but we’re not training you to stay here. What lies ahead will require you to navigate many complex decisions. Stay sharp and you will be valuable to your team. But that doesn’t mean you won’t get yourself or them killed in the process. Focus or perish.”

That was Saryn’s way; build you up only to break you down. His words would stay with me in the days that followed my evaluation. Frustrated with my performance, I glanced back at the objects on the table and focused my magic, causing the water to displace unevenly so that the bowl tipped over, extinguishing the tiny candle. I looked up at Saryn, worried he would be angry with me, and instead I was met with a knowing smirk.

Following the week of evaluations, our instructors directed us to have an early dinner and to meet them in the common room after our meal. We all gathered and lounged about, awaiting Saryn and Theory’s arrival.

“Most of you have done well enough this week,” Theory said, giving Nori the side-eye.

“In the coming weeks, your physical training with me will escalate and your practice of magical abilities with Saryn will become more focused.” Theory’s expression went rigid. “You will need opportunities to practice these skills in private, after hours, and during your free time.

“There are some skills that are best practiced in private until you become bold enough to demonstrate them in the presence of others, or because they won’t be useful until you’re behind enemy lines. The intensity and shame of such practices must be overcome.”

Saryn instructed us to follow him as he began to lead us downward toward a section of Basdie we had not yet been shown. As we followed, my cheeks heated at the thought of Trace and me in the depths of the waterfall.

He pointed to a series of doors all in a row along the hallway. He opened the door to one of them and ushered us all into the very small space, causing us to squeeze tightly together. The room was cold and empty. There was a small cot and not much else.

My eyes scanned all about, trying to take notice of any other details, but there were none. Suddenly, from the dark corner of the room beside Saryn, a glowing orb appeared, floating in place. Its light illuminated the room in a warm amber hue. I had never seen anything like it.

Turning to the group Saryn asked, “Does anyone know what this is?” The room remained silent; our gazes fixated on the glow like moths to a flame.

“Thought not,” he said with disappointment. “This is a Vesper. They are an extremely rare creature with even rarer magic.” He continued, “Vespers have sometimes been referred to as ‘Small Gods’ or ‘the Infinite Ones,’ and that is because of their unique abilities.”

I could not look away from the floating orb. It was as if it had attached itself to me, drawing me in and locking me in place. My limbs felt heavier the longer I stared at it. There was no sound, yet it called to me in a silent song. That faint humming sensation returned, and I struggled to distinguish between it and the feelings caused by the glowing entity.

“Each of these rooms contains a Vesper, and these will be at your disposal whenever you need to use them, as frequently as you need to use them. It is best not to think of a Vesper as a creature or thing, but rather as pure energy. To the best of our knowledge, Vespers do not have feelings or consciousness. Their identity only exists in your mind, and they feed off of your imagination to acquire shape, form, and function.”

The silence was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Everyone appeared to be just as transfixed by what was presented before us.

“When you are ready, you simply need to welcome the Vesper into your mind, set your intention clearly, use your imagination, and allow it to serve you.” Saryn paused, making a bit more space between him and the glowing orb. “Let me demonstrate.”

We all looked on as Saryn closed his eyes briefly, and when he opened them, the glowing orb began to shake and shift before our eyes. Expanding and changing, it morphed into a beautiful Fae female. I and a few others let out a small gasp in surprise. Theory did not move, indicating there was no threat. Seeing anew face in Basdie was jarring in and of itself. She looked real in every possible way. Shewasreal.

Saryn began to move closer to her, and before we knew it, we were watching him full-on lean in and kiss her. It was unbelievably awkward standing practically shoulder to shoulder with everyone watching this unfold.

Their kiss deepened passionately. Had it not been for the dim light of the room, my blushing would have been obvious. He snaked one arm around her waist to pull her flush against him, and she bent to his will, letting out a small whimper of pleasure.

One second, we were witnessing an almost erotic private encounter and the next, Saryn had removed a small blade from his back pocket with his free hand and plunged it into the stunning female’s side.

Pulling his lips from hers, he held her as her body went limp and blood began to seep from the wound, spreading across the pale blue dress she wore. Shock and horror spread across her face as the expression of trust shifted to vulnerability and fear.

Nori screeched, trying to push forward to help the girl but Theory flung out her arm. We all watched as the light left her innocent eyes and her limp body lay on the floor at Saryn’s feet.

He wasn’t showing the slightest hint of remorse, and I was still grappling to understand what in the three moons of Demir I had just witnessed. Had he killed the Vesper? Was that girl real? What in Gods’ names was he expecting us to do with what he’d just shown us? Suddenly, the body on the floor disappeared, transforming back into a floating, glowing orb.

“In this room, you will discover your demons and darkness. Face them head-on and learn to control rather than be controlled by restraint and reluctance. Here is where real fear is overcome. Here you can practice anything you can imagine. In these rooms with the Vespers, you will harden yourself and find the necessary callousness that it takes to survive. The disciplinesof violence and seduction seem estranged, but their mastery is born of similar principles. Learn to manipulate all things in your favor. One cannot defeat what one refuses to face. Nothing that we teach you or train you to do outside of these walls will ever be viable if you don’t put in the real work here.”

Saryn paused, allowing us to take in everything we’d just seen, everything he’d just impressed upon us. Could the Vespers truly take on any form we imagined? Did they truly not feel pain? Could they hurt us back?

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