Page 11 of To No End

He was much bigger than the two fingers he had teased me with earlier, but I pressed on. I let my body gently lower, and hedidn’t move a muscle. He continued to look at me like I was a powerful queen conquering him from above, and his admiration overcame me.

I accepted him into me further and could feel the tight sting my sister had warned me about. The pain was there, but I was too overcome with desire to please him, to please myself, and to fill this aching emptiness deep inside me.

As I slid slowly down on him, trying to ignore the minute pain, I realized in retrospect how grateful I was that he had helped me “relax” before all of this. I had been greedy in trying to rush when Gris was just trying to make this experience as good as it could be.

When I finally enveloped him entirely, he smiled and pulled my shoulders forward to kiss me. That was when I felt the first bit of pleasure from this position.

Gris gently began to make small fluid thrusts upward, watching for any signs of pain, but I did not withdraw. He framed my hips over him, and for the first time he remarked on my appearance, “You look stunning from this view.”

The view he was referring to was looking up at me while my soft breasts hung over his chest, occasionally grazing him, and normally I might have felt a bashful reaction, but there was nothing left to be shy about.

“Try moving until it feels good to you,” he offered.

With this permission I began to rock back and forth, occasionally attempting to grind in circles until I found a sensation I wanted to keep. The whole time he patiently waited while I explored how my body felt and navigated any traces of pain.

He did his best to keep control and make this about me. He reached up and squeezed my breast and continued exploring with both hands gripping my rear to rock me back and forth. I became even wetter and more fulfilled.

After a short while, when he was confident that I was okay, he asked me if he could try something else. I nodded in agreement, and he lifted me off of him, gently laying me flat on my back.

He moved to the edge of the bed and positioned himself. I sighed in anticipation as he spread my thighs and stared down at me. A hunger glowed in his eyes and I took that as a sign that I had no reason to be embarrassed.

He moved toward me and placed himself at my entrance. I wanted to slide myself down upon him, but Gris gave me that look ofRelax, let me lead. I tucked away my tendency to rush and let him gently enter me.

He went slowly, letting me feel each inch as he filled me. This angle felt entirely different than the one before, and I was pleased with his exploration.

Once fully inside, he began to thrust slowly, and I could feel him hitting the depths of me as I tightened around him with each stroke. He let out a groan, and I loved the thought that I was pleasing him. That somehow, in all my inexperience, this moment was not entirely a waste of time for him.

As he began to move, I urged him on. “Faster,” I panted, trying to know my own body and what it was telling me. Gris began to move more vigorously, and I continued to tighten all around him.

My breaths became ragged and I arched into him, trying to feel even more. He began to move with more speed, still focusing patiently on me and my needs. As he moved in and out, he pressed his thumb down against the sensitive area above my entrance, making tiny soft circles into me that made all the nerves in my body stand on edge.

I began to moan loudly, uncontrollably, and just as I was starting to feel the rhythm of my own true pleasure, I think the sounds of me enjoying myself had thrown Gris overboard as I felt him strain into his climax.

Within seconds, he crashed into my chest and I felt his release. Our overheated bodies crumpled against one another and we lay there for a time, panting until our breaths returned to a normal rhythm. I didn’t know what to do at this point. I just began running my hand through Gris’s messy hair and idly dragging my fingertips along his wide back with the other.

Gris didn’t look up but spoke the words sweetly against my stomach, “Are you okay?”

I cleared my thoughts and tried to focus on evaluating how I felt. I felt sore for sure, but nothing horrible. Logically, I was appreciative of the gentleness, awareness, and enthusiasm with which he handled this entire request.

But emotionally, I was an absolute wreck. I knew how fleeting all of this was. And even though I was happy to check it off the list, that it was finally something I could acknowledge and move past, I couldn’t ignore this closeness I had felt with Gris.

I tried to imagine what it would be like with someone I actually cared for in that way, someone I loved or, even scarier, a true bonded mate.

It was a whole new world I had just opened the door to, and yet my time to explore it seemed limited and pointless. I concealed my internal struggle so as to not give Gris the slightest hint of concern. I would in no way have him thinking that I experienced displeasure in the slightest.

I replied, “It was perfect, Gris. You’re perfect.” And I meant it for so many reasons.

It made no difference that he found his pleasure before I could meet mine. That wasn’t what this was about, and he had made sure to think of all the things that I did not. The only thing that would make it more perfect was if I didn’t have to live with the sinking feeling that I had just lied to one of my best friends.

I felt like I used him for a reason he didn’t truly understand, and that this might as well be a final goodbye because I didn’tknow if I could bring myself to see him again after this. Not if it meant farewell for good.

Gris rolled off of me onto his stomach, and for some reason, we both seemed entirely comfortable just lying around in the nude together. I guess Versa wasn’t lying when she said things like this would only bring you closer. I certainly didn’t expect to ever become this close to Gris—but he was perfect.

He grinned at me and remarked, “I should have made more bargains with you, Cress.”

I gave him a snarky look and shot out my foot to push him off the side of the bed, but he caught it and pulled himself closer to me. The silence between us started to make me nervous, and I focused on keeping up my mental shields now that we both weren’t distracted with each other’s writhing bodies.

“You’re still a great kisser,” he remarked, and I remembered back to that time we had both agreed to “practice” with one another just so that we wouldn’t make fools of ourselves when those that “mattered” came along.

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