Page 22 of Embracing Easy

“What are you thinking about?” he asks, scooping me back into his arms and stepping into the shower.

The warm water cascades down over us both, and I moan. “Nothing.”

As he sets me on my feet, my legs are still a bit shaky. Perceptive of everything, he notices, and quickly his hands go to my hips to steady me.

“You good, baby?”

I nod, my teeth sinking into my lip. There's something about the way he's looking at me, the way he calls me ‘baby’ like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

“Let me take care of you,” he murmurs, reaching for his shampoo.

I close my eyes as his strong fingers work the suds into my hair, creating a thick lather. With perfect pressure, he massages my scalp with surprising gentleness. It feels incredibly intimate, more so than what we just shared on his dining room table.My cheeks warm at the thought before the severity of our carelessness sinks in.

“Shawn,” I say softly, opening my eyes to look up at him. “We didn't use protection.”

His hands still in my hair, and I watch as a plethora of emotions cross his face—concern, regret, fear, and something else that looks a hell of a lot like hope, then regret again. “Fuck, Lex. I'm sorry. I didn’t… Fuck! I'm clean, baby.” His eyes drop to my belly. “And if?—”

“Hey,” I reach up to touch his cheek. “We don’t have to worry about that. I'm on the pill.”

The tension in his shoulders eases slightly as he shakes his head from side to side. “I should have asked—should have thought about it. But you drive me fucking crazy, baby.”

“I trust you,” I tell him, realizing how much I mean it. “And I'm clean, too. Got tested after I found out about John's... activities.”

His jaw clenches at the mention of my ex. “I just had a full workup done for my VA insurance two weeks ago.” He tilts my head back gently, beginning to rinse the shampoo from my hair. “Still should have been more careful with you.”

“We're okay,” I assure him, closing my eyes as the water runs down my face. “More than okay, actually.”

His low chuckle echoes off the shower walls. “Yeah? You saying you enjoyed yourself, Lex?”

I peek up at him through wet lashes, feeling bold. “I think you know exactly how much I enjoyed myself.”

“Fuck,” he growls, pulling me closer. “You're going to be the death of me, I just know it.”

I wrap my arms around his waist, resting my head against his chest.

Standing here in the circle of his arms with the water running over us, I can't remember the last time I felt this happy.

Chapter Ten

Easy

The dry desert heat feels thick in my lungs as I run through the loose sand, my boots struggling to make traction. I swipe at the sweat stinging my eyes, but I can't stop. Not with Koller’s desperate voice crackling through my earpiece.

“Man down! We need—” Static cuts through his words, breaking up the transmission. “—multiple casualties! Where the fuck is our backup?”

I round the corner of the smoking building, and that's when I see it. The kid can't be more than seven, standing in the middle of the street. His dark eyes are wide, filled with fear as he clutches something tightly to his chest.

“Stop!” I start to scream, but it's too late.

The device in his hands detonates, and like it’s all part of a scene from a movie, slowed down for dramatic effect, a wall of fireand shrapnel explodes outward, and the kid disappears in a spray of red.

Through my ringing ears, I can hear my own heavy breathing mixed with the sound of screaming coming from a man beside me, his legs nowhere to be seen. I look around, needing to find Johnson and spot him lying ten feet away, not moving. Standing here in shock, I watch as blood pools beneath him, seeping into the sand.

“Fuck.” I glance down at my hands. They're covered in it. Everything is coated in it.

On autopilot, I move and drop to my knees beside the wounded man, pressing my hands over where his legs used to be, trying to stop the bleeding, but there's too much destruction. Too much fucking blood. The man keeps screaming and screaming and?—

My eyes shoot open as I jolt awake, my heart hammering against my ribs like it's trying to punch through my chest.

---