Page 21 of Everlasting Promises

Fuck. That’s heavy. “I can’t imagine”—I look off into the distance—“can’t fathom the pain he experienced to feel that way.”

She sighs heavily. “Yeah. He’s a really great guy and has been so good to me and Evan. I just want him to be happy. I want Evan to be happy too, you know.”

“What aboutyou?” The words escape my mouth before my brain can engage to stop them.

Her eyes dart up to me, brows dipping low. “What do you mean?”

I stop tugging the grass and lock eyes with hers—my gray to her aquamarine. “What aboutyourhappiness?”

“I’m happy when Evan’s happy.” Her cheeks rise a little. “He’s happy today. Happier than I’ve seen him in ages, and that makes me happy.” She steals her eyes away and murmurs, “I had my turn at happiness.” She shrugs carelessly, like she didn’t just shatter my heart into fragments that I’m not sure I’ll be able to piece back together. “It’s their turn now.”

“Why does it have to be your turnortheir turn? Why can’t you all be happy?”I need to understand.

Her shoulders push back, and I watch her as she steels her spine. Her eyes find mine and lock me in place. “Have you ever promised someone forever, Ben?” She doesn’t stop so I can respond; she pushes on. “BecauseIdid. And even though Wyatt’s not here to hold up his end of our promise,Iam. Every day for the rest of my life, I will keep my promise to love him. It’s not easy when I miss him with every fiber of my being, but a promise is a promise.” I swallow, absorbing her pain and loss as it hits me like a wave. “Happiness is scarce when your hopes and dreams are stolen abruptly with no time to prepare or come up with contingency plans. My life is no longer how Iwant it to be. My plans … destroyed. Devastation resides in its place. Happiness can’t survive in that environment.” She swipes angrily at her freckle-covered cheeks.

The urge to reach across and take her hand in mine to offer her comfort is overwhelming.

She’s still buried so deep in her grief; I’m surprised she’s functioning at all. I look at her with new eyes and admiration for the steel in her spine and the strength it’s taken for her to still turn up every day for her son.

“You’re amazing. You know that, right?” Questioning eyes look my way. “To be able to raise your son on your own when you’ve lost so much. I bet the temptation to hide from the world was immense, yet you keep showing up, day in and day out.”

She swallows harshly and flicks her eyes away from me with a shrug, then pulls her knees up beneath her chin and wraps her arms around them. She curls in on herself, as if trying to shield herself from our conversation, and I realize it was too much too soon, and way too heavy for a setting like this.

“I wouldn’t say I’ve shown up every day,” she says. “I’ve let Evan down more than I should have. It’s probably why he got tangled up with those boys from school.”

I wave her comment off. “Kids do stupid shit all the time. Doesn’t make them bad kids. Certainly doesn’t make their parents terrible.”

Tori walks over. “Hey, Ben. Some of the parents have arrived. Should we wrap up today’s session?”

I glance at my watch. “Shit, sorry, I lost track of time.” I leap to my feet and call out to the kids. “Okay, time to get the dogs back inside. Let’s go.”

Tori giggles. “It’s okay. The dogs love being out here with them. I just didn’t want a bunch of parents complaining they’ve got better things to do on a Saturday than wait for their kids.”She rolls her eyes. We’ve had that happen before. If Hope met some of the other parents, she wouldn’t be so hard on herself.

We wrangle the dogs back into their kennels, and the kids leave with their parents—except for Donnelly. His mom is often late. Sometimes, she even forgets to pick him up.

Fussing over Rex, Evan and Donnelly talk until Don’s mom comes speeding into the parking lot. I grit my teeth, reminding myself I’m off duty. If I talk to her about her driving and the safety of other road users or pedestrians who may be using the sidewalk, she’ll probably stop bringing him, and I don’t want that to happen. Hope looks at me with raised brows, and I roll my eyes, blowing out a frustrated breath.

“See ya, Donnelly. Good luck with the running club,” I call as he climbs into the car.

“Thanks, Ben. See ya, Ev.”

“Bye.” Evan waves to the retreating car.

Hope drags her keys out of her purse. “Well, Ev. We should get going. Thank Ben, please.”

I’m not ready to say goodbye.

Evan looks up at me. His entire face lit with happiness. “Thanks, Ben. I had the best day. Can I come back next time?”

I chuckle and muss his hair. “Sure. We’re here every other Saturday at the same time. You’re always welcome, and if you have any trouble getting here for one reason or another, call me. I’ll pick you up.” I hand him a slip of paper with my number on it.

“Oh, you don’t need to go to any trouble. There may be some Saturdays when his grandparents will have to bring him because he stays with them once a month. Other than that, I’ll be able to bring him.” I hook my thumbs through the loops of my jeans and rock back on my heels as I tuck that little piece of information away.

Evan drops to his knees and buries his face in the scruff of Rex’s neck. “Bye, Rex.” Rex’s tail swishes wildly, tipping his rump from side to side.

“Rex and I were going to enjoy some burgers on the back deck for lunch. Would you guys like to join us?” We really weren’t, but I’m not retracting the invitation.I don’t want to say goodbye. “I’m sure Rex would appreciate the company.”

Evan leaps to his feet with wide eyes. “Can we, Mom? Please say yes.”

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