Page 111 of Waves of Fury

Alone.

The thought sends a shiver down my spine. Leaving the group, especially Tyler, after all we’ve been through, seriously makes me sick. I tried once before and they wouldn’t let me.

This time is different.

We lost people because of me. People were injured because of me. I can’t promise what lies ahead from here to Ransom, but I can promise what lies ahead here.

Good people. Showers. Food. Safety. Medical care.

Tyler and the others need to stay here. It’s their best chance at this point. Trying our luck again, as a group, is just suicide. At least if I get myself killed along the way, I’ll have nobody to blame but myself. Guilt won’t eat me alive every second of every day like it does now.

I could leave right now—tonight—but I can’t chance Tyler’s reaction. He’d do something stupid like go after me, leaving his healing little brother behind. I can’t be responsible for that.

No, I need to be smart about this.

I’ll wait until Jesse is back and the group is complete. Then I’ll leave a letter for Tyler explaining my mission and why he can’t come with me.

Will he ever forgive me?

Will I ever see him again?

If it’s safe, maybe I could come back for them. That’s a big maybe, though. Traveling is so treacherous. I can’t make promises, not even to myself.

No, this is goodbye.

A lump forms in my throat as tears burn in my eyes. I could stay. I could try to forget about Knox and try to make a life here with these people—with Tyler.

I nearly scoff at the idea of forgetting my brother. Not a day goes by where I don’t think about him or shame myself for leaving him back in Texas to deal with our prick of a father all alone. I’ll never be able to let it go. I’ll always wonder. And if I don’t look for him and Knox is alive, he’ll think I’m dead. That makes my chest ache too.

There’s only one answer here.

I have to go.

Tyler will eventually get over my leaving. He has to. It’s the only way—even if it breaks two hearts in the process. There’s no room in this world for love.

Family and survival.

Here, Tyler will have both, and it’s the best gift I could ever give him.

Tyler

Aweek passes uneventfully, which is practically a vacation for our group. Jesse was able to join us a few days ago. He hates being made to rest and doesn’t stay down for long. Like now. His cot is empty and his shoes are gone.

“Where’s Jesse?” I ask Aaron as I settle into the chair beside him for breakfast. “He was gone when I got up.”

Aaron glances over at the clock on the wall and chuckles. “Everyone was gone when you got up.”

“Seriously, where is that kid?”

“I’m sure he’s with Hailey,” Hope says from Aaron’s other side. “We’re both supposed to check in with Dr. B today.” Hope holds up her wrapped arm. “I’ll probably be getting a hard cast put on.”

Dr. B is pretty sure Hope’s arm was fractured from when we’d all gotten sucked away in the flash flood. Without anyone qualified to work the X-ray machine, though, Dr. B wanted to keep an eye on the swelling before putting on a cast to see if surgery might be needed first.

“Tell him to rest, please,” I grumble as she stands.

“Okay, Dad,” Hope teases. She bends down to kiss Aaron on the lips and then strides away.

My brother stares after her, a stupid expression on his face.

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