Page 88 of Reclaiming Home

He slinked into the kitchen the next morning, when only Max and I were left. Brodie was outside, Ben had gone to work, and Carys was having her therapy session on the laptop in her room.

Rian stood by the doorway, looking at Max who had immediately tensed where he sat at the table.

I leaned my butt against the sink and watched.

“Max, can I talk to you?” he asked quietly.

Max’s eyes flicked to Rian, then to me. The conflict was clear on his face. It was also clear to see he would’ve wanted his brother there.

“Do you want me to stay?” I asked him, and he nodded, relieved.

“Yeah.”

I smiled. “Need me closer?”

At his timid, sheepish nod, I walked over to the table and pulled the chair next to him. I sat down close enough for our thighs to touch, then took his hand. “This good?”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“Anytime.” I squeezed his fingers.

I glanced at Rian, who seemed shaken by the proceedings. It was as if he hadn’t realized how much of an impact his yelling had really left.

He came closer hesitantly. The movement was so unlike him that I felt bad for him.

“To think I got to nearly two hundred years and don’t know how to control myself,” he said in an apologetic tone. “That’s not an excuse, though.”

I squeezed Max’s hand again.

He cleared his throat, then said, “No, it’s not.”

“I’m so, so sorry, Max.” He sat down across from us and lowered his gaze. I could see the battle in his body language. “There’s… There’s something going on that I can’t talk about yet. I need to process it first. It’s nothing bad, but it’s made me confront some things in my past and there’s more of that coming when I finally know how to express all that. Turns out the past never stays in the past.” He grimaced. “Again, not an excuse. But it’s been heavy on my mind, and then with the whole donor thing being up in the air at the same time….”

We were all quiet for a minute or so, then Max sighed. “Look, I have triggers. Yelling and sudden movements are some of them. Someone stepping close to me quickly is another one. You can probably imagine why, given that I grew up in this house.” Before Rian had time to reply, Max went on. “I understand being overwhelmed and snapping. Hell, I do it sometimes, too. But… you’re genuinely one of my favorite people in the world and my brain had put you in the safe category. Having you yell like that… it’s… it’s going to take a bit for me to get back to where we were.”

Rian seemed a bit sad, but understanding. “If there’s anything I can do to help you, let me know. I’ll try my best to be better. To do better.”

Max reached over the table and Rian gave him his hand. They squeezed fingers, then Max let go again.

“I’m not afraid of you,” he said firmly, looking directly at Rian.

Something in Rian relaxed, then. He let out a shuddering breath, as if that had been his greatest fear. He sucked his lower lip into his mouth, then nodded, his eyes brimming with tears.

“Good,” he managed to say. “That’s good.”

“Max?” Carys called from upstairs. “Can you come talk with my therapist about our school plans?”

“Sure!” He got up and almost touched Rian’s shoulder, but ended up giving him an apologetic smile and left the room.

“They’re going to get their GEDs together,” I explained, even though Rian likely knew already.

“It’s good. They’ll have peer support,” he said, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. “Like I’ve told them, I’ll cover whatever costs they have for their education.” Then he snorted at the ancient laptop Max had left behind. “I’m gonna have to fix that.”

I shook my head and smiled. “I’m shocked.”

He then turned to me. “Are we okay?”

I frowned. “Why wouldn’t we be?”

---