Page 61 of Stolen Kisses

Before I can make it two steps, he’s in front of me. Eyes blazing. The pulse point at his throat is hammering a fast staccato. He looks ready to explode. “That’s allI was good for, hey? The orgasms?”

Hurt radiates from him, bouncing between us. “You’re the one in a hurry to leave. Something changed. I don’t know what it was, but you can’t even look at me.” I blink quickly, trying to keep the stinging tears building at bay.

“I need to get to Kenny.”

“Something happened before that.” I throw my arm out. “But go. Go get Kenny and I’ll see you ’round. I guess.” I step around him, closing myself in my bathroom. Resting my head against the bathroom door, I hold my breath, listening for movement. The tears that I was working to hold back, drop over my lashes. “God, I’m stupid,” I whisper to no one.

–twelve–

–theo–

Ihaven’t seen Emma sinceI left her locked in her bathroom. IknowI acted like adick. IknowI wasn’t being rational or fair to her, but I couldn’t be around her after finding that lump. The way she shrugged it off like it’s nothing. Maybe itisnothing, but it might be something and she just brushed it off without a second thought. In the split second that I was looking at the raised area, my mind instantly went to Mom and Anna. The memories swamped me. Overwhelmed me. The need to protect myself and Kenny from yet another loss was all-encompassing. It was all I could think aboutandI went into self-preservation mode.

I couldn’t be next to her.

I couldn’t even look at her.

With every second I remained in her presence, fissures began to form on my heart and I had to get away.

It’s been tough not seeing her every day. Watching from my window, crippled by my own anxiety, as she cuts her own grass, plays with her boys, and generallygoesabout her life as though I were never part of it. Kenny still sees her each day; Emma waits at the end of my driveway while the boys collect my girl to take her to the park.

It’s notonlyher I’ve missed. I’ve missed the boys. Particularly working with Lachlan in the workshop. He loves working with timber, creating new pieces with me, and Ienjoyhaving him work alongside me. I’m sure he’s also missing working with the timber, so I dropped off a porch table a few days ago along with the sanding block he’d need.

“Uncle Theo!” Kenny runs into my room, jumping on top of me, forcingthe air out of my lungs. “It’s my birthday! I’m five!” She holds up one hand proudly, fingers spread wide.

I catch her around her waist, pulling her down so I can lay a kiss on her forehead. “Happy birthday, Munchkin.”

I throw her up in the air a little and catch her, reveling in her little girl squeals of delight. As she drops down, I catch her as her little foot lands a kick to my groin. I squeeze my legs together to stifle the sharp pain, while stars form around the edge of my vision. Isuckin a breath, collect myself, then proceed to tickle the birthday girl. I don’t want her to realize she hurt me, she would want to kiss my boo-boo better and that wouldn’t be appropriate.

“Come on. Get up. You need to give me presents.” She scrambles off of my bed, making a run for the door.

“Presents?” I furrow my brow, making sure I look completely confused.

She freezes in place, then turns around to me, tilting her head to the side. “Yeah. You know you’res’posedto give me presents on my birthday. Right?” My heart jumps as she finally pronounces the letter ‘R’. Emma did that. She’s been working incidentally with Kenny on her speech. Kenny hasn’t even realized that’s what they’ve been doing, but it’s finally worked. I’m gutted that she wasn’t here to hear her hard work pay off for herself.

Climbing out of bed, I smile at my niece. I rub my beard, carrying on the charade. “About that. You know how I’ve been really busy? I haven’t had time to get to the store.” Her shoulders droop. “Maybe I can get you something next week?”

She looks at me, her brows furrowed down, her bottom lip jutting out. “Is’posethat’s okay.” She turns, leaving my room. I sort of feel bad for playing with her, but I guess the prankster in me never actually went away. I used to play pranks on Anna all the time. Now that I have Kenny, I can carry on the tradition.

I call out to her retreating back, “Go get dressed, I’ve got a treat planned for breakfast.” I throw on some clothes, grabbing the letter I pulled out of the box last night for Kenny. Running my fingers across Anna’s feminine script, my heart hammers in my chest when I think of her writing whatever’s inside. Stuffing the letter in my back pocket, I compose myself, meeting my girl in her bedroom as she’s looking through the clothes in her drawers.

“What should I wear?”

“Wear your favorite dress. It’s a special day, so you should wear your most special dress.”

“Yeah. Good idea.” She races across to her closet, moving her little dresses from one side to the other. “This one! Mommy bought this one for me. It was too big before.”

I help her get it down, fighting the lump in my throat. I wonder if Anna bought it for Kenny to wear for her birthday. She seems to have thought of everything else. Kenny gets dressed and I brush her hair, tying the top half of it back, just the way Emma showed me. I wonder if Emma will still bring the boys over later for the small party we organized.

Shit!She was going to make the birthday cake. Maybe I should pick one up while we’re out. Just in case.

“C’mon, Munchkin. Let’s get this birthday started!” We high-five each other as we head downstairs.

* * *

Dad’s already waiting in the parking lot when we arrive atPancake Paradise. Kenny spots him immediately, wriggling in her seat with excitement. “Pappoús’shere, too.” She says it as though it’s a coincidence that he’s here, making me laugh.

Dad walks over, helping Kenny out of her booster seat. “Happy birthday, Kenny-girl!” He swings her up in the air, eliciting little girl giggles from her and a grin from me. I think he sometimes forgets he’s 67.