Page 84 of Moonlit Kisses

Martin prepares drinks while Beth collects a tray of pre-dinner snacks and guides us out to a covered deck with an outdoor heater for the cooler evening. Everything is immaculate, nothing is out of place, and nothing looks worn or misused. It’s like one of the homes you see on TV.

My clothes feel cheap and uncomfortable and I suddenly feel itchy. Like I don’t belong here. Max senses my discomfort and reaches across to lay his hand on my thigh, settling my nerves.

Beth leans forward in her chair. “I believe congratulations are in order.” My eyebrows draw down low in confusion. Her eyes flick down to my left hand, then back up to me. “Your engagement.” She holds her hand out, asking with her eyes to look at my ring. I lift my hand, allowing her to admire the gorgeous seal of our promise. “It’s beautiful, Molly. Max made the perfect selection because it suits you.”

“Oh, thank you.” I look at Max. “It was a surprise. A really great surprise.” Max lifts my hand and kisses my palm, easing some of my nerves.

“Any idea when you’ll get married?” Beth asks.

I hadn’t even thought about the actual wedding. Somehow, I skipped over that part and went straight to being married.

“As soon as possible.” Max blurts and I stare at him in surprise. I’m certain I appear completely startled.

Beth giggles. “Well, if you need any help, I’m a wedding planner so it’s kinda my thing.”

Martin turns his head toward his wife, his face full of pride. “She’s always booked out well in advance because she’s one of the best in the city.”

She waves him off. “It doesn’t matter how busy I am, I can help you any way you need. Just shout out.” She takes a sip of her wine and offers us a wink.

I tuck a loose lock of hair behind my ear. “Thank you. That’s very kind of you to offer.”

She stands from the table. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to put the finishing touches to dinner. I hope you’re hungry.”

I stand to help, but she tells me to stay where I am, leaving Max and me with Martin. Who has barely spoken since we arrived.

He clears his throat, now that it’s only the three of us. “Uhm, Molly. I wanted to start out with an apology.” This is unexpected. He already apologized to me at lunch and I accepted it. “Actually, I have several apologies to make.” He draws in a deep breath and releases it slowly. “I’m sorry for abandoning you and Nicole back when she told me she was pregnant. It’s something I’ve always regretted and it’s something I have no excuse for. I was young and stupid and selfish and I will go to my grave regretting my choice back then.”

A boulder has formed in my throat and I’m having a tough time swallowing around it. Max reaches across and takes my hand, squeezing it in reassurance.

Martin glances at Max and then returns his apologetic gaze to me. “I’m also sorry for being pushy in my eagerness to insert myself into your life. I had no business bulldozing my way into your life and expecting that I could be your father, purely based on the fact that biology makes you mine. It takes more than sperm to make a man a father and I need to give you time to get to know me and for us to find our way forward in this new reality. I only hope you can open your heart to the possibility of a relationship with me. And with Holly, Noah, and Beth.”

Saliva fills my mouth and that familiar stinging at the back of my eyes is becoming too much. I blink rapidly, doing my best to maintain my composure.

“The last thing I want to apologize for is how my choices impacted on your life.” He gives me a sad smile and I glance up at his eyes, looking for his pity, but it’s not there. All I see is hurt and sorrow. “Molly. I was devastated all over again when Beth told me about your childhood living arrangements. I can’t help but feel responsible for all of it. If I’d been more mature … a better man … anything, your life would have turned out differently.”

I lose the battle and the tears burst forth on a sob. It’s like my heart’s been split down the middle with an ax and I can’t get enough oxygen into my lungs. Max’s arms come around me, pulling me into his warm body. I rest my ear against his heart, listening to the steady rhythm as I work to calm myself. Thank God he’s here.

“I … I’m sorry, Molly. I didn’t mean to upset you,” Martin whispers.

“It’s okay, Martin.” The vibration of Max’s voice touches my ear as he calmly strokes my hair and reassures Martin.

How do I explain these tears aren’t because I’m angry or hurt, it’s because I needed him to acknowledge his mistakes so I could move forward? These tears are full of relief that he’s owned up to his choices, and he’s taken responsibility for them, even though some of them were technically out of his control.

“Oh, dear. What’s going on out here?” Beth’s voice breaks the silence.

I pull away from Max and wipe my eyes. “I promise I’m okay. Sorry about that. Do you have a bathroom where I can clean myself up?”

“Of course, follow me.”

I clean up and when I come back out, Martin, Beth, and Max have moved to the table where dinner has been served. Roast chicken with all the trimmings. I love roast chicken. It was something we rarely had because it’s so expensive, but Mom always made sure to have it for my birthday after we started living with Jack. As I sit, I promise myself that I’m going to enjoy this meal and I won’t become swamped with memories—it’s not fair to everyone else if I’m always breaking down into tears.

Martin and Beth serve us and the first few moments are quiet as we all dig into the delicious meal. The chicken tastes different to the way Mom cooked it. It’s got more of a smokey flavor to it. “This is delicious. Thank you for going to so much trouble.”

Beth waves off my compliment. “It was no trouble. It’s a family staple in this house. One of Holly’s favorite meals.”

I smile at her and it’s genuine and full of hope. “It’s my favorite, too.” Beth smiles, appearing pleased at her choice of meal. These small connections are giving me hope that I’ll be able to forge strong relationships with my new family.

As we eat dinner, Martin and Beth glance at each other, then their eyes land on me. “I’ve got a funny story to share about Nicole, Beth, and me if you’d like to hear it?”

---