I reach down to the table next to him, snatch the TV remote, and switch it off. “Do I look like I care?”
“Watch who you’re talking to. This is my goddamn house and you’ll show me the respect I deserve.”
I scoff, shoving my hands on my hips. “Respect. You have no idea what respect is and I have zero … actually make that less than zero respect for you.”
His face turns red and he pushes the footrest of his chair down to stand. “Finally decided to grow a backbone?” He sneers.
“It’s been years and years of suppressing what I really feel to keep the peace for Mom. She’s prepared to put up with your ignorant, disrespectful bullshit and that’s her business. But I”—I strike my chest with my closed fist—“will not tolerate you showing any form of disrespect to my girls. I don’t fucking care what you’ve been through. You have no right to treat the people around you like they don’t matter.”
“You have no fucking clue what I’ve been through, you ungrateful piece of shit!” he shouts at me, spittle flying from his mouth. Finally, he’s saying how he really feels about me. “You think you can come intomyhome and speak to me like this? I’m your father.”
I scoff. “You’re my sperm donor. You checked out of your role as a father and husband a long time ago.” He was never there to guide me or offer his wisdom as a father should. I watched Toby with his dad and wished that mine was half the dad Mr. Summer was … still is.
He steps forward. “I’ve always provided for my family. You had a roof over your head”—he flings his arms around, wildly gesturing to the walls and ceiling—“and food on the table. And you have the gall to tell me I checked out. What more did you want, you ingrate?”
“You!” I bellow.How can he be so blind?“You showing some level of interest in your wife and son. Even a minor level of interest would have been better than what you gave us. You may have physically been here and you may have provided food and shelter, but you never gave usyou.” I point at him like I’m trying to stab him with my words. To wound him the way he’s wounded me.
“Me! There was nothing of me left when I came home and you and your mother just kept going along like my life hadn’t completely changed—you’d turned into a Mommy’s boy.” He sneers. “You were doing well enough without me, you didn’t care about me or what I’d been through. You spent more time out of this house than in it.Youmade it very clear that I didn’t matter to you.” He paces behind his chair and rests his hands on the back, his knuckles turning white, his chest rising and falling rapidly like he’s come back from a run. “I was just returning the favor and staying out of the way.”
“I was a fucking kid!” I seethe. “You talk about what you’d been through. Did you ever stop to think about what we’d been through here without you? We may not have been at war but we missed you. Mom was sick with worry about you more often than she wasn’t. She was so distracted with her concern for your safety; whether or not you would make it home that she’d forget to look after herself and me some days. I became her caregiver when she fell into a depression and couldn’t make it out of bed because you hadn’t written to her.” His eyes widen. “Yeah, you didn’t know about that. She did her best but some days she struggled. I was happy to help but I was a damn kid. You don’tthink that created a strong bond between us. You call me a Mommy’s boy like it’s the worst thing possible, but we only had each other. We didn’t have it as easy as you imagine,” I snap, my chest rising and falling with angry breaths.
He grips the back of his chair tightly, his lips thinning. “It’s not like I had a choice. I didn’t want to leave you and your mother, but every man in my family was expected to enlist and defend our freedoms. I couldn’t be the first one to break family expectations, to turn my back on the family tradition. I had to do my part to ensure you andyourchildren could enjoy freedom.” His voice softens and his shoulders slump and when I study him, he looks tired and defeated—much like I used to look.
I huff out a sarcastic laugh and run my hand through my hair. “And yet you forced the same expectation onto me.” He deflates a little more. “And just so you know, you’re not the only one who saw and did awful shit. I did too, but I’m doing my best to battle my demons and not wallow in them like you have.”
He scoffs. “You were on a peacekeeping mission. How fucking awful could it have been?”
With a heart full of anger and frustration, I spin around and raise my shirt over my head. When I hear his sharp gasp, I turn back around to face him, pulling the shirt back down as I do. “I fucking got blown up and when I woke I found out my best friend had died in the blast. Then I spent weeks in a German hospital getting patched back together. I was so fucking broken. Is that awful enough for you? You think you’re the only one who had terrible things happen, but you’re not. Wake the fuck up, old man, before you lose out on everything.” I storm out of the living room before he can respond.
I need to check on my girls and apologize to them. I need to make sure they’re all right. I knew bringing them here was a risk but I figured he’d just ignore them the same way he always ignores me. I never once expected to come to verbal blows withhim today. If I had, I would have come alone. I pause at the back door and calm my breathing. I don’t want to scare them.
The back door bangs closed and the girls turn toward me. Jas smiles and calls out, “Shane, look at how big your mommy’s tomatoes are!” The tension that had bunched in my shoulders releases knowing she’s okay after the way my father spoke. I make my way over to one of the sweetest kids I’ve ever met and crouch down where she is. Her little arm automatically wraps around my neck and I can breathe again. This little girl and her mom are everything right in my world. They make me want to be a better man. Better than my father. And for the first time ever, I think I actually will be better than my old man.
“Show me which one is the biggest.”
She tugs me around to the opposite side of the planter and points. “This one. It’s almost the size of Mommy’s hand.”
“It’s pretty big. That would be great in one of your salads.”
Jas nods with her eyes wide. “Uh-huh.”
Mom steps closer to where we are. “Why don’t you take that one home?”
“Oh, we grow our own tomatoes and have plenty,” Vi points out, but Mom plucks the tomato from the vine and hands it to Jasmine.
Jasmine’s eyes drop to the heavy tomato resting in her hands. “Thank you. I’ll add it to our dinner tonight. Do you want to come over?”
Mom chuckles. “Oh, thank you for the invitation but I need to make dinner for William.”
Jasmine’s face drops and creases form between her brows, then she looks back up at Mom as she twists her body side to side. “He could come, too, if you like.” After the way he just yelled at her, she still invites him into her sanctuary. I swear this kid is too good for this world.
Mom’s eyes grow glassy and she brings her hand up to cover her chest. She looks up at me and her lip trembles slightly, then drops her eyes back to Jas. “Oh, you’re too sweet. Maybe another time.” She bends down and presses a soft kiss to the top of her head. “How about we go inside and sing ‘Happy Birthday’ so we can have some birthday cake?”
“Yeah!” Jasmine’s mouth spreads wide. “I love birthday cake.”
While Mom guides Jas inside, I fall in beside Violet. “I’m sorry about my father.”
She smiles tightly at me. “Your mom already apologized. And honestly, neither of you should apologize for him. His behavior is all his own.”