Page 35 of The Chemistry of Us

“Fuck me,” he groaned.

“Is that a question?”

“Is that an answer?”

We were at a complete standstill. Our gazes were locked in that weird way when you didn’t know who should make a move first but knew something had to happen.

“What happened at your parents’?”

“Life happened.” He sighed.

“That’s not an answer.”

“It’s the only one I have.” He laughed. I forgot how much I loved it when he truly laughed. When he was himself and wasn’t putting on a front or trying to please his parents, investors, or coaches.

Me.

“They don’t want what I want.”

I sighed, knowing it was probably worse than he would ever let on. “And what do you want?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It matters because it’s important to you. Stop measuring yourself against everything else. It’s your life, and it always has been. Regardless of what they try to tell you.”

He went completely still.

“Can I ask for a favor?”

I gulped and tried to normalize my heartbeat and breathing. “Maybe?”

“Can I sleep in here with you?”

His voice was so broken that I knew I couldn’t say no, even if I wanted to. Yet the truth was, I didn’t want to.

“Just sleep?”

He nodded.

“Fine, but stay on your side of the bed.”

“Or…” He grabbed me so fast that I didn’t see it coming. In one swift movement, he pulled me to lay on top of him with my head on his firm chest.

My heart began to pound.

However, his stayed calm.

Steady.

Luring me in with each beat.

Neither one of us said anything for what felt like forever. The next thing I knew, it was morning, and the sun beamed through my curtains. Except I wasn’t lying in Vaughan’s arms anymore.

Instead, I was alone.

Which simply reminded me of all the times he needed me, and I was there. Only to wake up by myself. He was already gone.

Using me once again.

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