Page 7 of Be My Salvation

Chapter nine

The Sinner

Dinah

The smell is the first thing that hits me, as I’m forced into the room with its muted light and sinister vibes. The cloying stench of urine, blood, death, desperation, and pain is almost overwhelming, as it assails my nose and causes me to gag. Bile races up the back of my throat as my head spins, and I stumble forward, the only thing preventing me from falling being the harsh grip of the asshole on my bicep. My eyes slide across all the dark stains of blood on the floor and walls, and terror races through me like a herd of elephants, causing my breath to stall. A low whimper flees me before I can swallow it, and my head jerks to the side as I search for Abe and Zeke, fully aware that David, the cunt, is watching all of my reactions. A strangled cry escapes my lips unsolicited, when I get my first glimpse of Abe.Jesus fuck, what have they done to him?

His large, naked, limp body is confined against a wall by thick metal chains, that wrap securely around both his muscular arms, and force them against the rough gray stone. His head hangs low between his shoulders, his chin firmly on his large upper chest. His dark, matted hair prevents me from getting a proper glance at his features. There’s so much blood, both fresh and dried, on him, that all his tattooed artwork is disguised in crimson. I yank my arm forcefully away from the asshole attempting to restrain me, and in response, his fingers clench tighter, causing a sharp pain to shoot up my arm and into my shoulder. “Release me now, fucker!” Panic is assailing me, and I can’t think clearly;nothing else matters except getting to Abe. I elbow him hard, and compel him to release his hold. “Bitch... I’m going to enjoy ripping you apart,” he groans as he clutches his side, but his tense fingers loosen enough for me to tear away from him.Please be alive, baby, please!

I don’t hesitate, racing away from him and David, and rushing across to Abe, all while my heart gallops in my chest. I can’t breathe, my chest tightening painfully as my world crashes further around me, and I get an up close and personal view of all the destruction and misery I have caused. “Abe! Abe, open your eyes, baby! Abe, it’s me,” I shout as my hands tremble in front of him, not knowing where or how to touch him, to avoid causing him more pain. His eyes remain shut, and his body has no reaction to my plea. He’s a bloody mess. What the hell have they done to him? If it wasn’t for the fact that I can see his chest rising and falling subtly, I would believe him surely to be dead. Rage courses through me, as I witness what abuse my father and his cronies have reigned down on one of my loves, all in the name of their lunacy. I lean forward until my face is mere inches from Abe’s, pressing my lips against his head, and whisper, “I swear I will kill them all, for what they have done to you. Hold on, Abe. Stay with me.”

I pull back, even though the desire to wrap my arms around Abe and never let him go, is paramount. I search the room for Zeke, and at first, I don’t see him. Terror seizes me with the belief that he may be already dead, and they have misled me further.Fuck, we should have never come here. I have led us all to our deaths.“ZEKE!” I scream over and over again. Each version of his name sounding more and more unhinged. No, he can’t be dead; this can’t end this way. Our story has an ending, and this is not it. I can’t lose all of them.What the fuck have I done?

“Calm yourself, Dinah. You are making a spectacle of yourself, and it is unbecoming,” David’s irritating voice breaks through my mania, and I dash for him and slam my shoulder into his gut, before anyone can stop me. His body lurches forward at the unexpected hit, at the same time as he fists my hair and slams his other fist into my shoulder. “Spectacle? I’ll... bludgeon... you, cunt, then we’ll see who is a spectacle,” I breathe through the pain, and gain some perverse satisfaction when his breath wheezes out of him. “You think... you can fight all... of us?” David questions, winded. He releases his hold and shoves me away, and I slam into the wall next to him, sliding down to the floor. “Control yourself, woman, or you will lose everything you love.” He takes a few steps away from me, and the other two guards do the same, giving me a wide berth. David’s saccharine smile sets my teeth on edge, as he stares at me as if I didn’t just hurt him, and won’t do it again in a heartbeat. My nostrils flare, and my fists tighten, as I take in his flushed appearance. His forehead is sporting a deep gash, that I’m positive wasn’t from one of my hits, but hopefully was from one of my men. “You should try being more demure, prudent, and respectful, Dinah. Like a good Sacred wife and daughter. You might catch more flies with honey than vinegar.”

What a disgusting analogy, like I want to catch any of them, all I want to do is eradicate them from the face of the earth. Every single one of them is a maggot, squirming in this rotting society, thanks to the Brotherhood of the Sacrament, and their decrepit ideology. “Oh, I’ll be demure, alright. Hand me a blade, and you’ll see how prudent I’ll be, as I gut you from one end to the other,asshole.Don’t talk to me aboutrespect,when you have never had any for anyone but yourself, and even then, I would think it to be lacking, or you wouldn’t be waiting for the scraps my father feeds you, like a bitch in heat at the side of his table.”

I give him my back as I frantically search the rest of the room for Zeke, and finally find him slumped over in a darkened corner on the ground. “Zeke! Oh my God!” I gulp down all the emotions overriding my senses at his appearance. If Abe looked horrifying, Zeke looks even worse. He’s more raw meat than he is flesh; someone has done a number on him. It seems like they flayed various parts of his skin, and open wounds with ripped flesh, and oozing blood, meet my gaze as I fall to my knees before him.No, no, no, this can’t be. I... I did this. I brought us here. I wouldn’t listen when he told me not to come.

My hand gently touches the side of his face, the only part of him that reveals a patch of unbloodied skin. His breathing is labored, and his skin is warm and clammy to the touch. Dark, thick lashes open at my touch, and I witness the horror of what he’s endured in the deep green of his eyes. “Snow...” His pained voice breaks what’s left of my heart, as I allow tears to slide down my face. “I’m so sorry... so very sorry,” I sob, “I led us into a trap. You and Abe were right.”

He tries to speak but chokes, bloody spittle coating his lips. “Save... Abe, please.” A tear slides from the corner of his face, and disappears into the patchwork of blood and mess on his skin, as his eyes shut once again. A chill settles on me; he’s not asking me to save both of them, just Abe. Is that because he knows he’s close to death? I can’t allow that to happen. I can’t have him giving up. We will all get out of here, or die altogether, there is no other alternative. Sammy’s face appears in my mind, and I know my love will be lost without us, and distress fills my heart, knowing that I’m betraying him by dying here with Abe and Zeke. My only hope is that he will forgive me in the next life, when we meet again.

“You see, Dinah, you have far more to lose than I do.” David shuffles forward and squats near me, his thick, lavish robes soiling in the stains of Zeke’s blood. His dark brown gaze lockson Zeke, and for a moment, I see a flicker of pity, before it’s wiped from his features, and they become hard and stern once more. “You can still save them. They can still live.” His eyes meet mine. “All you have to do is cooperate, and I will ensure they get the medical attention they need. You love them both, don’t you? Don’t you want to see them survive?” His words are a temptation, hissed from a serpent that I know will eventually strike me. He doesn’t make any attempt at platitudes or false promises to sway me, just seeing what he has already done to Abe and Zeke, and their current state, is enough. He is the serpent in the garden of Eden, tempting Eve, and I am the fool who allowed us to enter this viper’s nest.

“Save them, and I will do what he wants,” I choke on the acidic words of defeat, knowing it’s the only way to save them. I promised myself that I would die rather than crawl for the Brotherhood, but it seems I was wrong. I underestimated the depths of sorrow to which I would be brought. Losing them is too steep a price to pay for my dignity, and is one I cannot bear the cost of. “Very well, Dinah. You have finally made the right decision.” A smug look of satisfaction crosses David’s face, before he rises and nods to the two assholes, and one immediately leaves the room. They always knew that I would give in; that’s why they brought me in here to see the malice that they caused. It was their plan all along, to wrap those chains around my neck, and ensure that I am beholden to them, for Zeke and Abe’s lives. First, they wrap them, then they tighten them. Next, they’ll make sure I run out of air. That is my fate waiting to happen. There was never any escaping it, and I was delusional, thinking I could have a different outcome.

My hand slips into Zeke’s, as I gently wrap my fingers around his and squeeze. “I promise you are getting out of here, even if I have to die for that to happen. Please don’t leave me, Zeke. Don’t leave Abe.” He doesn’t squeeze back, or reopen his eyes,and turmoil fills me with the thought that it might already be too late.

Chapter ten

The Sinner

Dinah

It’s been ten brutal days since the day I unwillingly agreed to do my father, and David’s, bidding in exchange for them obtaining medical attention for Abe and Zeke. Ten days of watching them suffer, as their wounds and broken bones were cared for and mended, all while I witnessed the destruction that was unleashed on them, because of the consequences of a choice I made selfishly. It’s also, to my dismay, been ten days of meager news on Sammy, and how he’s faring in Noah’s malignant hands. The only thing we know for sure at this point is that he’s still alive. For now, that has to be enough; all three of them are still breathing, even if they are broken for loving me.

I look across the solid cherry wood dining table, laid with priceless crystal goblets, crisp white linens, and fine china plates my father has insisted we use when taking our meals. The fucker demands that we behave civilly in the Holy Father’s compound, so that we appear as guests, and not trapped and abused captives, to the masses who are always watching. I almost objected, but the warning glint in David’s eyes cautioned me to keep my mouth shut for once.

Abe is once again doing all he can to avoid my gaze, even though I can’t stop staring at him to reassure myself that he’s alive and breathing. When he regained consciousness, it wasn’t happiness to see me that graced his face, it was despair. Little by little, every day since, he has done all he can to distance himself from me and Zeke. He flinches whenever either of us attempts totouch him, and barely speaks, lost in his own morose thoughts. Even though his injuries were severe and are healing, they don’t account for his current behavior.Have I lost my berserker for good?Only time will tell, but I hope not. I know that I deserve the way he’s treating me. I acted out irrationally, never weighing the consequences of my actions and who would pay for them. The monster inside of me craved violence and death, and now it is chastised, seeing how it has hurt Abe and Zeke in the process.

I scrutinize his healing bruises and cuts; the swelling in his eyes has faded to just a hint of a yellow-green tinge, the same with his jaw, and his red, swollen, broken nose. His hand is in a cast, and his healing ribs are bandaged below the stupid Brotherhood robe my father insists they both wear. He’s lost weight, preferring to push food around his plate, rather than eating it. I watch as he downs another glass of red wine, rapidly swallowing the contents in one go, as if he needs the numbness that it provides, before reaching out to clumsily pour himself another. That, combined with all the pain meds David is providing him, is causing him to become a hollow version of himself.Don’t shut me out, I’m so sorry. I love you.

My eyes trail to Zeke, who sits uncomfortably despite the plush chairs, due to his healing injuries. The bruises that mar his flesh are not the worst of his injuries; the whipping that he took ripped apart his golden skin, and caused an infection as it healed, that has only just subsided. He is in constant agony as his flesh mends, the wrappings binding him, keeping him safe, but also causing him immense pain. Like Abe, he’s been given pain pills to ease the discomfort, but unlike Abe, he’s refusing them. He’s worried about becoming dependent on them, and he doesn’t want my father to be able to use them against him.

Where Abe looks miserable to have survived, Zeke, on the other hand, is happy to be alive despite all that he has endured, and is relieved that we are all together, well, mostly together.They are still sequestered from me most of the day. The exception is meals, that are held jointly, and I was permitted to spend time with them when they were bedridden, but there were always loyal Brotherhood guards watching, like right now. My eyes trail across the walls of this opulent room, with its deep forest green and gold brocade wallpaper, rich wood moldings, ornate painted ceiling, and sparkling crystal chandeliers. The lavish lifestyle my father lives astounds me. I count five uniformed guards stationed within its depths, all of them armed to the teeth, and ready to shoot us at the slightest hint of provocation, or attempted escape. There is no escaping this hell, and even if I could take one or two down, Abe and Zeke are in no condition to help me. I tighten my grip on my butter knife as one of the guards gives me a raised questioning eyebrow, which I bare my teeth in response to.Let’s see if you would be so brave, if you didn’t have all those weapons, asshole.

“Is there anything new on Sammy? Have they disclosed where my father is holding him?” Zeke’s grim tone echoes my own frustration, at the lack of concrete information that we can use to find Sammy. Not that any of us are in any position to leave the Holy Father’s compound at the moment. “Nothing. They are keeping their cards close to their chests, to force me to do their bidding.” A snort leaves Abe, and has me immediately turning towards him and narrowing my glance in his direction, as he downs the new glass of wine. “Something to say, Abe?”

He pushes back from the table, and rises unsteadily to his feet with the help of a crutch, and a groan, which he attempts to swallow before gripping his side. “Just amused that you’re allowing them to force you into anything,Dinah.“ He shuffles away from the table, stopping in front of one of the guards. “I’m done here,” he utters quietly, but I hear the disdain in his tone.Dinah, not Atasi;he hasn’t called me that since the moment Iallowed him to go down that hallway alone. Has he really lost all affection for me?

The guard escorts him from the room without a backward glance in our direction. Zeke reaches across the table to tangle his fingers through mine, squeezing them and giving me strength to fight back the tears that threaten to fall. I can’t show weakness in front of these Brotherhood men. They would enjoy my pain and misery. “He will come around, Snow. Something is going on with him. He’s not even speaking to me. I don’t know what they did to him when I was passed out, but based on his reactions, it can’t have been good, and no amount of asking him gets him to tell me what happened, and he’s having horrific nightmares, where he wakes up screaming and soaked in sweat.”

“Do you think he will leave us when all of this is over?Leave me?”My chest aches with the thought of losing him, of him walking away from me like he just did, without a backward glance. Will Zeke go with him? I don’t even know what ‘over’ would look like. I just know that I fear it, like a monster with long talons ready to tear me apart. Is that when the world is safe? I am not even sure that will ever be a possibility. Is it when all of us are dead?“Save... Abe, please.”Zeke’s words echo in my head, a living, waking nightmare that refuses to release me. Zeke tightens his grip on my fingers, his emerald eyes filled with sorrow as they stare into mine. “No, I don’t. He could no more leave you than he could me. He belongs to us, and he knows it. Whatever demons he’s fighting inside of his mind, we will just have to be patient until he wins out against them, and returns to us.”

I nod back, but I’m not convinced that Zeke is right. Whatever is happening with Abe may have significant consequences, and he may end up turning on us, or abandoning one or both of us to the Brotherhood. Do I believe that he would leave Zeke behind?No.Am I convinced that his love for me is as strong as it is forZeke? Also,no, despite his previous declarations of love towards me, I know where his heart truly lies, and it’s with the man across the table from me, trying his best not to hurt my feelings. I think he knows it, too. If Abe had to choose between us, I’m sure he would choose Zeke, just like Zeke chose him not too long ago. The only person who I know with certainty would always pick me is Sammy, and he is somewhere out of my reach. I am utterly alone now.

Where are you, Sammy? I need you now more than ever.

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