Page 20 of A Lost Light

I sighed. “I'll go over there and stay by the stupid thing while you all have your fun.” Taking the strap of the amplifier off from around my neck, I passed it to Zhong for safe keeping. Then I got up and trudged over to the nullifier.

We weren'tsurewhat all of the effects of the nullifier would be on each of us, but we could certainly form hypotheses. And the current hypothesis was that as a witch, I was probably safest around the damned thing. If I lost my magic, I just became essentially human. I would lose some intangible things—my longer life span, my resistance to human diseases, all things that would be a long-term problem, but didn't really put me in danger in the short term. But the others… they weremadeof magic in a way that I wasn't. Too much time near the nullifier could potentially kill them.

I felt my magic drain away as I entered the nullifier's field of effect. My fingers tingled unpleasantly, and I felt lightheadedas I lost my connection to the earth. I reached down to my waistband and tilted my insulin pump so I could see the screen that showed my current blood sugar. The pump would be unaffected by the absence of magic, but the null might affect what little natural resistance the stupid curse had left me with.Two hundred. Eh.Not great. But also high enough I wasn't in any immediate danger of passing out. In situations like this, high was always better than low, despite the potential long-term health effects.

When I reached the nullifier, I plopped down in the grass next to it. My whole body felt heavy andnot right. But I'd live. And now I'd be close enough to grab the thing if anyone showed up looking for a fight.

Dyre stood watching me from across the meadow, his arms crossed over his chest and his eyes narrowed—and I was pretty sure if I was close enough, I'd see that one eye was violet, and one pitch black. Aww… both my boys were worried for me. How sweet. I chuckled to myself. The lack of magic was making me feel loopy. But it would pass. I just needed to adjust to being a boring old human.

“I'm fine!” I called out, waving cheerily. “Stop glaring. Red Rover, Red Rover, send someone on over. I'd like to get this over with sometime this damned century!”

Niamh jogged my way. I could tell the moment she hit the nullifier's border. Her aura went out like a light, and she stumbled, trying to adjust. When she reached me, she was panting. Which was crazy. I didn't think I had ever seen her out of breath before. Unless I was the one causing it. “I feel I might vomit,” she informed me succinctly, her face pale, and her lips pinched.

Fae used magic, just like us witches. But the source was different. They didn't just pull up raw elemental magic and redirect it. They filtered it through their being, twined it upinside themselves to make it something different, somethingmore. It was connected to them on some deep, physical and psychic level. If she was to stay like this, we were all pretty sure Niamh would slowly wither away, like the plants she had an affinity for.

I arched my eyebrows at her in a silent“Well?”

She straightened from her hunched posture and drew her knife from her belt, making a few wide slashing motions with it. “It's like moving through water,” she muttered. Then she put the knife away and grabbed the bow from her back. Nocking an arrow, she turned and aimed at something off in the opposite direction from where everyone else was standing. “I can't see,” she griped, like an old grandma. All she needed was some thick glasses to push up on her nose. “This would definitely require some adjustment in the heat of battle,” she muttered.

All the humor faded from me as I was once again reminded why we were here. No matter how much I might try to pretend, this wasn't some fun magical game we were playing. No. We were here to figure out how this all worked so we could better defend ourselves. Or, if Bella and her rebels had their way, so we could better murder anyone who stood against us.

We were so screwed.

“Go back,” I said flatly. “You've seen what you need to see. Send someone else to suffer. There's no reason for you to overdo it, fae.”

She put the bow and arrow away and glanced at me. Most of the fae light was gone from her bright green eyes, and her golden skin didn't glow quite the way it used to. Even her hair looked less… magical, where it flowed around her antlers. She was still the most gorgeous woman I'd ever met. But it made me ill, knowing that it wasn't just her looks that were changed. The spark of life inside her was slowly dying.

“Andy?” she said, coming to crouch down next to me, her fierce fae heart right there for all the world to see in her concerned gaze.

I waved her off. “I'm fine. Go.”

Of course shedidn'tgo. At least not right away. To be expected. Niamh never did as she was told. Instead, she leaned forward and pressed a swift, hard kiss to my lips. When she drew back, her fierce green eyes searched my face. “Whatever the future holds, we will be victorious,” she told me firmly. “We will hunt our prey and eliminate the threat. You will see.”

I shook my head. “Sure. Now will youget out of here! Before you pass out.”

She scoffed at the idea that her strong, perfect fae hunter ass could ever be so weak as tofaint.Then she stood and stalked off to send in the next torture victim.

It was the same for each of them. The moment my companions entered the nullifier's reach, their auras dimmed. Their magic disappeared. And they suffered. They stayed just long enough to get a feel for what would need to change if they were asked to fight within this zone of weakness, and no longer. But it was very obvious that our guesses as to what might happen if they stayed near the nullifier too long were probably correct.

Dyre and Sunny weakened, and had to work very hard to keep control over what little magic they retained—essentially just enough to keep their bond intact and keep Elijah tethered to his new body. And they could feel their magic draining the longer they were near the artifact. Niamh was similarly weakened. Zhong said he could feel himself growing heavier. We were pretty sure he would slowly turn to stone if he stayed for too long. Hasumi, Aahil, and Ambrose all had difficulty maintaining their human forms. It was likely that with prolonged exposure they would simply… vanish, returned to the elements of water, fire, or darkness that made up their being.

Elijah didn't enter the nullifier's sphere of influence. Weallthought that would be a very bad idea. We had only just gotten him a body. We weren't about to risk losing him completely. Fucking around with Dyre's magic was dangerous enough. Tossing Elijah into the null would almost certainly be an insta-kill. Though, Dyre did say he thought it might be possible for him to dosomething.But as he put it, “it wouldn’t be pretty.”

I didn't want to know what anecromancerconsidered “not pretty.”

In the end, if we were ever trapped in close proximity to the nullifier for any long period of time… I would be alone once again. Everyone else would die. But at least they had some idea of how it would feel if they had to fight their way out of that without magic. So… mission accomplished, I suppose. Even if I felt hollow inside.

“Andy?” Hasumi was calling to me. I listlessly tore my attention away from the horrible ways we were all going to die to glance their way. “Put it away, now!” the water weaver demanded.

Right. Mustering my energy, I used my heavy, clumsy, magicless human hands to close the lid of the box and mutter the incantation. The endless sucking void at my side disappeared and magic returned, flooding my senses, burning as it rushed from the earth and plants around me and down my poor, starved synapses.

Hasumi, appeared kneeling at my feet, transporting to me in a rush while the others made their way over the usual way. The water weaver's long, graceful fingers caressed my cheek as they tilted my head up to meet their concerned turquoise gaze. I could feel them pushing good feelings my way—comfort, love, peace. “Better now?”

I blinked a few times, then shuddered. “Yes. But… what the fuck was that?”

Hasumi's beautiful lips curved upward into a wry smile. “It seems you are not as unaffected by the lack of magic as we assumed. I could tell something wasn't right. Niamh said she was concerned. And in that brief moment just after you turned off the nullifier… I was able to feel it for certain using my abilities.” They lifted pale brows and nodded toward the now innocuous box. “You may not suffer physically from the lack of magic, the way we do. But it seems the disconnect affects your mental health.”

I huffed. How fucking stupid. Except, I couldn't really argue. Now that I was feeling more like myself, I could absolutely see what Hasumi meant. I had lost it for a moment there. I had felt… listless. Hopeless. Defeated before the battle even began. And tired. So,so,tired….

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