Page 22 of My Casanova

“Oh no,” Dani cried.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I didn’t get any of their phone numbers.”

I shook my head. “I’ll get them for you, angel. Don’t worry about it. Where do you live, Stan?” I asked.

He rattled off his address, and I glanced in the rearview mirror to see he was falling over in his seat, and his eyes were closed. “I’m just going to take a nap,” he muttered.

“Is it true you guys are going to open up a shop in the strip mall?” Dani asked.

I nodded. “I think so. Did Yarder, by chance, ask you about your landlord, or was he too busy wrangling the girls?”

Dani laughed. “He asked me. I gave him his phone number.”

I turned onto Stan’s street. “You don’t live far from the shop, Stan.”

Stan startled awake at his name. “Two large cheese pizzas and an order of breadsticks,” he mumbled.

“What?” Dani laughed.

Stan shook his head and leaned forward between the front seats. “Huh? I was ordering pizza.”

I mean, he was, but I didn’t know why he was doing it.

“Oh, I bet Donald would love pizza.” Dani patted his cheek.

At least these two were nice and funny drunks.

I pulled into Stan’s driveway. He fumbled with the door handle and swayed away from the door in his seat. “Okay, Stan, let’s get you inside before you start ordering dessert too.”

I got out of the car and jogged around to his side. He was still wrestling with the door handle and muttered under his breath about how it was “stuck on stupid.” I opened it for him and helped him swing his legs out onto the driveway.

“Whoa,” Stan mumbled and gripped my arm as he tried to stand. “The ground is extra ground-y tonight.”

“Yeah, it’s got that effect after a few bottles of wine,” I said and steadied him.

Stan threw an arm around my shoulder, and together we made our way to his front door. He dug into his pocketand pulled out a keyring that jingled with what seemed like a hundred keys. He squinted at them and mumbled, “Cheese door... no, wait, front door.”

Inside the house, Donald, his bulldog, started barking and scratching at the door. “I’m coming, buddy!” Stan hollered and nearly dropped his keys. “My keys are broke.”

“They’re not broken, man. Here, let me help,” I said, took them from his shaking hands, and unlocked the door in one smooth motion.

Stan leaned heavily against the doorframe and patted my shoulder. “I am more than good, Casanova. I’ve got Donald and two cheese pizzas waiting for me. I ordered them on the way home.”

I tipped my head to the side. “Uh, yeah, you did, Stan. Enjoy your night.”

He smiled loopy and stepped inside. “Later, Casanova.” He shut the door behind him, and I could hear him calling for Donald, saying, “Daddy’s home, and we got pizza coming!”

I shook my head and pulled out my phone. I made my way back to the car and dialed the local pizza place. I got into the car and ordered two large cheese pizzas and breadsticks to be delivered to Stan’s place.

Dani giggled beside me. “You’re a good guy, Smoke,” she said after I hung up.

“Yeah, well, I didn’t have the patience to explain to him that he didn’t actually order pizza.”

Dani leaned her head against the window, and her eyes were half-lidded. “You’re nice. You always take care of everyone, huh?”

I started the car and glanced at her. “Everyone needs someone looking out for them when they need it. And it was just a couple of pizzas I ordered for him, Dani. Not like I paid off his mortgage or something.”

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