Page 60 of To No End

That annoying humming feeling was back again. Low and steady, but I shoved it aside when Varro stood up in front of me angling his body into my personal space. He lifted his hand and gently moved a strand of my hair to the side, revealing my bare neck. He let out ahumphand stepped away before I could reprimand him for touching me. He strode past Cairis and Gia, making his way to the dormitories, completely disengaging from any further conversation.

Utterly irritated by him, and now filled with even more questions for Trace, I’d had my fill of socializing.

“I’ll see you both at dinner,” I offered while passing them on the way back to my room. I needed to get my thoughts together in peace.

CHAPTER

18

Unpacking what little I was allowed to bring did nothing to distract me or pass the time. I laid in my bed, staring at the ceiling and empty walls. I imagined this was what the cell of a prison felt like. But it wasn’t a prison, and the food we’d had earlier was a sign of some semblance of hospitality. Despite the fact that we weren’t allowed to leave, they hadn’t treated us poorly. Yet.

When I heard the rustling of footsteps in the hallway, I took that to mean dinnertime had finally come. I was anxious for a number of reasons. Seeing the others—seeing Trace—but also intrigued to meet the new instructor. Would they be like Saryn? He was unbearably prickly in his demeanor. The others may find his dark humor amusing, but to me, it was disarming.

We made our way to the dining hall where food was displayed buffet style on a table toward the back of the room. We formed a line, making our way through and filling up our plates. A late breakfast plus no lunch had clearly built up an appetite in most of us. I watched as each person piled heaps of food onto theirplates and took a remarkably similar seating arrangement to this morning. Saryn sat idly at the head of the table, and beside him was another empty place setting, presumably for whomever would be arriving shortly.

Before I could enjoy a bite of my meal, the door to the hall burst open and a cloaked female carrying two large bags made an entrance. Like Saryn, she was wearing all black and had the same long silver talisman around her neck. The amber glow of the fireplace flickered across her deep umber skin, and when she removed her hood, dark thick locks hung across her shoulders.

Her bright silver eyes glanced toward Saryn and he practically barreled toward her from across the room, embracing her tightly and ushering her to sit next to him. It was interesting to see the warmth Saryn showed her, almost like welcoming a sibling after a long time apart.

“Everyone, I’d like to introduce you to my friend, your instructor, the merciless and magnificent, Theory.”

Theory nudged his shoulder with her fist, clearly annoyed with his grandiose introduction. “Thank you, Saryn, for the warm welcome, but that charm of yours does not work on me.”

She smiled, looking out across the table at each of us eyeing her with curiosity. She seated herself and sipped from a cup Saryn had poured for her. While the others returned to their meals, I kept alert, trying to listen in on their conversation.

“There’s so few of them,” she said sadly, turning to Saryn with concerned eyes.

“It’s true, but it will have to do,” he replied while shoving another bite in his mouth. She continued to take brief glances, sizing up the lot of us.

“The place is just as I remembered it. It’s been too long.” She set her hand atop Saryn’s briefly, giving him a knowing look.

“Not long enough,” he snarked.

I peered over at Trace, noticing he was doing the same thing as me. Trying to appear inconspicuous while eavesdropping in between bites. He may have his suspicions about this place, but I was going to make my own conclusions. Theory cleared her throat in an attempt to gather the attention of the room and silence befell us once more, all eyes transfixed on her.

“I imagine the past two days have felt much like a whirlwind, and I’m sure you are tired and will sleep soundly tonight. I am certain that Idris has given you some romantic notion of your role here, and that Saryn has countered that with something grimmer, but I am practical, so consider me the voice of reason.”

Nori began to fidget, nervously biting at her nails and waiting with bated breath as Theory continued.

“You are here to learn and train. Plain and simple. What you are good at, we will make you great. What you cannot do, we will make you do well enough. Your strengths will be someone else’s weaknesses and vice versa. But you are a team, a family, so you will be accountable to each other. You are going to be pushed farther and harder than you ever thought possible. We are going to try and break you, that way when you face the enemy, you have no fear of the consequences.”

Theory took a deep breath.

“So, what are you training us to be? Spies or assassins?” Gia chimed in with an impatient expression.

Theory took no offense, answering her quickly. “Both. You must be all things. The Order is proof that the deadliest things are not your weapons but whenyoubecome the weapon.”

I gulped down my drink; the intensity of this dinner discussion had rattled me. Being a spy was one thing, an assassin, another thing entirely…but all things? What could possibly be worse? Up until this point, I had been confident that I could handle whatever might be asked of me. I knew it wouldinvolve secrecy, and likely some deviant acts of violence, but now the worst possibility had been confirmed.

They were going to turn us into hollow shells of our former selves no matter the cost. Theory’s eyes radiated a still, vibrant beauty; yet, the longer I looked, they stirred and swirled, conjuring images of dangerous, murky depths lying beneath. Everything else was just a facade meant to draw us in, make us trust her, but now I could read her. I could finally see her and there was no mistaking that she was not someone to cross.

Suddenly, my appetite disappeared. I had finally hit a wall, the pressure of the day eating away at me. I felt my chest tightening with anxiety and wanted nothing more than to escape to the deafening silence of my room.

I would have crawled into Trace’s arms, granted myself a moment of vulnerability and let myself cry—if that were an option. I wasn’t cut out for this, and yet, it was this or nothing at all. They were monsters, and they were intent on turning us into monsters as well. I blinked my eyes, fighting the stinging feeling, fighting back angry, scared tears.

Just when I thought I couldn’t take anymore and was going to flee from the room, I caught Varro’s gaze and it held my attention. Relief slowly washed over my body, my heart rate slowed, and I felt as if I had been pulled into a dreamlike state. My tightened muscles unclenched and my shoulders relaxed into the chair. Before turning away from me, he gave me a small nod paired with the hint of a smile at the corners of his mouth.

At my side, it was clear Nori was having similar sentiments. I could see the terror written all over her face. I wish I could bring her some sense of calm, but I wasn’t entirely sure where my own sense of control had just come from. Theory was practical, alright; she didn’t mince words and had made it abundantly clear we were going to be trained in a manner unlike anything I’dever experienced. I didn’t know about the rest of them, but Nori and I were far from prepared.

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