Page 6 of Everlasting Love

I never thought my life would turn out like this. It should never have turned out like this. When I met Allen, I knew he wasa player and didn’t want anything to do with him. I kept blowing him off, but he persisted and was determined to prove to me that he’d changed his ways and had become a one-woman man. Boy, he fooled me. Never again will I fall for some man’s smooth charms. I’ve learned my lesson.

I climb the stairs and lay Jasmine on her bed, remove her shoes, and head into the bathroom for a washcloth to wipe away the stickiness of the ice cream. She’s going to have to miss out on brushing her teeth tonight because I refuse to wake her and then spend the next two hours trying to get her back to sleep. As I wipe her chubby cheeks and her sticky fingers, warmth and gratitude that she’s mine fill all the empty spaces inside of me. Allen may be an asshole of epic proportions but he gave me the best gift of my life. Equal parts of guilt and happiness war with each other that he doesn’t want to be involved in her life, and I won’t have to share her with him, and that she’s going to grow up without a father figure just like I did. I carefully slide a pull-up on since she didn’t go to the bathroom before she fell asleep, and then I change her into her pajamas. I run my finger gently along her soft cheek and kiss her forehead, then step out into the hallway to find Mom standing outside her door waiting for me.

“She’s out like a light,” I whisper.

Mom smiles softly. “Such a cherub.” She glances at the door and then hooks her arm through mine. “Come and have a cup of chamomile tea with me.”

We head downstairs and into the kitchen together where Mom already has the kettle boiling and two cups on the counter. “Isn’t Cass having tea?”

Mom shakes her head. “No. She wanted some time to snuggle with Poppy.” I grin because that’s probably what I’ll do when I finish tea with Mom. I love snuggling with my girl. Her first three years have gone by so fast, and I fear the time for snuggles will come to an end before I’m ready. She pours the hot waterinto the cups and carries them to the dining table. “I wanted to check on you. I know today had to be difficult.”

I study the woodgrain pattern of the table and think back to earlier. I felt like I’d been sucker punched in the gut while simultaneously having the rug pulled from beneath my feet. “I don’t understand how I was so blindsided. I knew he’d been cheating, but I guess I hadn’t expected him to move her into our home.” I trace my finger over the rim of my cup. “How did I not expect that?” I whisper, my throat clogged with pain and betrayal. “Why did I stay with him for so long and overlook his cheating?” Where the hell was my self-respect? I’m so disappointed in myself. I didn’t stand up for myselformy daughter. How did I let him treat me as less than for as long as I did?

Mom reaches over and gently lays her hand over mine. “Because you always like to think the best of people, Violet.”

“I wish I didn’t. Then I wouldn’t have been so surprised … and hurt.”

Mom’s gaze softens and she smiles sadly. “But then you wouldn’t be you.” She squeezes my hand. “And I wouldn’t want you to change because you’re perfect exactly as you are.”

My bottom lip quivers and the backs of my eyes sting. “Maybe I shouldn’t have focused so much of my attention on Jas. He felt neglected and looked elsewhere for the attention I wasn’t giving him. And judging by the clothes in the closet, he wanted someone more feminine.”

Mom tsks. “I know that’s what he said to you, honey, but that’s simply an excuse coming from an immature man who wasn’t getting his way.” I open my mouth to interrupt but Mom holds up her hand, shaking her head. “I don’t want to hear it, Violet. A mother’s focus needs to be on her baby, and the husband’s focus should be on caring for his family and supporting his wife. There’s no excuse. And as for beingfeminine, you needn’t worry about that. You’re plenty feminine, Vi. Don’t let that thought fester in your head.”

My argument dies, and my shoulders drop from around my ears. I know she’s right. I know there’s no excuse but I still wonder.

4

VIOLET

It may bea holiday for everyone else, but being an employee of a state park means I don’t get today off. The park will be busy, so it’s all hands on deck, so to speak. Walking into the busy office, I find everyone prepping to head out to their designated areas. Checking the map, I find the area my partner and I have been assigned to today and breathe a sigh of relief when I see we’ve been designated a section that isn’t quite as popular as other areas of the park. It’s also my favorite spot because the views are endless, and in the springtime, gorgeous wildflowers cover the area.

There isn’t a cloud in the sky today, so I slap on a layer of sunscreen, grab my radio, backpack, and medical kit and head back out to meet Tristan at our SUV. I love working with him. He and his wife had a baby boy two months ago, and I love watching his face light up whenever he talks about them. He is one proud husband and daddy, and he shows me there aresomemen in this world who dote on their partners and are selflessly dedicated to their families.

“Morning, Vi,” Tristan calls from the driver’s seat as I stow my stuff in the back. “Didn’t think you were gonna make it in time.”

I huff as I climb into the passenger seat. “It was tough getting out of bed today. Mom didn’t realize I had to work and kept Jasmine entertained quietly so I could sleep in. Which meant my little alarm clock didn’t wake me.” I put on my seatbelt and turn toward him. “I’m still waking up.”

He chuckles as he starts the engine, and we make our way slowly toward our section of the park, winding along the main road which snakes through the preserve. “Noah slept six hours last night, so I’m feeling refreshed and rejuvenated. I can’t remember the last time I had such a long stretch of uninterrupted sleep.”

“Probably about two months ago.” I wink at him. “I remember the first time Jasmine slept through the night like that. I woke in a panic thinking something was wrong with her.”

Tristan nods. “Yeah. I have to admit my heart was racing when I woke and saw the time. It didn’t go back to its normal rhythm until I knew he was okay.”

“But everything was okay, right?”

He glances at me and grins. “I wouldn’t be here if there was anything wrong.”

My heart melts. Of course he wouldn’t be here because his family comes first for him. Always. “So do you think this is the start of him sleeping through the night?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugs. “I’d like to think so but after watching my sister’s kids, I know their sleep patterns can change quickly at this age. I’m not getting my hopes up.”

I snicker. “Isn’t that the truth? Just when you think you have them worked out, they do something completely different.”

We fall into companionable silence as we travel toward our destination, and I take in the beauty of the park. Because todayis a holiday and we expect the park to be busy, we won’t be doing our usual monitoring tasks, instead, we’ll keep our eyes peeled for visitors who need help, directions, or just want to know a little more about the environment and local flora and fauna. I don’t enjoy days like these, even though I sometimes run school visits to educate kids about our indigenous flora and how introduced weeds affect our local plants and animals. I prefer to be observing, recording, and monitoring the native flora and the invasive species that have found their way into our beautiful park. Leading a project to remove weeds and plant more native species is one of my favorite parts of the job.

We pull up as close as we can to our spot for the day and climb out of the vehicle. Overhead, the familiar rasping scream of a red-tailed hawk pierces the air. Shielding my eyes, I look up to find it soaring elegantly above us. The mild fall breeze kisses my face, and I smile as I watch the hawk with wings outstretched.

So damn beautiful.

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