Page 93 of Stolen Kisses

“I can feel pressure, but not much else.”

“To be expected. I’m happy with the healing of your scars. When it’s time to do the implants, I’ll be opening your breasts at a small section along these same lines,” she gently runs her finger across the angry red line, “so you won’t have any additional scarring to your breasts.” She applies gentle pressure to my back, encouraging me to lean forward. “How are these feeling here at the back?”

I shrug. “Okay, I guess. It feels a little weird when I use my hand to push myself up out of a chair. The muscle tightens at the front, which I’m not used to.”

Dr. Corrigan smiles at me. “Yes, I’ve heard that takes a little time to get used to. How’s the discomfort?”

“They actually cause me more discomfort than my breasts, to be honest. If it gets too bad, I take some pain relief.” Theo’s watching and listening to everything intently.

She nods. “Good. You know your body and what you can handle. Don’t be afraid to use the pain relief we gave you at the hospital.”

I look down at my scars. They’re still pretty angry looking. “How long before the scarring settles down?”

“I wouldn’t worry about them at the moment, because a smallsection will beopened again for the follow-up surgery. At that point, you’ll be able to use an ointment to reduce the appearance of the scars once they’ve properly closed.”

Theo’s sitting on a chair on the opposite side of the room, watching the doctor closely as she completes her checks. “What ointment do you recommend, Doctor?”

Dr. Corrigan looks at Theo. “I always recommend starting with a product which prevents the skin from drying out straight out of surgery. Something likeAquaphorto keep the wound moist, then moving ontoMedihoneyfor its antibacterial properties which supports the body’s natural healing processes.” She looks back at me. “We can do some fine needling as the healing progresses,which should help to reduce the scarring considerably. But that is entirely up to you.”

I nod as Theo types something into his phone, then tucks it back into his pocket. “Can we start using that for the scars on Emma’s back?”

“Sure. You can skip theAquaphorat this point and start using theMedihoneyany time you’re ready. Though the earlier you begin the treatment, the better chance you have of minimizing the scarring.” She steps over to the counter, collecting a marker and a small gadget which she slides over the top of my breast. “This little gadget helps me to locate the valve in the expander, so I know where to inject the saline.”

“Oh, that’s pretty cool.”

“Yeah, it is. There’s a magnet inside at the location of the valve. This helps to locate it, so I can direct the needle to exactly the rightposition.” She marks a dot on each breast where the valve must be. Then she puts on gloves and uses a swab to clean the area, followed by an alcohol wipe.

“I need to make sure thearea’scompletely sterile. We don’t want the needle transferring germs from the surface of the skin to the inside of your body. That may lead to an infection and delay the whole process, not to mention affect your scarring.”

I’m glad she’s explaining everything as she works because I had no idea what to expect today. I have to go through this process several times before I’ll be ready for the actual permanent implants.

Dr. Corrigan picks up a syringe and carefully places the tip on my breast where she marked the skin. “I’m going to give you fifty CCs of saline in each expander today, taking you up to three hundred and fifty CCs on each side. You’ve still got a bit of swelling, so I don’t want to increase the volume too much today. You’ll notice pressure as we fill the expanders each week, until you reachsix hundred and fiftyCCs on eachside, making you smaller than your original size as you requested. They’ll begin to feel quite heavy and hard, which is all normal. I’ve been told they become incredibly uncomfortable, so be prepared. Okay?”

“Okay.” With all of the information I’ve been given since I was first diagnosed, I have to concentrate hard to make sure I remember everything she’s saying. Dr. Corrigan pulls out the syringe, picking up another one and moving across to my other breast. Looking at Theo, I can’t miss his wince as the doctor inserts the needle. “I can’t feel a thing. This whole area is completely numb.” I smile at him, trying to show him that I’m okay.

“It takes several months for sensation to return after such a major disruption to the nerves, but itwillcome back.” She finishes up, placing the needles in a sealed sterile container and removing her gloves. “All done. You can get dressed. Keep doing what you’re doing and I’ll see youin twoweeks.”

“Thanks, Doctor.”

She leaves the room and Theo passes my clothes to me. I watch him carefully as I redress. He hasn’t said much throughout both doctor’s visits, but I can tell he’s taking in every scrap of information. Guiding me out of the surgery, we climb into his truck.

“Do you mind if we stop at the pharmacy to grab some of thatMedihoney? I’ll start rubbing the ointment on the scars on your back tonight.” He starts his truck, pulling out of the parking lot.

My plan has always been to do whatever I could to minimize the scars. I don’t want them to be hideous or a constant reminder of this time in my life. But I have to wonder why Theo’s so eager to get started? Does it mean he can’t stand looking at my scars? Are they the reminder I feared they’d be?

“Uh, sure. But I can manage the treatment on my own.” I turn away, looking out of my window, so I don’t have to look at him.

“Hey. Look at me, please.” Theo’s voice is firm, demanding. I turn to look at him without hesitation. “The scars don’t bother me in the least. I saw the wayyoulooked at them in the mirror.” He grasps my hand. “I know you don’t like them. That seeing the scars upsets you. I want to help you through the healing process, so you can look at yourself in the mirror and feel at least somewhat happy with what you see reflected. I want you to see the beautiful, sexy woman that I see. That I’ll always see when I look at you.”

My shoulders drop in relief as the truthfulness of his words is reflected in his eyes. Placing my other hand on top of his, I squeeze his hand. “Thank you.”

We stop at the pharmacy and then head home. Theo’s got an order he needs to work on. He won’t admit it, but I think he’s running behind with his work because he’s been looking after me, driving me to and from my appointments as well as looking after the kids when they finish school. Then he makes dinner for all of us, while I help the kids with their homework. It feels great to havehissupport at home; to work together as a team.

I’ve never haditbefore.

When I was married to Preston, we both worked the same hours, but I would be the one to come home and cook dinner, do the washing, and clean the house. I was lucky if he cut the freaking grass. Once the kids came along, I stopped working, and then I was expected to do absolutely everything. Including getting up all night for feedsas well aseverything in the garden.

Once the kids are in bed, Theo sends me for a shower while he cleans up downstairs. Sitting on the side of the bed, I rub moisturizer into my legs, which I finally got around to shaving. At least they’d gone past the spiky stage, so they weren’t scratching Theo’s legs to bits.

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