Page 49 of Everlasting Promises

“Bye, Ben,” Dad calls as they head off. I watch them pile into Dad’s car and pull out of the parking lot, leaving me alone with Ben.

“Thanks for all of your help today.” I take a step toward my car. “I’ll see you later?” I tug my purse straps higher up my shoulder, preparing to make my escape.

“Happy to help whenever you need it.” He doesn’t seem to be in a hurry to leave, and I sense he wants to linger for a little while, even though it’s getting colder. “I guess you have the evening to yourself, huh?”

My shoulders sag. “Yeah. I always get the first weekend of the month to myself because Evan stays with Wyatt’s parents for the weekend.” I look down at the cracked sidewalk between us. “I hate it.”

“It’s great that they still get to keep that connection with their grandson.”

I wrap my arms around my body. “Of course. I would never deny them,” I say a little defensively.

Ben holds his hands up. “I-I didn’t mean it that way.”

“A lot of people are surprised when I tell them, and I can never understand why.” I soften my tone. “They’re as much Evan’s family as mine are. It would seem unfair for them to lose their son and then never see their grandchild because of that.”

He nods. “Agreed. They’ve already lost so much.” He pauses. “You all have,” he adds, leaning a little toward me. His hands twitch at his sides, like he wants to reach out for me. To comfort me somehow.

My stomach falls and rolls, twists and tangles on itself. “Yeah.” He’s always so caring and understanding whenever Wyatt pops up in the discussion.

We stand awkwardly at the edge of the almost empty parking lot. Since I dreamed about Ben going down on me, I can barely look the guy in the eye. I feel like I somehow took advantage of him against his will when he’s been nothing but respectful—a true gentleman. I drop my eyes to his hands, and my neck heats at the reminder of what his fingers felt like when they were inside me.

Not that I know what they feel like, but the dream was so real.

Oh, god. And now I’m thinking about it while I’m standing right next to him.What the hell is wrong with me?

He tilts his head to the side. “Are you okay?”

I twist a curl around my finger, buying time to get my head out of the gutter. “Uh, yeah?” He studies me closely. He’s not buying my answer. “I guess I’m a little thrown. I wasn’t expecting to be on my own tonight.” I chuckle awkwardly.

Thankfully, he tucks those thick fingers in his jean pockets and out of sight, but I can’t tear my eyes away from the way his tattoos move as his muscles shift. Wyatt only had his army ranger tattoo over his heart. I never realized how much I like tattoos. Or maybe I just like Ben’s tattoos. “I guess you could call your girlfriends and go out, or something.”

My stomach sinks remembering the last time I tried to go out with the girls and failed epically. “Ha. They’d probably love that, but I’m not much for going out these days.” I shrug and drop my eyes to my feet. I sound like a loser.

“I don’t go out that much either.”How can that be?I raise my eyes to his, and he reads my unspoken question. “My best friend is a firefighter, so our schedules rarely align. The most we do is occasionally enjoy a quiet beer atBrady’s.” He drops his chin with a boyish smile. “I guess we’re not that different.”

My eyes widen in disbelief. “Uh, yeah we are. I’m a miserable single mom. You’re a young, good-looking guy.” I wave my hand around the vicinity of his body. “You should be out there,meeting women and having fun.” Even though I say the words, they taste like cardboard on my tongue.

His eyes twinkle as he raises his eyebrows, and a cheeky grin lifts his lips. “Maybe I don’t need to go out to meet a woman. Maybe I’ve already met a woman I’d prefer to spend time with.” His eyes bore into mine, and I get the distinct impression he’s referring to me, but I can’t be certain—and I don’t want to assume anything. It’s better …saferif I assume he’s talking about someone else. I’m certainly not ready to go down that road. I’m not sure I ever will be.

“Oh. Well … that’s great.” I hook my purse straps up higher just for something to do. A sick feeling forms in my stomach. It feels a lot like jealousy, and I have no idea why. I have no relationship with Ben. He’s not mine.

Nor will he ever be.

Not thirty seconds ago, I decided to ignore the prospect that he was referring to me.Idecided I’m not ready. It’s like my mind is a seesaw. “Anyway, I’d better be going. Thanks again for today. Enjoy your evening.” I spin on the heel of my boots to head toward my car.

I don’t like the way he makes me feel.

It feels wrong.

His footsteps sound behind me, crunching over the gravel. “Uh … would you like to maybe eat together rather than both of us eating alone?” My feet falter, and I come to an abrupt stop. Blood rushes through my system like a hurricane, tearing through my veins with such speed that dizziness assaults me. Ben reaches out to steady me, his hand burning through my sweater as he grips my arm firmly. “You okay?”

I swallow thickly, trying to steady myself as I nod slowly. “Yeah. I think so.” I chuckle awkwardly. I must be fifty shades of red right now.

“Was it because I suggested we have dinner together?” he asks softly. I nod once and try to push past my embarrassment. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to put you on the spot or make things awkward.” He shrugs and almost makes himself smaller, as if it’s his size that makes him intimidating.

“No. It’s totally my fault. You … uh … caught me off guard and I’m just an awkward mess.” I flap my hands around myself to drive my point home.

“I just thought we could share a meal … as friends. I always eat alone, and it’d be nice to have company for a change.” He offers a kind smile.

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