Page 10 of Everlasting Love

Her eyes widen. “Sowwy, Mommy.”

“That’s okay. Come on, let’s rinse the soa?—”

“Can you two shut the fuck up? I’m trying to fucking sleep!” Allen shouts from our bedroom.

Jas’s head snaps up to me, her eyes wide and shimmering. I have to bite my tongue so I don’t tellhimto shut the fuck up. I don’t know how many times I’ve told him not to speak like that in front of our daughter. We finish rinsing the soap off quietly, and then I dry our hands, then take Jas to the kitchen to make her lunch. I slice half an apple, a small carrot, cucumber, and cheese and place them in a Bento box with some crackers for her along with a glass of milk.

I slide the items onto the table in front of her. “I just need to check on Daddy. Can you be a good girl and stay here for Mommy?”

Jas nods as she takes a slice of apple and a slice of cheese and pops them into her mouth. I stroke her soft hair and kiss the top of her head, then turn on my heel and head for my husband who’s finally awake. Stepping inside our bedroom, I close the door behind me, and when I turn around, Allen’s lying on his stomach, his head turned away from me. I take the four steps to the side of the bed and snap, “Don’t speak like that to me or our daughter again. I’ve told you that language is unacceptable around her.”

He rolls over and sits up, his face creased from the pillow but he looks pissed. “Maybe you should take your fucking precious daughter and get the fuck out. I’m sick and tired of being told what to do and what not to do. I’m a fucking man, not a child.”

I fold my arms across my chest as my blood boils. “Maybe you should act like afucking maninstead of a child. I’m not going anywhere. If you don’t like it,youleave.”

“This is my home!” he shouts. “Last I checked, I pay the fucking mortgage around here. And I can’t remember the last time you treated me like a man. Maybe if you sucked my dick occasionally, you’d remember who the boss is around here.”

I shudder at the thought of having any part of his body anywhere near me. “Why in the hell would I suck your disgusting dick when you’re sticking it God knows where at every opportunity?”

“Why do you think I go looking elsewhere? You spend all of your time with that fucking ugly brat out there,” he thrusts his arm toward the door, “and ignore me. I wish we’d never had that damn kid.”

He may as well have lunged a dagger straight into my heart. “You asshole,” I whisper, holding back the sting of tears. He can say whatever he likes about me, but he went too far when he brought Jas into it. “If we leave, we’re not ever coming back, so you think long and hard about what you’re saying to me.”

He looks up at the ceiling as if he’s thinking, then smirks at me. “Get the fuck out and take the brat with you.” When I don’t immediately move because I’m in shock that things have exploded like this, he shouts, “Get the fuck out, now!”

I move toward the door. “You’ll fucking regret this. I’m packing and then we’re outta here.”

“I won’t fucking regret it. What I regret is agreeing to have a kid with you; an ugly one at that. This is the best fucking decision I’ve made in a long time. I want you gone in the next two minutes or I’m gonna throw that ugly kid out the front door.”

“You were my biggest mistake,” I grit out and leave him in the bedroom. Closing the door quietly behind me, Ilean against the cool surface and catch my breath.Hold it together, Violet. Just get out of here and get to Mom and Cass. Then you can fall apart.I draw in a deep breath and blow it out, then repeat the process until I’m certain I won’t cry as soon as I see Jas.

Pasting on a smile, I head to the kitchen to collect my daughter. “I think we should go visit Gramma. What do you think?” I fake enthusiasm for my daughter’s sake.

She throws her little arms up in the air. “Yay! Wiw Poppy be there?”

“I’m pretty sure she will.” I grip her beneath her arms and swing her onto my hip. Grabbing my keys and purse, I head out the door and don’t look back.

Shaking myself out of the memory, I kiss Jas’s forehead and use my finger to smooth out the creases across her forehead. “How could he forget you? I think he’s just been busy.” She smiles at me, and it breaks my heart that I’ve just lied to my little girl but the alternative is unacceptable. I don’t want to break her heart. I never want her to know that she was cast aside by her father, but I need to come up with something better to say because as she grows older, that answer isn’t gonna fly. I kiss the tip of her nose. “Now, it’s time for sleep. Remember that I love you more than all of the wildflowers on the earth.”

She wraps her tiny arm around my neck and pulls me in close, rubbing her nose against mine. “I wove you, Mommy.”

And that. That right there is the best thing that’s happened to me today.

5

SHANE

“What time areyou coming over today?” I can practically hear the frown in Mom’s voice and picture the deep lines stretching across her forehead.

“I’m not sure if I can make it today.”

Mom’s sigh fills the line. “It’s your birthday. I would like to see myonlychild on his birthday.” She’s good at laying on the guilt—I guess she’s seasoned at it since she’s been doing it for years. She’ll be the only one in the house whowantsto see me on my birthday. Dad couldn’t give two shits. “I don’t ask for much.” I roll my eyes. “You know just as well as I do that we don’t know how many birthdays we have on this Earth.” Fuck! She’s pulled out the big guns now. Not that she realizes exactly what that comment means to me directly; it’s more about her losing her sister at a young age.

“All right.” I sigh. “I’ll be over …” I look at the time. “In an hour. Will that suit you?”

“Perfect.” Her voice brightens, and I can imagine the smile lighting up her face. “I’ll see you then.” I nod even though shecan’t see me and ready my finger to end the call. “Oh, and Shane.”

“Yeah?”

---