Page 76 of Stolen Kisses

He showed me photos of his kids yesterday, so I return the favor today, showing himthe photosI’ve got of Kenny on my phone. “She’s a cute kid. You actually look as though you could be her father.”

“She looks a lot like my sister and my sister and I looked a lot alike. We both take after our father.” I finish up with my drink. “How did you go with ordering the bricks for the path?”

“Great, they’re delivering them tomorrow.”

“That was quick. I’ll hopefully get most of the ramps finished today, then I can start on the paving once they arrive.”

I get to work and Bruce leaves to visit with his wife. He generously leaves the door unlocked so I can use the bathroom while he’s gone. I remove the existing banister on the steps, then work out the levels Ineed to startwith, ensuring that the timber will sit flush with the existing levels to make it easy for the wheelchair. I measure, double-check the measurements, cut, drill, screw, and hammer my way through the construction of the frame, joists, decking, and railing. The last thing I need to do is concrete the posts into the ground. I’m happy with how it turned out. It has a gentle slope which I think the elderly couple will be able to manage with ease.

I always feel a sense of accomplishment when I complete a project. But none more so than when I help someone out; knowing I’ve made their life a little easier.

–fifteen–

–emma–

What a way to startmy 39th year of life.Happy birthday, Emma!

I couldn’t even relax and enjoy my 38th birthday last night with my family. Standing in front of my mirror, I study my breasts, something I’ve done repeatedly since finding out I have breast cancer.

I have breast cancer.

Even in its least intrusive form, I feel as though my body has been invaded. I press and push, moving them this way and that. I can’t see what’s going on inside, so I have to trust the imaging and biopsy results that say therearecells in my body that need to be removed.

I work my way through the simple exercises I’ve been doing in preparation for my surgery. I study the side of myleft breast. It’s already feeling so much betteras a result ofthe manual lymph drainagemassage I’ve been having. I won’t be able to have it again until after things settle down with my breasts, but that’s okay. I need to concentrate on one thing at a time anyway.

Carrying my overnight bag downstairs, I make sure everything is ready for my sister to stay for thetime I’m in the hospitalso she can look after my boys. Mom and Dad offered to have them stay there, but Sarah wanted to stay here with them, so they could sleep in their own beds andmaintaintheir routine. She’s been such terrific support for me these last months. I don’t know what I would have done without her shoulder to cry on. First over my stupidity with Theo and then finding out that I needed to have a bilateral mastectomy. I know they’re just boobs and they’ll be reconstructed … it’s more the thought that I have cancer growing inside of me and I had no idea it was happening. It’s scary to think and wonder about what’s happening inside my body that I can’t see. I’m still so mad at myself for not seeing the doctor sooner when I noticed what was happening at the side of my breast. Maybe if I’d done something sooner, it wouldn’t have come to this. I don’t know.

I kept theboyshomewith me today—I needed to have them close since I won’t see them for a few days. I’m not sure I want them to visit me in the hospital,I’m not sure I want them to see me at my worst. I have to be at the hospital mid-morning because I need to have the sentinel node test before they operate late this afternoon. It’s quite a lengthy procedure, butMom and Dad are going to take me to the hospital and wait until I come out of surgery to make sure everything’s okay.

While I’m in the hospital they’ll pick the boys up from school and stay with them until Sarah gets home from work. We worked out the logistics of everything the day I was booked in for surgery.

I don’t know why I’m startled when there’s a knock at the front door, I know it’s Sarah with Mom and Dad. “Boys, Aunty Sarah’s here with Nana and Poppa.” I lay my hand across my stomach to quell the nervous butterflies as I open the door. I put on my best smile, but it’s watery at best.

“Morning.” Sarah breezes in, kissing me on the cheek before bending down ready to catch Austin as he runs straight for her. They both giggle as their bodies collide.

Lachlan comes around the corner. “Hello, Aunty Sarah. Nana. Poppa. How are you today?” He gives each person a small wave as he greets them.

“We’re good, Lachlan.” They move inside hugging and kissingme and my boysin our usual greeting. I look out of the closed screen door to see Max breaching the final step to my porch.

“I wasn’t expecting you.” Max hasn’t really said much since this whole situation started, but I’m guessing since he’s here, he must be a little concerned. He tends to hold his feelings close to his chest.

He takes me in a bear hug, rocking us side to side. As he kisses the top of my head, I absorb his love for me and his quiet strength. “Where else would I be? I thought I could help Sarah look after the boys while you’re in the hospital.” It’s then I notice the duffle at the bottom of the steps.

“Are you staying over as well?” I really shouldn’t be surprised. He’s always been there for me whenever I’ve needed him. I see today’s no different. Warmth fills my body at his steady support.

“Yeah. That okay?” Creases form between his brows as he looks at me.

“Absolutely, but I’ll need to make up the spare bed before I go and I don’t think I made enough dinner for tonight and—”

He cuts me off. “Stop stressing. Sarah and I will work it all out.” He squeezes me tight, then steps out to collect his bag.

“What about Mona?” She can’t be happy to have him abandon her whilehe looks after my boys.

He shrugs. “What I do isn’t her concern anymore. I broke it off with her last week.”

I feel awful that I didn’t know. I’ve been so caught up in my own drama that I missed something that had to have been huge for Max. I place my hand on his arm. “Youokay?”

“Yeah. It hasn’t been working between us for a while. I’m not what she wants anymore. I’m okay with it.” He smiles at me. “I actually feel better than I have in a long time. So don’t worry about me. Now, where are those boys of yours?”

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