Page 91 of Waves of Fury

My little brother could still be out there. And I have family in Kansas. Is it smart to stay put in the first town that’s not trying to kill us?

As much as I don’t want to go, my gut tells me I need to. This might be where I’m forced to part ways with Tyler. I’d seen his relaxed smile earlier while he played soccer with some local kids. He was carefree and as happy as one could be during the apocalypse. He already has his family. There’s no reason why he should traipse across states and put them all in danger just so I can be possibly reunited with my brother.

The pain at leaving him behind twists my intestines, nearly having me doubling over and puking out the chicken and dumplings I had for lunch. I don’t want to leave him—or any of our group, for that matter. But maybe it’s for the best.

This morning, over breakfast, Jared extended an invitation to become a part of the St. George community. Permanently. It had appealed to me, so I’m sure they all felt the same way.

I should just go first thing in the morning. Spend one last night with Tyler, pack up a bag, and head out at first light. It’ll be painful, but it’s necessary. The more I think about it, the more I have this overwhelming desire to see Knox.

Maybe Tyler will choose to go with me.

I can’t put him at risk, though. It’s better if he stays here.

As if sensing my inner turmoil, I find Tyler watching me as he sips from a water bottle. A kid tugs at his jacket and points back to the game, begging him to play some more. Tyler says something to the child, but his gaze remains on me.

In his stare, I find heat and need, but there’s also something deeper. Something that locked into place when I pushed inside of him and we made love a few nights ago. Each night is more intense than the last. If I were reading about our relationship in a book, I’d be laughing at how unrealistic it is to fall so hard for someone in such a quick amount of time.

But this isn’t a book.

It’s my reality.

I’m obsessed with Tyler. I fucking adore him. He’s funny and smart and so damn good-looking. I’ll never tire of wanting to pleasure him both inside and out of the bedroom.

Leaving him is really going to hurt.

I force a smile at him and then turn my gaze to the ground, staring at my boots that still have mud caked into the seams despite having been hosed down since the day we lost Judy and Silas.

God, Silas would have loved it here. There are so many children around his age who are happy and playful. Not one of them is worried about where their next meal is coming from or if lightning is going to zap them as they run or if the ground is going to open up to swallow them whole.

Poor Silas. We were so close to having this for him.

I can’t do anything for Silas or Judy or Gerry or the others we’ve lost, but I can keep the rest of them safe by heading out on my own.

Tonight, I’m going to get the group together and break the news. Tomorrow, I’ll be leaving them all behind to set out to find my brother. It’ll hurt, but it’s necessary. I at least owe them a goodbye. Stealing away without telling them would be cruel.

Will Tyler hate me?

Of course he will. But not forever. With me gone, he can find someone his own age who lives here. Maybe Amy. She certainly appreciated his good looks and seems sweet. Tyler doesn’t need me. I’m just some old guy he’s been stuck with. It’s better this way.

Despite my inner convincing, my heart protests, beating wildly at the idea of leaving him here. Imagining Amy’s small, feminine hand on his shoulder or face or lower has disgust roiling in my gut.

He’s mine, dammit.

Tomorrow, he won’t be.

I wait by our motel rooms, anxiously pacing the sidewalk, right after dinner. Wayne is the first to arrive, a thick, bushy eyebrow lifted in question.

“I, uh, wanted to meet with everyone before you all head to bed. Can you give me a few minutes?”

Wayne frowns slightly but nods, leaning up against the wall and fishing a pack of cigarettes out of his jacket pocket. Soon, Dan lumbers our way, head bowed, with Jesse and Hailey trailing behind. They hold hands like an old married couple.

Behind them, Aaron has his arm slung over Hope’s shoulders as they walk, the two of them grinning beautiful smiles.

Everyone’s so at peace here.

Tyler won’t leave his brothers and his brothers seem happy to be here.

It’s better that I go alone.

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