Page 65 of Live Like Legends

Every single piece of darkness I tried to keep at bay, all the time I’d spent working on myself felt useless as I tried to push the overwhelming feeling of dread away from me. My chest felt tight from my increased breathing pattern. My skin felt hot as if it were a million degrees in my house.

There were hands surrounding the sides of my face and they stung when they hit my skin. The haunting images repeated over and over again, but my father’s face became more vivid and his voice echoed out, almost past the insane ringing I was forced to hear.

“Nicholas! Please look at me!” My father shouted.

I was being crowded now by Daya and Alex, but my father pushed them back, telling them to give me some room. My father pulled one of my hands away from my ear and placed it on my chest. He didn’t let go when he said with pure conviction and honesty. “Look at me, Nicholas. Whatever this is, fight it.”

I tried to think of all the good things I had, all the good things Iwouldhave. I thought about how I was still a good person despite everything. I thought about how much better I felt that I could have my father back in my life, as different as it would be now.

I thought about the darkness that threatened to ruin me, but in reality, I accepted it for what it was and lived with it, rather than hide from it. Rather than fear it.

I thought about how I loved a girl who made me want to explore the darkness just to know that there was light on the other side.

The ringing simmered until it was gone. The temperature around me cooled to an acceptable degree. My vision was slightly blurred from the tears I didn’t know I’d let fall and I looked down, noticing that my father’s hand was holding onto mine for dear life. I caught my breath, leaning my head back against the wall. My eyes caught the look of concern on Daya and Alex’s faces. They remained a few feet away from me, likely not wanting to do anything to startle me or set me off.

“Hey, Nicholas. Hey, look at me.” My father patted my chest and I glanced over at him. I was breathing heavily and wordswere hard for me to get out at the moment. “What was that, hmm?”

I licked my lips, pulling my hand away from my head. Tiny specks of blood came back on my palm. I swallowed a few times before I spoke. “Dimitri.”

“The Son of Hell?” Alex chimed in, getting a stern look from her mother. I nodded over at her.

“What about him?” My father asked, running his knuckle along my ear to remove some of the blood.

“He has her, Dad.”

His eyes widened at my words. “He took Dani? When?”

“Earlier tonight. She’s not okay. I have to get to her. I can’t let Purgatory or Hell get to me like it did before.”

My father grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him. “Like it did before? I know you’ve had your dealings with this Dimitri fellow before, but what was this, Nicholas?”

I removed his hand from my chest and slowly walked over to the couch, collapsing on the cushions that were never truly comfortable to begin with, yet right now they felt like the best piece of furniture in the realms. “I didn’t have the easiest time in Purgatory.”

I flinched at the look my father gave me as if anything that hurt me, hurt him. “I’m not okay, Dad, but I’m working on it, I promise. I wasn’t okay when I went there and it just got worse as time went on. Dimitri isveryaware of that.” I flashed him my arm and his eyes went straight to the faint scars there. The three lines left by Dimitri’s extremely sharp demonic fingernails.

“I thought you’d just had a fight with him. I thought it was a battle scar and that was it. I didn’t know you…I should have known that you…” Maurice Cassial looked truly the most defeated I’d ever seen him. It was his turn to sit on the coffee table, folding his hands together and placing them in front ofhim. Daya sat on the arm of the couch, while Alex leaned her body over the back.

“It is in the past, Dad.” I explained to him about my time in Purgatory, not skipping the rough parts that I knew he hated hearing. I told him how I finally opened myself up to the help that was around me, despite my incessant harping that I was fine. “I haven’t blamed myself for Jonah or anyone else in a good while, so progress, I guess. Dimitri is holding onto the little piece of darkness that’s still left, but I’m working on it.” I eyed my father, curiously. “How did you handle that so well?”

My father huffed out a small, short laugh, which was odd given the situation. “Nicholas, your mother used to have panic attacks as well. They weren’t as hostile especially given your situation, but they could be pretty bad. She learned to manage them and also accept that they were something she had to work to get through when they happened,” He ran his knuckles over my cheek. “Just like you.”

I had the strongest instinct to hug him then and that’s just what I did. I’d hugged my father so many times before, but this time felt different. I didn’t have to like what he did to ultimately accept the past. I could wish for a different outcome but not let it fester away at me. He had lost someone the same as me and beyond whatever time had passed, that kind of pain still hurt. He needed me just as much as I needed him; I hadn’t realized how much I’d wanted to hug my own father until right now.

When we let go he whisperedI love youto me, which I whispered back, seeing a tiny glaze form over his eyes as he held back tears. Fuck I missed him.

“Are you going to be okay to even rescue her?” Alex inquired, taking in my mildly sweaty appearance and sudden breakdown that happened only minutes ago.

I let out a slight chuckle, shocking myself with the happy sound of it as I sat back down. “Yeah. I needed this.” I snuck alook over at my dad, the twinkle that was missing from his eyes was back—where it belonged. “Now I just need to find her. I know where she is, just notwhereshe is, if that makes any sense at all.”

“You’ll find her son.”

“Always the optimist.”

“When it comes to you, always,” Daya added, her nose ring twinkling in the little lights around the living room.

My father tapped on my chest with his index finger. “Optimism, yes. It’s also because you love her.”

“Fucking finally.” I heard Alex muttered, tugging at a blue strand of her newly dyed hair, getting a slap on the shoulder by her mother.

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