Page 92 of Moonlit Kisses

“It’s what the night sky at the beach looked like the night you proposed to me.” I hold my breath, waiting for his response.

His eyes widen as he studies the map. “Fuck. This is incredible. We need to get one done for when we get married and every time one of our kids is born. We can make a wall of these babies.” He leans forward, cupping the back of my head, and pulls me into him and we meet halfway. I open immediately, welcoming him eagerly.

I love kissing this man.

“I’m relieved you like it. I was worried you’d think it was pointless.” I point my chin toward the bag. “You’ve got something else in the bag.”

He dips his hand in, pulling out the small box. He glances up at me and then tugs at the paper to open the box. He studies the contents for a long time, then glances up at me. Holding up the keyring I had specially made, he asks, “Are you serious? This is my car. How did you do this?”

“It’s from a little store on Etsy. I managed to get a rush order at short notice.”

He’s wobbling his head from side to side as though he can’t believe I got him something for his birthday. “These gifts are really thoughtful. Thank you so much.” He wiggles his eyebrows up and down and stands, holding his hand out to me. “Allow me to show you how much I love these gifts.”

My lady parts flutter in delight. I’m about to get very lucky.

* * *

I wipe my sweaty hands down my jeans. My heart feels like it’s going to beat right through my rib cage. Max wanted to come with me, but I needed to do this on my own. I needed to prove that I can still deal with things that may be difficult by myself. That I haven’t become completely dependent on Max. I knock on the door and hear little claws scratching on the floor before tiny barks greet me through the door. Footsteps sound and then I hear, “Shhh, shhh, Christian.”

The lock disengages as the dog continues to bark. Surprised blue eyes so much like Mom’s greet me above a wiggling gray ball of fur. “Oh, Molly. This is a wonderful surprise.” She steps away, then returns with a key to unlock the screen door. “Please come in. I’m thrilled to see you.”

She steps to the side, allowing me inside her home. When Beth gave me Joanna’s address and phone number, she also gave me some information which made my decision to visit easier. I want to get to knowallof my family. Life’s too short to miss out on opportunities. “I hope you don’t mind me dropping by unannounced.”

“Not at all. I’m just so happy that you have.” She leads me through to a sitting room that overlooks a common area in the middle of the unit complex. My eyes catch on a large photo of Mom hanging in a prominent position on the wall. She notices me gawking and gives me a small smile. “Nicole was such a beautiful girl. So spirited and full of life.” Her smile turns sad.

She offers me a drink and then sets about making it while the little gray fur ball acquaints himself with me. He’s absolutely adorable. His name seems very formal, though. Joanna returns with cups of coffee on a tray and what appears to be homemade shortbread. “Would you like some?”

“Thank you.” I point down at her little dog, which has finally settled on his bed, huffing out a sigh and dropping his head to his little paws, his ears still twitching. “Your dog is cute.”

Her eyes drop to him, and she smiles. “I always wanted to have a dog, but my husband would never agree. The place I lived in when I first left him didn’t allow pets. I finally saved up enough to buy this place fifteen years ago and one of the first things I did was get a rescue. Unfortunately, that dog passed away and then I got Christian. I named him after one of my favorite book characters.” The connection dawns on me, and I’m certain my eyes are as wide as saucers. Does that mean my grandmother has readFifty Shades of Grey? “Have you read the books?” she asks with eyes full of mischief, reminding me of Mom when she was sharing exciting news with me.

I shake my head, my voice mute for a moment. “Uh, no. Can’t say I have.” The awkwardness I felt earlier has increased tenfold, knowing my grandmother reads soft porn. I don’t know whether to feel mortified or proud. I mean good on her, I guess. Perhaps I should introduce her to Rhonda. They could compare book boyfriends. I giggle internally at the idea of Rhonda with her bright pink hair swooning over book boyfriends with my grandmother, who appears to be as proper as a minister’s wife.

I came here to apologize for my behavior when we first met. Once I calmed down, I was mortified at how I had run out of the house and left Max to deal with the aftermath. It was unfair and probably not the best first impression to give my grandmother. I take a sip of my coffee to soothe my dry throat and draw in a deep breath for fortitude. “Uh, I … I, uh, owe you an apology.”

Her posture softens. “Oh, Molly. You don’t owe me anything at all. It’sIwho oweyouan apology. I should have fought harder, stood up to my husband. I never should have allowed him to speak to Nicole the way he did. I believe she ran away because of what he said to her. Because of his threats.” A loud sob escapes. “I’m so sorry, Molly. I let my daughter down, and I let you down.” She covers her face with both hands and the urge to comfort this stranger is strong.

I move to the cushion next to her, wrapping my arm around her shoulder. Beth told me that Joanna left her husband, my grandfather, not long after Mom ran away. She blamed him and his demand for an abortion for losing Mom. I’m not sure I’d be sitting here if she were still with him, because I don’t think I could get past the way he spoke to Mom.

He didn’t want me.

How could I possibly forge a relationship with the man?

The idea is impossible.

I’m not sure what I can say to make things better for Joanna. Do I accept her apology? But to me, that would mean I blame her. And deep down, I don’t. I’ve been thinking about the whole situation a lot since I moved here. And I mean a lot!

I love Mom and I’ll forever be on her side no matter what, because ultimately, she thought she was doing the right thing. The choices she made were to protect me because she wanted me. But … now I’ve heard the other side of the story and I’ve learned that maybe if Mom had taken a few days to let things settle instead of reacting so quickly, things probably would have turned out very differently. Which means some of the responsibility has to fall on her shoulders and it makes me wonder if she ever doubted the choices she made? Did she ever consider going home? Is it possible she realized her mistake, but was too proud to return to her family and friends?

I understand being prideful. After all, I get that trait from her.

“Joanna.” She removes her trembling hands from her face, revealing tear-stained cheeks and puffy red eyes. “The entire situation was unexpected and messy. Things were said and choices were made. Were they the best choices?” I shrug. “Maybe, maybe not. But they were the choices made at the time in the heat of the moment. We can’t go back and change anything and, to be honest, I wouldn’t want to. Was life difficult as a result? Yes, it was. I’m not gonna lie or sugarcoat things.” I give my grandmother a small smile of reassurance. “But life was also great. Mom and I had a bond that not all mothers and daughters share.” A boulder forms in my throat as I think about Mom and I have to swallow it down so I can continue.

“We were close, and our love for each other was unbreakable. Not once did I ever question how important I was to her or how much she loved me. She always, always put me and my needs first. Even though we couldn’t afford a traditional home, she always made sure I had nutritious food, even if it meant going without herself. Then Mom met Jack.” I smile as I remember meeting him for the first time.

“He was the best man you could hope your daughter and granddaughter to have in our lives. He was kind and generous to both of us. From the beginning, he treated me as if I were his flesh and blood. And then Ethan came along.” And my heart cracks a little, as it does whenever I think of him, and a life cut too short. “I wouldn’t wish for a life where I’d never had him. So, maybe things didn’t turn out the way you maybe hoped they would, but we had a good life.”

She takes my free hand in both of hers. “I hope you can forgive me, though.”

---