Page 26 of Be My Salvation

My eyes move slowly over the crowd, connecting here and there with various glances, so that they can feel the sincerity of my emotions, over the overwhelming feeling pouring into me. “I was filled with the desire to cleanse the world around me, but also to destroy it. I am remade of the suffering of many souls that stain my hands red. I have taken many lives on my journey, and now I am here before you, but not to apologize for my actions. Those who sinned against me gave me no such words.” I meet the dark brown eyes of a pretty little blonde-haired girl, who can’t be more than twelve years old. A child that the Order wouldn’t hesitate to maltreat under its dictatorship. As a female, she has no power; she is at the mercy of all the males around her. I don’t want that life for her, for any of the females here, and throughout the world. We are not less than, and we have not been put on this earth only to be a man’s slave, waiting to be abused.

I take a deep breath and push on, breaking the connection with the child, but allowing her presence to strengthen my convictions further. “I am not standing here before you as the privileged princess of the Order, Dinah Camrose, or the Unholy Ghost, asking for your forgiveness, or even for your understanding. I am before you because, like so many of you, the Brotherhood took too much from me. So much that I had nothing left to give, and I could not take any more loss. I am standing before you, stained in blood right down to my dark soul, for my mother, and the vow I made to her, and all the other women like her, who were deceived into believing that they were creating a better world under the Order. I am standing before you for the next generation, for children like the ones here in the crowd, and my nephew, who still have a chance to make things right.”

I look back over my shoulder, and glimpse Zeke, Sammy, and Abe standing behind me at the opening of the balcony. Theyhave various emotions across their faces, but the underlying one is love. They love me, all three of them. They support me fully, even if it means that we all go to our deaths together. I turn back to the crowd. Tears fill my eyes, and I swipe angrily away at them. “I am here before you, telling you that a reckoning is upon us. That the world cannot continue with this evil leading it. If we had all banded together, and fought back against the chains of oppression, we never would have been enslaved. We allowed them to take our lives, and do with them what they wished. They grew this empire on our backs, on our sweat, and on our blood. They have not suffered like I have, like you and your children have. You can choose to continue in this life, allow the Brotherhood to persist in treating you like brainless, helpless sheep, or you can take a stand. You can put a stop to the tyranny, and oppression of your daughters, sisters, mothers, and wives. You can decide, at this moment, not to cower like a beaten animal, and be a wolf that strikes back.”

“WE WILL ALL DIE! YOU CAN’T FIGHT THE ORDER!” Someone shouts from the crowd. Their words pull a slight smirk to my lips. “That is what they want you to believe. There are far fewer of them than there are of us.”

“WHO WILL LEAD US? YOU?”

“No, I am not here to be your leader, but a mere reminder of what you could be, of how to fight back. The Unholy Ghost does not seek power or gain. She,I, only ever sought revenge, and to cleanse the earth. There are leaders among you who have spent years helping from the shadows; those are who you should elect. You need a proper democracy and government. You need to pick people who actually care, and not for their own gain. People who seek to heal this society, and not rip it further apart. No one person should control another. That is not how we help the world heal.”

“WHAT IF WE CAN’T DEFEAT THEM?”

“You can and you will. Look to your left and to your right. Look behind you and in front of you. Those are your soldiers, those are your sisters and brothers. Their suffering is your suffering. Their need is your need. Rise together, and nothing will be able to stop you. We are all made up of different strengths and weaknesses, so harvest them without pride and fear, and we will weather the storms together.”

Arms begin ascending high in the crowd, fisted, all four fingers tight, and the thumb overlapping the remaining fingers. One after the other rises, until it becomes a sea of arms, with tight fists raised. I turn to Sarah with confusion. “What are they doing? What does this mean?” Tears fall one after the other down her cheeks, as a small, pained smile crosses her lips. She looks like she’s exhausted, and aged ten or more years just since we have been on the balcony. “They are honoring you, and showing you they are with you. It is the symbol of freedom, which the resistance uses.”

I turn back to the crowd with disbelief at what I am seeing. In the sea of people, every woman, man, and child, as far as I can see, has their fists raised. I turn to look at my men, and their fists are proudly raised in the air behind me. Sarah raises her fist next to me, beaming with a chuckle. “You may not want to be a leader, Dinah, but it seems fate might have other plans for you yet.”

The crowd begins to chant, and at first, I can’t make out what they are saying. Then, as it picks up momentum, it becomes clearer and more apparent, and they fist the air with their powerful voices raised. “UNHOLY GHOST! UNHOLY GHOST! UNHOLY GHOST!”

“I am honored, but I am not here to lead you. I am just one of you!” I try to shout above the crowd, but it’s no use; there is no way I can be heard. “DEATH TO THE BROTHERHOOD! DEATH TO THE ORDER OF THE SACRAMENT!”

A hush suddenly falls over all of them, and little cries of surprise rise here and there. At first, I have no idea what the hell they are looking at, but Sarah at my side doesn’t seem to be alarmed. Abe, Zeke, and Sammy quickly step onto the balcony, flanking us, tension radiating off of the three of them. Then I see the hands go up all over the crowd, pointing at the left side of the balcony at a stone wall. I turn my head, and my breath stutters in my throat. Holy fuck! Words appear, as if by magic, painted in blood red along the surface of the stone.

“See, little Dinah Camrose, that is how you start a revolution and burn the world down,” Sarah smirks and raises my fist into the air, to the cheers of the crowd. “We leave nothing to chance, little bonus daughter.”

Jesus fuck, what the hell have I done?I can’t lead these people. I don’t want to lead anyone. I just want to have a peaceful life with my men and my nephew. A boulder drops to the pit of my stomach, fuck, my father is somehow behind all of this.

Chapter thirty-eight

The Sinner

Dinah

The last few days have been a whirlwind of activity. My little impromptu speech on the balcony was broadcast worldwide through the rebels’ network. I could have never anticipated the reaction to my words. I truly believed that no one would follow me, that they would see right through me, to all the pieces that are irrevocably broken, and coated in bloodshed. Yet, to my horror and amazement, that’s not what happened. Instead of ignoring me, or seeing me as an inadequate leader, they took to the streets in every major city, small town, and village. They set fire to all of the Brotherhood compounds, and embassies. They fought valiantly against their oppressors, using whatever they had on hand as weapons. Many have died on both sides, and many cities are now piles of rubble and ash. There was so much loss that I wish could have been avoided.

Women all over the world have risen up angrily, and demanded their freedom. They are breaking face with the rules dictated by the Order, and I couldn’t be prouder. Somewhere in the heavens, my beautiful mother is smiling down at all this, and I feel like, finally, I haven’t entirely let her down. Even with all this excitement, I know the Brotherhood is not entirely defeated. There are still pockets holding strong against us. We had reports last night of rebels just outside the city limits being slaughtered, and crucified, as a warning to the masses of what happens when you defy the Brotherhood of the Sacrament, by their remaining armies. The gruesome images just further fueled my rage, andintent to destroy every last one of them. Do I realistically believe that we will be able to murder all of the members that oppose us?No.Some of them will change sides, preferring to be on the winning team, but their true alliances will still be with the Order, and we will once again have rats in our midst, much like the one cowering before me now.

“Tell us why we should even trust a word coming out of your mouth, Asa? You have been a high-ranking member of the Order, since you were of age to take over for your father, who was part of its inception,” Abe angrily questions the pathetic man flinching on his knees before me. I scrutinize Asa Bishop; he’s my father’s age, but I’ve never met him before. He’s from one of the outlying cities, in what used to be known as Canada in the world long ago, but now, it is the Brotherhood’s northern reach. Asa managed to make his way quite rapidly to the Holy Father’s compound once the rioting began, laying himself at my feet, with an adamant request that his family be spared.

My gaze bores down on him, and he seems to squirm under my scrutiny. He’s not much to look at, thinning, graying hair at the top of a large round head, a sweaty face with evidence of his enjoyment of excesses in his ruddy cheeks, loose jowls, and broken blood vessels around his nose, all of which tell me Asa here likes to drink too much, and enjoys the bounties provided by his position within the Brotherhood. His large, overweight body can barely keep upright, as he’s forced to bend the knee to the Unholy Ghost before him. A trickle of blood splashes on the pristine stone floor in front of him from the gash on his cheek, courtesy of Abe’s fist. My berserker had to be pulled off of him and restrained, before he really did some damage, not that it wasn’t amusing to watch, because it was. My dark soul craves bloodshed and violence, and Abe is always ready to provide it with nourishment.

I can feel all of Abe’s volatile emotions swirling through the room. He wants to hurt this man for simply existing, and based on Zeke and Sammy’s expressions, he’s not alone. They perceive him as a threat to me, even from his knees. I, however, am keen to hear this information that he wishes to trade for his safety. His wife and daughter have already been removed from his care by Sarah, who came and reported that both had suffered the same fate as my mother and her, and so many more of the Brotherhood’s sacred women. For that alone, regardless of what this man is able to impart, he will die by my hand, but I have no intention of telling him that, until I’ve gotten what I want out of him. I stare down into his frightened crystal blue eyes, and allow him to see his imminent death in the depths of mine. “Speak, or die here and now by my blade.” I don’t hesitate to bring forth the large blade from the sheath strapped to my leg, gripping the black metal handle tightly, and allowing the bright lights to shine off of its surface. Asa cries out, like a child being faced with a boogeyman that haunts all his nightmares. “Please! I swear I have the information you want!” The stench of urine fills the room, and a yellow puddle starts creeping towards my combat books from Asa’s direction.

“Fucking pathetic,” Zeke growls, and bitch-slaps the back of Asa’s head with his tattooed hand. “Kill him now, Dinah. This fool is worthless to us. He doesn’t know anything of value. He is just trying to survive another day in the cleansing.” Ah yes, the cleansing, the apt name the populace has given themselves for the uprising.

“No! Please... I know where your father is! I know where Noah Rothesay is hiding. I helped him... escape,” Asa stutters on the last word, knowing he pretty much just damned himself. He helped Noah Rothesay escape from my clutches. Zeke squats down before him, a menacing look across his handsome features. “Oh, Asa, you’ll be lucky if I don’t rip out your beatingheart right here, and offer it to her as a gift of my undying love. I suggest you quit withholding that information now, and spill your traitorous guts, before I slice you open and have them spill from your body while your family watches. I’ll just bet your wife and daughter would be relieved to see you die a painful death.”

“Enough!” I growl. I get what Abe and Zeke are trying to do, but frightening him to death won’t help us find Noah, and so far, this maggot seems to be the only lead we have. Noah has gone underground and disappeared, and although the rebels are trying to use their network of internal spies to locate him, it’s pretty much been like finding a needle in a blood-soaked haystack. If this wretched man can lead me to him, then I’ll delay his inevitable execution. “Tell me what you know and hold nothing back. Your time on this earth will be cut short if you don’t. I’m not negotiating with you. You know full well what I am capable of, so unless you want to die a horrifically painful death, like your Brotherhood scum brethren, you will tell me all I want to know now.”

Sammy’s silent form observes from the shadows. He has left it up to Abe and Zeke to mete out violence on my behalf. The lines of strain are clearly visible on his exhausted face. This is all too much for him. He’s still dealing with his healing injuries. The trauma that he suffered isn’t going to go away overnight, and, in fact, it may never go away. He refuses to sleep in a room with us, for fear that he will wake up and not remember where he is, and lash out with violence. A huge part of me is so relieved to have my protector back in my life, and in my arms, but another part of me realizes that he is no longer that same man, and things will never be able to go back to the way they were before he was captured. I hold onto a tiny morsel of relief that at least Zeke, Abe, and he have put aside their need to kill each other for now. It’s an uneasy truce, and one I know they are committing to for me. Love is a funny, fickle thing; one moment, it can destroyeverything you know about yourself, and the world around you, and in the next instance, it can be all that is keeping you going.

“He’s...” Asa seems to choke on his very words, and as a reminder that I am not fucking with him, I strike forward with the blade and slice his cheek open. “He’s hiding in a textile production warehouse I own, five hours outside of the capital. He and a few of his men are there, hiding from you and the rebels.” I release a sigh filled with disappointment. I was looking to inflict a little more violence on this fucker before he gave me what I wanted.Damn quivering coward.

“How many men are with him?” Sammy asks, and this is the first time we have heard his voice since this interrogation began. “I will not answer to low-born scum,” Asa has the nerve to sneer in Sammy’s direction, with a look filled with insolence.Wrong move asshole.I don’t hesitate, slashing the blade once more, this time across the ragged collarbone of his shirt, and parting the fine material to reveal the instantly bleeding skin below. “Jesus, this fucker still doesn’t understand that his world is over. Listen to me, you disgusting cunt. He may be low-born in your eyes, but he’s more than twice the man you are. He has everything you don’t, including fucking pride and self-worth.” Zeke grabs a fistful of Asa’s receding hair and forces him to look up at him, and the high-pitched, terrified screams are a balm to my soul. “Ten... ten were... with him... last I saw him.”

I turn away and try to hide the smile, and joy, that Zeke’s defense of Sammy brings me. It means we are one step closer to them not hating, and wanting to murder, each other.Baby steps.I can live with that, at least for now. I turn around and meet Sarah’s eyes. “Find all the information you can on the warehouse. I want to see schematic building plans for the warehouse, and an aerial map of the space around it. I refuse to walk into a damn trap that Noah may be setting for us.”

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