Page 56 of A Lost Light

“It’s soft. Surprisingly soft. Though I suppose that's a stupid statement. Of course you aren'treallymade of marble. At least, not until you want to be.” And I was rambling now. But, oh well. Such was my life. And he didn't seem mad. “Gargoyles are fascinating.”

He chuckled again. “You thinkeverythingis fascinating.”

“You are not wrong, sir,” I informed him.

“You don't miss them? Your family that you left behind out there?” he asked with a searching look in those yellow eyes.

I sighed, letting go of a tension I hadn't even realized I was feeling. “OfcourseI do. I didn't really fit in very well among my clan. But I love my family and they love me. And, there are certain things that only a shifter would understand. Cultural things that I miss. Still though, it feels right to be here. I just need to figure out my place. My role here.”

He considered this for a moment. Then the giant of a man held out a big hand. I took it in mine naturally, without thinking anything of the gesture, still waiting to see what he was thinking.

He smiled a bit. “Big cats are really tactile with each other, aren't they? Pretty social among their own family groups? Are shifters the same?”

I looked down at our clasped hands, slowly realizing that maybe my reaction to his offered hand hadn't been what others would do? “Yes,” I said slowly.

“You're feeling lonely, even though you want to be here. You have all these strangers around you, and we all have a family bond, but you're an outsider. I won't laugh at you or judge you.But… why did you come out here to talk to me? I'm kind of the most boring person in this house.”

I huffed. “Well, the fae told me to go away. The jinn set me on fire. And the others are busy. Besides, you don't seem to mind my annoying questions. You're the nice one.” I winked.

He shook his head, still smiling in amusement. “You don't do so great with isolation, do you?”

I shrugged. “I do try to avoid it. Unless I have some interesting new research to do.”

He released my hand. Then he lifted his big mitt to stroke my half-dry hair, gently petting me. That faint little hint of a blush tinged his cheeks again, but he seemed determined to ignore his embarrassment. “I don't mind your questions at all,” he said, his deep voice gentle and soothing. “But… is this okay? Or, do you need… a hug, maybe?” Then he stopped petting me and held up his hands as if to ward off a protest. Probably because of my earlier line of questioning. “I'm not propositioning you or anything. I just… um. You don't have to sleep with anyone to get your needs met. I mean. It's okay to need touch. Or. Bonding?” He ran a hand over his face and let out an exasperated sigh. “I'm saying this all wrong.”

I gripped his wrist and pulled his hand away from his face, then scooted closer on the seat and guided his arm around my shoulders so I could snuggle in against his big, solid body. “Yes,” I said in relief. “For the love of all the gods and goddesses. I just need totouchsomeone. Please!”

Zhong laughed, and the deep sound reverberated through him and into me, making me want to purr in response. “Little cat, you are so wonderfully strange.”

I huffed, but didn't move out from under his massive arm. “I'm not alittlecat. You're just gargantuan. Any normal-sized person would seem small by comparison. And yes, I'm used to being called weird. I've learned to just accept it.”

He removed his arm from around my shoulders, but only so he could grip the back of my neck with one huge hand and squeeze, massaging and comforting. I did purr then, the rumble of pleasure rippling through me. Perfection. Now if I could convince everyone to sleep in a giant pile tonight with me in my leopard form, all would be right with the world.

“I know I look like I’m made of stone and all,” Zhong commented with a hint of humor in his deep voice. “But I like this too. Touch. Affection. Just being near someone. Any time you want to cuddle, I'm your man. I won't set you on fire or get mad you're in my personal space.”

I purred louder. Then, throwing caution to the wind, I swung a leg over and moved to sit straddling his massive thighs, pressing my nose into the crook of his neck so I could scent him. He smelled of flint and mountain air, and I rubbed my cheek against his jaw, giving in to the instinct to mark him. He chuckled, but didn't flinch away, wrapping his strong arms around me instead. Despite the intimacy of the pose, that was all. We just sat there in silence, soaking in the comfort of touch and closeness with another living person.

Eventually, a surprised rodent peep intruded, and I lazily lifted my head to regard Andy's familiar. Bis stood up on his two back paws and peered up at us over the side of the bench. “If you're not going to mate now, can I come up and cuddle too?”

I laughed at his phrasing. “No mating just now,” I assured him. My curiosity newly awakened, I leaned away from Zhong to scoop up the strange, wonderful creature and pet the soft, spineless fur of his tiny head. He was a wonder. “Would you like me to shift?”

He peeped excitedly and pranced in my hands. “Yes! I want to cuddle with the kitty.”

Zhong chuckled. “Am I allowed to pet you if you're in cat form? Is that rude?”

I shook my head adamantly. “You're definitely allowed, big guy.”

Shedding my clothes, I made quick work of shifting. Then I leapt back up onto the bench and draped myself over Zhong's lap. Bis clambered up onto my back and walked in circles, kneading my fur like a tiny masseuse before he curled up into a happy ball.

This was what I had been missing, though I hadn't realized it on a conscious level. Zhong was a very perceptive man. And thankfully, a very tolerant soul. I leaned up and swiped my rough tongue along his smooth cheek in thanks, then lowered my head on my paws, drifting off to his soft chuckle and the feel of his big hand stroking my head.

Chapter 33

Andy

Ifrowned as I read through my notes. Try as I might, I was still coming up with zilch. I had no idea how to stabilize the pocket world we were hiding in and make it more permanent. Dyre said it was impossible, that no matter what we did, our only true options were to either stay here until the pocket world imploded and hurled us out into the space between realms… or take our asses to another realm—one where there was a war brewing. I knew he was right. But I kept worrying at the problem like a half-starved dog with a bone.

And yes, I was self-aware enough to know that I was using it as a distraction from other things. Things I didn't want to think about. Like how, try as I might to resist, all roads seemed to lead to me eventually joining up with the crazy rebels, not only putting my neck on the line, but risking the lives of the new family I had only just begun to build in the process.

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