Page 8 of A Lost Light

Ambrose appeared at my side, stepping through the in between to move from one side of the courtyard to the other in a faint wash of cool fear. His black and red gaze was sharp. Curious. But he didn't comment on what he thought about the current project or my questionable talents, which was more of a relief than I wanted to admit. I wasn't used to acceptance. But apparently, I still craved it.

“There's only one person's opinion that really matters,” Andy said firmly, crossing her arms under her breasts and casting a no-nonsense look around at the others before focusing on theghost. “Elijah, this is your choice. It's your life. No one else can make the choice for you. And they can stick their opinions up their asses, either way.”

I smirked. She really was amazing. I knew she had doubts. But she knew Elijah wanted this more than he was willing to admit, and she wouldn't hesitate, if this was what he wanted to do.

The ghost did his weird version of hand wringing, merging his appendages together then pulling them apart and reforming them over and over again. “I…” His hollow voice was full of emotion. So much more than he usually displayed. “What would this entail?” His hovering form turned toward me, the glowing blue orbs of his eyes flaring with the lingering remnants of his power.

I drew in a breath, all of my eagerness over knowledge and solving new puzzles fading under the power of that ghostly gaze. Elijah was more than a puzzle to be solved. He deserved my honesty.

“I would anchor your soul to the body much like we anchored you to the charm Andy is wearing. But the process will be much more involved. And… I can't guarantee the outcome.” I stared into his gaze, unflinching and brutally honest. “I've never done this before. Technically, it shouldn't be possible. Oh, I'm fairly certain some necromancer somewhere in history has figured it out at some point.” I shrugged. “But they were probably executed and their existence wiped from memory. So, there's no handy guidebook or grimoire to tell us what to do. And… it's not something anyone else can ever know about.”

Andy reached for the ghost as if he were solid, but her fingers trailed through him. Her gray eyes met mine. “We could lose him for good, couldn't we?”

I nodded. “It's a distinct possibility, if the body rejects the new soul. It's also possible that he might feel pain, or suffer some other consequence. I really can't say for sure.”

Elijah had been integral to our freedom. He was the one who had found Andy and convinced her to free us all from the bestiary. If not for him, I might still be a witch's slave. I really didn't want to hurt him or make him disappear. But Andy was right, it was his choice. And I wasn't going to deny him the choice if it was at all within my power. I knew whatIwould choose in his place. But still, the decision was his.

Elijah spun in place, as if glancing around at everyone, at the courtyard, maybe the mansion that had become his home. Just thinking, or saying goodbye? I wasn't quite sure. Everyone was silent as the seconds ticked by.

I kept a bit of my attention on the corpse at my feet. We really did need to hurry this along. The beginnings of the decay process set in faster than anyone realized. With a typical walking dead, that didn't matter. There was no real consciousness there to be offended. But in this case… evenIshuddered to think about having my soul anchored to a rotting corpse.

I sent out a tendril of my magic to slow the process, to preserve what I could of that last lingering spark… to give Elijah the time he needed.

Finally, the ghost turned to Andy.

“I have endured being stuck in this form—halfway between life and death—for far,fartoo long. I'm… tired.” He reached out a ghostly appendage and trailed it along Andy's cheek in the parody of a caress. “If I could fully live, if I could fully be part of your world, that would be my fondest dream. But if not… if we attempt this and fail… I want you to know that finally fading is not such a horrible thought to me, as it must be to you.”

Tears welled up in those big gray eyes, but Andy nodded. “I understand. This is why it has to be your choice.”

The ghost hid the weariness well. But now that he said it… I thought we could all feel the truth of his words. He was here for Andy. But he was also a soul that had existed long past itsexpiration date. I thought maybe “tired” didn't even begin to cover it. And that made me feel slightly better about the risk of untethering him.

“If there is discomfort or… unpleasantness,” I said softly. “Sunny will help me pull you from your new host. It will be… well, not painless—I can't guarantee that. But we won't let you linger in suffering if we fail. Drawing souls from the living is something my other half excels at.”

Elijah's ghostly form was distinct enough for me to see his nod of acknowledgement.

“I wish to try,” the dead angel said on a gusty whisper. “Please.”

I knew it took courage for him to admit what he truly wanted. To voice desires that may not be understood or accepted by the people around him. Niamh had called the idea unnatural. If there were any other angels here,theywould certainly be judging him right about now. Probably preaching about holiness and purity, or some such bullshit. And as much as he had changed since his death, he probably still heard their voices in his head, the stubborn remnants of his upbringing.

I could sympathize. The old echoes of others' disapproval and judgement were something I often had to battle with myself. But we couldn't let that keep us from living.

“Let's get this body to the workroom before it's too late,” I said, stooping and grabbing an ankle again. It would be easier to animate it and walk it down there, but I didn't want to disturb the current state of the body, lest I ruin the anchor for Elijah. Some corpses resisted repeated animation, and I had a feeling an angel's body might be one of those. Best not to find out the hard way.

Andy stooped to help me, but we both stepped back when Zhong shoved us out of the way. Squatting down, the gargoyleeffortlessly scooped up the corpse and stood, looking at me for direction.

“Lead the way, necromancer,” he rumbled out. Apparently, he had made up his mind which side of the fence he was on. Hopefully the others followed suit.

But if not, fuck them.

“Come on, Elijah,” I said evenly, gesturing for Zhong to head inside. “Let's go make you a new home.”

Andy's hand found mine as we moved inside, and the way she squeezed my fingers bloodless made me glad I didn't have the same moral compass that the rest of these idiots did. Because if what we were about to do actually worked, it would mean the world to the witch at my side. And that was all that really mattered.

Chapter 5

Elijah

Ilooked down, watching my… fingers… as I moved them, closing and opening them, rotating my hand to look at the back and the front. I hadn't had real, tangiblehandsin over a century.

---