Page 41 of Everlasting Promises

“Oh, Hope,” Sophie murmurs.

“I’m not ready,” I sob.

“You take all the time you need, hon. Nobody’s saying you have to do anything about anything right now,” Lucy reminds me.

Savannah pulls away slightly. “And while you’re waiting to be ready, don’t feel guilty if you dream about another man. It’s only a dream. No harm done.”

A knock against the glass door breaks our moment, and we separate. I dip my face to the floor and head to the bathroom to wash my face and reapply my makeup, doing the best I can with red, puffy eyes.

I park the car,and Evan climbs out. “Have a good practice session and make sure you listen to Coach Mathers.”

“I will.” He slams the door and heads toward the field where the rest of his team is gathered.

I climb out of the car and sit on the hood so I can watch, and while my eyes are on Evan, my mind is still stuck on Ben. All day, it’s been a struggle to keep my thoughts away from the man. It’s been such a long time since I’ve felt any sort of attraction to anyone that the all-consuming thoughts are foreign and unsettling.

The girls helped me realize something Shane’s been trying to tell me for a while now—that it’s okay to move on. Wyatt’s not coming back. I twist my wedding ring around my finger as my heart wrenches, and my stomach twists with the thought, but it’s true, and it’s time I accept that. I don’t think I’ll be ready anytime soon, but at least I’m not dismissing the idea completely—like I’ve done in the past.

That’s progress, right? At this point, I’ll take anything.

Out of the corner of my eye, I notice a car pull into the parking lot, and when I turn to get a better look, my breath catches. I snap my head back around toward Evan and lick my parched lips. It doesn’t mean it’s him just because a patrol car pulled into the parking lot, but it’s not a regular patrol car. It’s like the one I saw parked in Ben’s driveway.

My heart explodes into an erratic rhythm, and my stomach flip-flops. The crunch of tires over gravel in the space next to my car makes the hair on the back of my neck stand on end, and when I hear the door open and close, I do everything in my power to maintain a steady breath. Footsteps crunch closer, and my heart pounds a wonky rhythm in time with each step.

Oh, god. It’s him. I recognize his aftershave as it wafts around me and fortify myself, hoping he can’t tell I had a dirty dream about him last night when he looks at me.

“Hey, Hope. I was driving by and noticed the kids playing soccer. Thought I’d stop on the off-chance one of them was Evan.” He beams like he’s won the lottery.

I can’t help but smile too. “Hey.” I point to the field directly in front of us. “You found him.”

He rests his hands on his duty belt, making the muscles in his forearms tense beneath his intricate tattoos, and I grip the edge of the hood with white-knuckle force to keep my balance.

The first time we met, he was wearing his uniform, but I was so stunned by the entire episode that I didn’t appreciate how fine he looks in his dark blue shirt and pants. When my eyes finally make it back to his face, I’m greeted with a slight smirk. Heat rushes up my neck and into my cheeks as embarrassment washes over me.

“Yeah, it seems I did.” He moves closer and leans his ass against the hood of my car, folding his arms across his broad chest. Slowly, he peels his eyes away from me and turns to watch Evan. “He’s quick on his feet.”

I tear my gaze away from his profile to see Evan sprinting down the sideline with the ball close to his feet, and a genuine grin spreads across my face. “We practiced a lot to increase his speed. He went from being one of the slowest kids on his team to being the fastest.”

I see Ben nod in my periphery. “You’re a great mom.”

My shoulders tense. He keeps saying those words, and I wonder what I’ve done to give him that idea. Most of the time I feel as though I’m failing Evan. I haven’t given him the emotional support he’s needed since losing Wyatt, so my instinct is to deny his compliment, but I don’t want Ben to think poorly of me.

“It can’t be easy raising him alone.”How does he always seem to understand?

I close my eyes briefly to stem the sting of tears. I’ve already had an emotional day, and I don’t want to have another breakdown in front of Ben. His gaze sears the side of my face, and when I’m certain I have my emotions under control, I open my eyes and turn toward him. “Thanks.”

Studying my face, he simply nods, as though he knows how difficult it is for me to accept his compliment. We both turn back to watch Evan, and I do my best to ignore my reaction to having Ben this close. It’s like my body remembers exactly what he did to me, even though it was only a dream.

It takes a mammoth effort to concentrate on the kids on the field and ignore the ache that’s growing stronger by the second. A gentle breeze blows across the field, and I push my curls away from my face with a trembling hand.

I glance at Ben’s cruiser, wondering where Rex is. “Have you finished for the day?”

He shakes his head and turns to me. “Nah, just on a break.” He glances down at his watch. “Actually, I should get going.” Heraps his knuckles on the hood as he glances back at the field. “Will I see you next Saturday?”

I chuckle as I grip the edge of the hood and lean forward. “I don’t think anything would keep Evan away. He loves spending time with the dogs so much.”

He grins. “That’s good to hear, but will I seeyouthere?”

His gaze is intense as he observes me closely, like he’s trying to solve a puzzle, and my mind freezes for a moment, then I nod. “Well, I’ll need to drop him off and pick him up.”

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