Page 25 of When Morning Comes Around

Now, the vivid image of what she’d seen when she’d opened the door to Dale’s office filled her head. The strange thing was that she didn’t feel the same shock and horror that she had. She frowned at the ceiling, trying to find the name for what she was feeling. When the word came to her, she sat bolt upright in bed. Relief! That was what she felt. It was strange to have to acknowledge it – she might have expected words like devastated or betrayed or something along those lines. But the truth was that she felt relieved.

She rolled the concept around in her mind, wondering what it was about. Why would any woman be relieved to find her husband of more than thirty years not only in a compromising position, but also engaged in a more than compromising act with another woman?The woman, Adrienne, was someone whom Sadie had known for years. She was a sales rep for one of the manufacturers. She wasn’t exactly a friend, but…

She let out a short laugh. She was far from a friend and… Wow! Sadie was surprised when it hit her that as far as she was concerned, Adrienne was welcome to him. And Sadie herself? She was so much better off out of there.

She glanced over at her cellphone that was sitting on the nightstand. It was seven-thirty already. She should get up. She reached for the phone. Seven-thirty here, meant ten-thirty on the East Coast. There was a decent chance that Josh would be up and about. She dialed his number and waited.

“Hey, Mom. How are you? Is everything okay?”

“I’m fine, sweetheart. I made it to Grandpa’s.”

“That’s good. I know you love it there. You can still come here if you want to, you know.”

She laughed. “I know, thanks. But we both know that’s not ideal. I love you for offering, but you have your own life to be getting on with. I’d only be in the way. At least here, I can feel useful.”

“How’s Grandpa doing?”

“He’s more banged up than I realized, but he hasn’t done any major damage. And he’s in good spirits.”

Josh laughed. “Let me guess – he’s happy that you left Dad, right?”

Sadie frowned. She wasn’t sure that she liked the way that sounded.She’dleft Dale? That made it sound as though she’d walked out on her marriage. The truth was,he’dleft her no choice. Still, that wasn’t something that she wanted to get into with her son.

“I’m not going to lie; of course he is. The two of them have never gotten along.”

“That’s an understatement! They hate each other’s guts.”

“True.”

“So, do you think you’re going to stay there? Have you talked to Dad?”

“Yes, I think I’ll stay. Grandpa could use the help around here. As for your father, I haven’t heard a peep out of him.”

“He’s an asshole.”

“Josh!”

He laughed. “What? We both know it’s true – even before he did what he did. And if you’re hurting, I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be an asshole myself. It’s just that with time, you’ll get it, you’ll see that I’m right.”

“Can I tell you something strange?”

“Sure, what’s up?”

“I’m not sure that I should tell you this.”

Josh laughed. “What, because you’re the parent and I’m the delicate little child who might be traumatized by what you have to say?”

She laughed with him. “No, I gave up trying to protect you years ago. It’s just… I suppose I don’t know what I think myself, so I’m not sure how it’ll sound.”

“Try me.”

“You said,if I’m hurting– I’m not. I’m not even sad. I’m… I was just thinking about it, and the word that came to me was relieved – I’m relieved, Josh. I feel like I should be angry – IknowI should be angry. I’d understand it if I were sad. No matter what he did, we shared a lot of years together – there’s a lot to grieve, you know?”

“I know what you mean, but if you think about it, you probably did all your grieving before it ended. You used to get angry at him years ago, but it didn’t change anything. When I left home you were sad, and I don’t just mean about me leaving. You’d been sad for a few years before that. It was almost as though you were resigned to how things were, and you were sad because you knew that your life would never be what you’d hoped.”

Sadie closed her eyes and leaned back against the headrest. “I’m sorry, Josh. Was it really shitty for you?”

He chuckled. “No. It was fine. I had a great childhood. You and I used to have a lot of fun, and he mostly stayed out of the way. What I’m telling you now is what I’ve figured out looking back. I was barely aware of any of it at the time. All I knew was that I wished you were happier, but I didn’t see how you could be while you were married to him, and I didn’t think you’d leave him.”

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