Page 76 of The Chemistry of Us

Sandra chose that moment to walk out of the room like she didn’t just wreck me and throw a cataclysmic bomb onto Vaughan’s and my relationship.

And I couldn’t stand the expression on his face.

It wasn’t filled with love and adoration, the look I’d gotten used to after so many times of whatever we’d been doing.

Now his eyes read something between the lines of distrust and hate.

Vaughan

Tru nodded her head.“I was planning on telling you tonight, actually. I was scared and worried. I’d walked in on them like within a week of getting here. You guys have different rules! Obviously! I mean, look at what Phoebe did to Sam! Just because he’s a foster kid? Or because he’s poor? He was on his knees!”

Vaughan jerked back like I’d slapped him. “Are you actually comparing me to Phoebe right now?”

“No, that’s not what I meant. I’m just saying, I didn’t know you well enough to suddenly be like oh, guess what I saw! Plus, would you have even believed me?”

I wouldn’t have wanted to, no. But she should have at least told me that my dad wasn’t my real dad. Shame chose that weak moment to shift into anger, anger directed at her as if it was her fault, but I needed someone to blame, to project all of this shit onto. “I would have believed you because I love you, but I guess even love isn’t enough for some things. Am I even good enough for you now that you know?”

Of course I chose that moment to tell her I loved her for the first time…

There were so many times I could have said it to her when it wouldn’t be in the memory of such a jaded and fucked-up night.

I did love her.

A lot.

In fact, I think she was the first woman I’d ever truly cared for. This was why her deceit hurt so bad. I couldn’t trust anyone just 'cause of who I was, and I hated that now she was added to the endless list of bullshit people.

Her eyes narrowed, almost as if she was thinking the same thing I was.

Before she could acknowledge what I actually confessed, she asked, “What the hell are you talking about?”

Did she purposely bypass the fact that what our parents are doing also set off a domino effect of my entire life falling apart? Not knowing who my real dad was? I felt like an orphan at that moment.

Betrayed.

Hurt.

And she wasn’t comforting me, nor was she admitting anything.

They said she knew.

“Tell me everything you know,” I whispered, voice shaking.

“All I know is that Sandra and your dad have been together for a while, like a long time, and that your mom and Sandra’s husband just look the other way.”

She stopped talking.

“That’s it? That’s all you know?”

She hesitated just briefly, then nodded. “That’s all I know.”

I couldn’t continue to look at her. Not when it was messing with my mind on whether she was lying to me or not.

Why would she lie?

Why would my father and her foster mother?

What the hell was happening?

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