Page 33 of To No End

My hands fidgeted with the new energy pulsing between us. I grabbed another piece of cheese to distract myself andcontinued, “Do you have any hobbies? You know, when you’re not doing whatever the Kingsguard requires of you?”

I shoved the food in my mouth to give him space to answer me—and because the rapid-fire questions weren’t giving me any time to plan. I only had a few questions left and hadn’t put any good thought into what else I wanted to know. Besides what he tasted like. What his rough hands felt like running across my bare skin. I was getting carried away with my imagination.

“The military is a lot of hurry up and wait. When we’re sitting around for days at camp, you have to find ways to fill your time or you’ll lose your mind. That, or form other bad habits… I’ve been prone to sketching every now and then.”

He paused, looking at me for any sign of judgment.

“I draw mostly landscapes. To remember the places I’ve been and the lands I’ve seen.”

I couldn’t for the life of me imagine Trace doing anything artistic. It was pretty bewildering, but I needed to see these sketches with my own eyes.

“Are you any good? Shit, wait. Don’t answer that. I’m not using a question for that.”

Trace let out a small laugh, an amused smile framing his lips.

“I’ll give you one free of charge. Just because I like you.”

My eyes widened, but I dared not speak.

“Sketching isn’t exactly considered a very masculine activity, Cress. I don’t go around showing off my art or making it apparent that I do it at all. You think having brothers give you crap is tough, try a military-minded father who might teach you a lesson for catching you in such a frivolous act.”

Trace’s expression changed and a wave of melancholy swept across his face. “I don’t know if I’m good, to answer your question.”

I imagined Trace wanting to do something that brought him happiness, but being forced to hide it. While my dream of beingat sea had not yet been realized, I knew that my mother and father would embrace that path, even celebrate it.

In Trace, I sensed the uncertainty and disapproval of the people he held most dear, and it saddened me. He still hadn’t made any other mention of his mother, not since telling me about Alcar’s name.

Momentarily, I realized how loud the bar had gotten. All this time I had been tuning it out, dialing into Trace’s every word like we were the only two people in the room.

Time had passed unnoticeably and with each question, the mystery of Trace was unfolding with more twists and turns. He was becoming more than a target of my desires, and I didn’t know what to do with that or the feelings that were bubbling up along with it. I wouldn’t allow myself to feel for this person or anyone.

I was struck by the sobering thought of time dwindling and, how soon, my decisions would no longer be my own, including the company I sought. Not Trace. Not Gris. No one. But the longer we sat here conversing, the more I was seeing the person that was Trace, rather than the meaningless, wicked stranger I was tempting.

I was lost in thought when Trace interrupted, “Why aren’t you scared of blades?”

The question was an odd choice with so few questions left, but it was clear that Trace was very observant.

“Don’t pretend to be surprised, Cress. You didn’t flinch, not once, when I pulled out that blade and held it to the gambler’s neck. You also didn’t show any signs of concern when I removed all my daggers last night.”

He was right, the blades didn’t concern me at all. I had spent years training in sparring at school. Blade, bow, sword—you name it, I’ve wielded it. Never in a situation of need, but I was no stranger to them. So, I lied.

“It’s dangerous out there. Especially for females. I’m not going to be caught helpless. My friend back home taught me. I made him practice with me and demonstrate everything he knew. I’m comfortable, but not an expert or anything.” I added, “Plus, it doesn’t hurt to know how to hunt, just in case.”

I hadn’t a clue if I sounded believable, and from the unconvinced look on Trace’s face it didn’t seem like he was buying it, but he elected not to pry.

I went to change the subject immediately and blurted out an entirely selfish question, “If you’ve been with the Kingsguard all this time, do you have someone waiting for you somewhere, or back home?”

He displayed a small disbelieving smile and shook his head. “No, there isn’t anyone waiting for me. If there were, I wouldn’t be entertaining this evening with you.”

Well, that was a relief.

“I don’t let myself get attached to anyone, anywhere, or anything. When you’re always on the move and your life belongs to the whims of the king and commander, you learn to settle for dalliances and stealing brief moments of joy.”

I should have bitten my tongue, but I couldn’t help myself. “Is that what I am to you…a dalliance?”

I can’t believe I asked that aloud. I also did not intend for that to be my next question. I wanted to take it back as soon as the words left my mouth.

“I don’t know what you are yet.”

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