Page 40 of To No End

“I think I’d like the three moons of Demir.”

She showed no reaction to my request.

“Where?”

“Uh...behind my ear, if that’s alright?”

I figured it would be easy to conceal with my hair in most styles, and that way I wouldn’t have to deal with any sort of scolding from my parents or outside judgment in the future. I thought back to Trace’s massive tattoo covering his arm, and it made me wonder if he was ever treated differently for it. He wasn’t a member of the king’s court like we were, so it was unlikely. A different life, with different expectations.

Taran nudged me to lie down on the table with the side of my head angled toward her and the sunlight beaming through the window. I lay there facing my sister, preparing for what, I didn’t know. I wasn’t sure how painful this was going to be, but she held my hand for courage regardless.

I could feel Taran move my hair aside and gently run her fingers behind my ear. A shiver ran down my spine with a flashback of Trace and his breath.

“Why’d you choose the three moons of Demir?” Versa asked.

“You’ll probably think this is silly, but one moon for each member of my family: Father, Mother, and you. And because when I’m away at sea, they will be my constant. Depending on where they are in the sky, I’ll always know which direction leads home.”

Before I could finish my words, Versa added, “Like true north, guiding you back to us.”

I could feel the stinging in my eyes as I fought back the tears; she had no idea how much I wanted that to be true.

Taran asked, “You ready?” I nodded and Versa squeezed my hand tighter.

From the mirror on the wall, I could see Taran begin to work. She closed her eyes and raised both her hands, palms facing inward. She began to move her hands slowly in what looked like an intricate and delicate dance, and as they swayed in unique patterns in front of her, I felt it. A burning, heavy sensation behind my ear.

Though I couldn’t see it, I could feel every single piece of the design come into reality. My palm was sweaty in Versa’s hand and I squeezed hard, attempting to ignore the pain while also relishing the unique sensation. A cross between tiny blades slicing and a hot burning, like a brand. I couldn’t have been more thrilled to have picked such a tiny design, because despite the beautiful movement of Taran’s hands in the mirror, I knew without a doubt I could not handle this feeling much longer.

I tried to imagine someone doing this to her; covering her entire body, and the pain she would have endured to achieve that. If I had gone through that I would probably be showing off every inch of my art to the entire world, so they knew just how strong I was.

When Taran dropped her hands and opened her eyes, I could feel the burning subside. She grabbed a small can of salve and dabbed a bit across the new tattoo behind my ear. The sting that lingered was minor, and the cooling salve was already doing its work. Versa grabbed a small mirror and held it up above so I could see. There it was, just like I had imagined, three tiny crescent moons hugging each other nestled behind my ear. It was perfect.

“Your turn,” Taran directed Versa, who laid down where I had just been. “What’ll it be for you?”

“I hadn’t come up with anything half as good as what you did, Cress, but I love it. Would you mind if I get the same?”

Honestly, I hadn’t thought there was a chance she’d even go through with this, and I certainly didn’t mind the idea of hers matching mine.

“Of course not,” I replied gladly.

Suddenly, Versa sat up and rotated, “But I want mine on the opposite ear. She is my other half, after all.”

I was grateful Versa was now facing away from me because there was a swelling tightness building in my chest, and I was doing everything possible not to cry at her words.

I held Versa’s hand as she did mine, and as Taran began her beautiful movements once more, I heard Versa’s cracked whisper, “I hope it does lead you back to me.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat and squeezed her hand tighter, unable to utter a single word.

CHAPTER

12

Matching tattoos with Versa accomplished checking another item off my list, making the time I spent at home with family still feel like progress. I did my very best to make those days feel as normal as possible. For them and for myself. I had realized that if someday Versa learned of my implied death, these were the days she’d think back on. I wanted them to be happy ones for her. Not ones where I hid away because I couldn’t get my grief or anger in check.

Even though my mother and father knew where I was truly headed, they had no idea the outcome and never would. For them, too, these would be our last days together, and I wanted to show my gratitude for the amazing life they had given me.

I ate all my meals with at least one of them. Most dinners involved all of us together, just like when I was young. Midway through the week a letter was delivered to me, and I carried it back to my room to open in private. When I saw the crest on the wax seal, I knew exactly who it was from. Gris did not waste an inch of parchment with hollow greetings or misguided flattery.

Cress-

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