Page 39 of Everlasting Love

Glancing up along the pathway, I suck in a sharp breath when my eyes land on Violet. The woman is temptation incarnate on her worst day; I’m unsure how I’ll make it through today without mauling her when she looks as beautiful as she does right now. Her stunning China-blue eyes connect with mine as I hold her daughter in my arms, and one side of her lips tilts up as she winks at me. She’s sexy as fuck in a dress that highlights her athletic frame. The long slit up the front of her right leg affords me a glance of her toned thigh. Her tanned flesh begging for my hand to glide up along the smooth skin, followed by my tongue until I reach its apex.

Shaking my head, I remind myself I can’t go down that road with her—I need to keep us in the friend zone, even if it’s a struggle to remember to do so. She shouldn’t be tainted by the darkness that’s festered inside of me as a result of my time away. She’s already been treated like shit and deserves to find a man who’s whole and can be everything to her and Jasmine. Someonebetter thanme.

I clench my jaw at the thought of someone else having the privilege to touch her. To kiss her. To love her. I look at Jasmine in my arms, and my gut sinks to think of her giving someone else her unconditional trust. What if they’re undeserving of Violet and Jasmine? What then?

In a way, I’ve come to think of them as mine.

Violet makes it to the altar and this close, she looks even more beautiful if that’s possible. I suck in a sharp breath, and I work to strengthen my defenses. I’ve managed to keep myself in check for this long, I can maintain it for today.I hope.

“Hi,” she murmurs, her eyes dancing between me and her daughter.

“Hey. You look beautiful, Blue.”Probably not a good idea to use her nickname.

Her cheeks flush a pretty shade of pink and her eyes drop away from mine for a moment. “Thanks. You look … amazing.” And that part of me that I’ve tried to lock away puffs out his chest that she likes what she sees when she looks at me. I doubt she would feel the same if she saw the real me.

She reaches across to fetch her daughter, but Jas clings tightly to my neck. I’m already sweating bullets in this suit and having her cling to me adds a couple of degrees of heat, but there’s no way I’m going to make her let go. I’ll hold her through the entire ceremony if that’s what she wants. “She’s okay with me.”

“You’re sure?”

I nod. “Yeah.”

Violet kisses Jas’s cheek, and I get a whiff of her soft scent. She winks at me when she pulls away, then takes up her position on the opposite side of the altar. Cass joins us, and then the civil celebrant begins speaking and Toby and Cass exchange their vows, but I’m not listening to a word. For some reason, my mind won’t let go of the idea of me and Vi doing the same thing.

Creating a family together. Building a life. A beautiful life where I’m a better father than mine ever was. And I allow myself a moment to dream a little—imagining Vi round with my baby and spending weekends going hiking while she studies the plants and Jas splashes in the streams.

The civil celebrant asks for the rings, bringing my mind back to the present, and I shake the dreams and wishes away as I hand each ring to the bride and groom.

I grabanother beer at the bar and that’s when I sense her. She’s been everywhere I am today, and my control is wearingworryingly thin. I’m certain she purposely brushes against me as she leans against the otherwise empty bar to order a drink, testing my resolve. “They’re so happy,” she whispers.

I glance across in the direction she’s looking. “Yep. They deserve it. Toby’s been so far gone for Cassia for a long time. He has to be the happiest man on Earth today, knowing he finally has her.”

I drop my gaze to her; the woman who’s taken up permanent residence in my mind she may as well have a key. A wistful expression blankets her face as she leans her back against the bar. “I want that. I thought I had it, but looking at Toby and Cassia, I realize I didn’t even have a smidgeon of it.”

My heart stops. “What do you mean? Surely you were happy at some point.”

“Yeah, I guess. But not on such a deep level.” She tilts her chin toward her sister and new brother-in-law. “Not like that. It was never like that.” She swipes at her cheek, and I notice a few tears have escaped.

I place my beer on the counter, take her hand in mine, and lead her away from the bar and prying eyes. Nobody needs to see Cassia’s sister crying at her wedding. I drag her outside the tent and down to the dock, so she can have her tears in private. As soon as her feet make contact with the wooden planks, she breaks down with her arms wrapped around her middle like some type of shield. She stands with the city lights shimmering across the water in front of her, her body trembling. Her loneliness and pain call to mine, and I can’t leave her to cry alone so I pull her into me, trapping her arms between us as I wrap mine around her. I drop my lips to the top of her head, soaking up the softness of her hair and the wildflower scent she always seems to have.

She tilts her head back to look up at me, the tears in her eyes shimmering in the moonlight. I don’t know what possessesme, but I drop my head closer to hers. Our gazes lock for a long moment. I desperately want to close the distance and take that first kiss but I need to hold onto my last shred of restraint. She presses up and our lips meet for the first time in a soft swipe, sending sparks pulsing through my body like an electrical current. Her lips are softer than I ever imagined, and when her tongue darts out and slides against my closed mouth, I groan at the sensuality of it. Taking advantage, she slides her tongue inside my mouth and I work to hold myself still—she’s more courageous than me. Her tongue slides against mine, allowing me to experience her taste and it’s exquisite—better than anything I could have imagined.

But I can’t reciprocate. If I do, I’ll take her here against the damn boat shed and she deserves more than that. A hell of a lot more.

Violet pulls away, her eyes narrowed as she looks at me. “Kiss me back, Shane.”

“No,” I grunt like a damn Neanderthal. It’s like her kiss has stolen my ability to communicate like a man. I draw my hips away from her body so she can’t feel what her bravery’s done to me.

She presses in, touching her lips to mine more firmly. The minx is determined to get me to give in, but I won’t. I push her shoulders back slightly.

I fucking can’t.

She draws back again. “But I want you to,” she whispers harshly, annoyance in her tone. “Ineedyou to. Kiss me.”

“No.” I shake my head to make my point.

“Don’t make me beg, Shane. I’ve been emotional all day, and I’m vulnerable and horny right now and I want you. I need you to want me too.” She exhales a harsh breath.

I can’t admit to her that Idowant her. It will be the invitation she’s looking for to take things further between us. I’ve alreadylet it go too far and I’m too messed up for her. I like a good fuck as much as the next guy, but she’s not the woman you fuck and walk away from.

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