Page 46 of The Chemistry of Us

She flinched next to me. “Just look down at the paper and attempt not to snarl or cuss me out, and we’ll get through it.”

“That’s the fucking problem, Tru. I shouldn’t have to get through it.”

“Life isn’t fair, Vaughan. Suck it up. The minute you start feeling sorry for yourself is the minute you start caving in and believing all the lies people say about you and more importantly the ones you say about yourself. Now do the damn chemistry so you can angry fuck me later.”

I laughed at that. “Wow, do you really think that’s my only motivation here?”

Her hand slid up my thigh. “God, I can’t believe I’m doing this. It’s like I’ve lost my mind. Thanks for the pee bottle, by the way. I have a gift for you at home too.”

Home. I liked the sound of that. “Oh? Is it that nurse outfit we talked about?”

“No, it’s one of your phobias.”

I frowned. “Being trapped in small spaces?”

She pressed her lips together and shrugged. “Who knows? See? Let’s focus on the darkness that awaits you.”

I shook my head and looked down at the paper. “I can’t really focus on anything right now other than the fact that my dad is a controlling dickhead, and I need to get drafted.”

“Focus.” She nodded. “Focus. I hate you so much for making me do this. Know that this is not fun for me, and I’m only doing this because I know you too well—unfortunately.”

“Huh?” What the hell sort of language was she speaking?

She stood and grabbed her stuff angrily, shoving everything in her bag before leaning down and pointing at me with her pen. “Level four, ancient history, be there in two minutes.”

Level four of the library?

What the hell was up there, and why were we studying ancient history?

She didn’t give me a chance to ask any questions when she went over to the stairs. I slowly gathered my things and walked up the stairs. My brain was a blur of rage and anger still at my dad, and if I was being totally honest—disappointment and sadness. I’d never been the guy to ask the question if anyone in the world actually loved me.

No dad should ever make his son question that.

In my existence, the only person who had ever seen me and stood by my side was the one who walked away. My dad said once you were used to abandonment, it was in your nature to abandon others.

She left me.

My dad deceived me.

And I was still dealing with collateral damage.

I finally made it to the top of the fourth level and walked over to where the sign said ancient history. Huh, poetic or just a really bad reminder? Tru stood with her back facing me at the very end of one of the dark aisles. Actually, why was it so dark up there? It was almost serene. Lights flickered on one side while the ones where she stood were completely out.

Her bag was set aside by the shelves.

Frowning, I slowly approached her. “Are we switching study spots?”

She squeezed her eyes shut and opened them. “I know you.”

I slowly nodded my head. “Yes, I’m very aware that you know me. You know a lot. What’s the point? Or are we just trying to dodge people watching us?”

“You won’t focus the rest of the day, not on tutoring or math. You always need a singular focus. It’s why you always wore a hairband on your wrist. When I first met you, I thought it was because you literally had so many hookups you actually brought a ponytail holder for the end of the night when the girls either puked their guts out in the toilet and you didn’t want to hold their hair or so they could tie it back when you had sex.”

“Nice.” I rolled my eyes.

“But…” She took a deep breath, and the hum from the flickering lights filled the space around us. She slowly backed away from me, deeper into the darkness. “It was so you could focus. You’d snap it on your wrist when you were reading. You’d do the same when practicing with friends, and when you were with your dad, you broke multiple rubber bands on your wrist to the point that you had a mark most days.”

She’d noticed all of that? “So?”