Page 15 of Fall For You

“Yes, but?—”

“You do remember that part don’t you? How you texted me, when you first found out? How we covered all this same ground then?”

I wince a little at the reminder. Because, yep, that was me. That’s how I chose to handle—or mishandle, the whole situation. Via text. From thousands of miles away. What the fuck was I thinking? “I’m so sorry,” I all but whisper, blinking back tears of self-pity and regret.

Carter shakes his head, brushing aside my new attempts at an apology, in much the same way he did the last time around. “It doesn’t matter, does it? I’m sure we both wish things had gone down differently, but they didn’t, so...”

“So, what about now?” We’re standing in the narrow hallway in front of his door. I gesture at the space between us—just a handful of inches, no distance at all. “What about this?”

“What about it?” he asks. “You said it yourself, the other day. You’re just in town for a visit. No socializing—remember? That sounds like a good plan to me.”

I should let it go. I should take the hint and leave. But that’s the mistake I made last time. The biggest mistake of my life. “What if I’ve changed my mind?”

“Have you? Is that what you’re saying.”

“I think so?”

“You…think?”

“Yes.” I take a single step closer. “I’m saying yes.”

And then… I’m not even sure what happens next. I think we both move at once. He dips his head to take my mouth in a scalding kiss. But I’m already clutching his arms to drag him closer; tilting my head to the side, pressing against him, as most of our restraint and all our good intentions go down in flames.

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Yes. Please.

CHAPTER

FIVE

Carter

“Jo,”I groan, finally breaking the kiss. “What the hell are we doing?” I gather her close, tucking her head under my chin, so I won’t be tempted to find her mouth again.

“Isn’t it obvious?” she asks, her voice slightly muffled against my chest.

I shake my head. “No. Not really.”

“I dunno, Carter,” she says with a sigh. “Maybe…scratching an itch? Does it need to be any more complicated than that?” Her words do more to dowse the flames than just about anything else could’ve done. Because of course that’s all this is to her. That’s all it ever was.

I guess I should be glad for the reminder—and I am. Sort of. But it hurts all the same. Because it’s never been that for me; not with her. “Yeah, except I’m not that itchy,” I tell her.

She inhales sharply as she pulls away—far enough to meet my gaze, far enough for me to see the stricken expression on her face.

“Joking,” I tell her; even though I’m really not. “I’m just…

“Don’t,” she begs quietly. “I can’t joke about this. It’s not funny.”

No. It certainly isn’t. “I don’t know what you want me to say,” I admit.

Jo shrugs. “Me either. But… Just don’t say there’s nothing between us anymore. Or that it’s too late. Or that you don’t want this as much as I do…” Her voice trails off, like she’s realized that she’s said too much. We stare at each other. I’m lost for words. I know that I should be telling her all those things—not because they’re true, but because admitting how I really feel is too painful, too futile, too pathetic.

I don’t know what she sees in my expression, but whatever it is, it causes her to glance away, blinking back tears as she says, “Unless that’s what you mean, of course. Then you should definitely say it. Because the one thing we never did was lie to each other. So, let’s not start now.”

“I don’t know how you can even say that,” I counter. “I’m pretty sure we were lying the whole time we were together—maybe not to each other, but definitely to ourselves.”

“What?” She stares at me in dismay. “No. You don’t mean that, do you?”

“Of course I mean it. It’s true, isn’t it? I’m not saying we were doing it on purpose; I don’t think we even realized we were lying. I think we just got so caught up in the story we were pitching to everyone else that we started to believe in it ourselves.”

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