We landed on the top of the Triton Tower, one of my holdings in Springfield. When we put down, Grace clapped a hand over her mouth and faced me with sheer joy in her eyes. “Can we do that again? Please?”
I had to laugh. I wasn’t used to being around someone so unabashedly excited about life. Well, other than Jack.
My mood instantly darkened at the edges. Jack would be perfect for Grace. They could have untold adventures together, while I watched from the sidelines and ran a running snarkumentary in my head.
“Yes, we can, since we have to go back.” I leaned over to fuss with her harness, only realizing then that her chest was rising and falling as if she couldn’t haul in enough air. “Are you all right?” I asked, glancing at her face.
She was glowing again, even more so than before. The night was no match for that kind of wattage.
“I’m so good. So good.” She grabbed my arm, the one she’d marked so thoroughly yesterday. My dick stiffened at the first scrape of her nails. “It was like the way a bird must feel. No doors, just air between us. Oh God, what a fucking rush.”
I’d no sooner unstrapped her that she grabbed the box of lanterns and hopped down. She twirled in a dizzy circle, laughing maniacally as her hair spun out like golden ribbons around her.
And I just watched her, mesmerized.
Of course, I couldn’t have her. No one could. It was impossible to trap a beam of sunlight. The only thing you could do was enjoy the warmth for as long as it lasted.
I climbed down and grabbed another box of lanterns from behind the seat. She was still buzzing excitedly as we made ourway down to the street, then continued up the block to the park where the rally was being held.
From a distance, I could see the giant reflective panel of glass Carson Covenant had sent to the event, the perfect backdrop for all the lights that were beginning to fill the park.
This event was a symbolic gesture more than anything else, and while I disliked the futility of such, even I could acknowledge this night would garner attention. That was all we could ask for, short of bringing Jimmy home.
We were at the outskirts of the park when Grace finally quieted, her happy chatter dying away until it was replaced with a frown. Seeing her glow disappear into the shadows of what we were about to do was almost worse than the helplessness I felt that Jimmy was still out there.
Maybe alive or maybe not, but alone. His parents didn’t have closure, and an entire town was in flux.
And a playground that had once signified safety and happiness and childhood to me—and so many others, including Grace—had been forever tainted.
I passed her the other box of lanterns. “Would you mind handing these out to whomever doesn’t have one?”
She nodded silently and clutched the boxes to her chest.
“I’ll be back soon,” I told her, nearly bending down to kiss her forehead before sense returned.
I had so little lately that I was surprised the gauge still registered.
She nodded again and opened her mouth, then shook her head before the words escaped.
I spoke to the organizers of the event, as well as a few of the people who’d led the early efforts to spread the news about the boy’s disappearance. Jimmy’s father shook my hand, and I couldn’t get anything out other than “I’m sorry.”
Just those two words.
I’d prided myself for years at my readiness to face any situation at a moment’s notice yet here was a man who could’ve used a word of encouragement and I had nothing. Absolutely nothing.
I could lie to so many others and pretend I still had faith, but I could not lie to him. Staring into his knowing dark eyes humbled me to the point that I had nothing left.
When I climbed to the podium after being introduced, I gripped the makeshift lectern and searched for Grace’s face amidst the sea of people and lights. I didn’t expect to be able to find her, but somehow, I zeroed in on her as if she were a beacon.
Holding my light in her hands, she was.
The tremor in my fingers I hadn’t even fully been aware of subsided as I greeted the crowd. I’d given many speeches and talked to many groups before, often ones made up of the very rich and powerful. None of those talks shook me like this one, where I faced honesty and had to give back my own.
“Jimmy Calagnino is six years old. Not was six years old,issix years old. Because until we hear otherwise, he’s as alive as you and me. He has dreams and hopes and wishes just like all of us do, but the difference is that for this moment, we’re charged with fulfilling his. And the number one wish we need to fulfill of Jimmy’s is that we never forget his name or his face so that we can bring him home.”
I sought Grace’s gaze again and again as I spoke. Knowing she was watching me kept me steady and focused. Without her there, I would’ve floundered, lost in a sea of my own recriminations. Not about Jimmy, but about my own life. Faced with such innocence—and its potential loss—it was impossible not to see all the opportunities that had been squandered.
Even with an ocean of pale blue lights and reflective glass all around me, I would’ve been caught in the dark.