Page 97 of Legendary

“Lost is a word for it.”

“He is in a veryto the pointkind of mood right now, so talking about his emotions isn’t really on the agenda. I mean it’s hardly ever on the agenda, but you know what I mean.” He waved his hand around nonchalantly, but his tone was anything but.

I reached up and punched his shoulder lightly. “I got this. Let me talk to him.”

Reese nodded and looked at his best friend who was now looking over at us. Nick’s blank expression melted into a small smile in my direction. I gave him one back and then looked back at Reese. “Go get something to drink, like alcohol or something. I’ll let you know if there is anything you need to be aware of.” His shoulders relaxed as if he knew my words rang true. After our talk, I understood his motivations and his undying support of the raven-haired angel I found myself wanting to be around more and more.

We both wanted this man to be healthy and happy with a clear soul, but his soul wouldn’t ever be clear again and Reese would have to come to terms with that. And so would Nicholas. Both of them had tainted souls now, regardless of me or Elise, or anyone. Reese already had this hardened interior from his family and his upbringing that the darkness here likely found him boring, but Nick was different, he was the good boy that had now done some bad things, seen some bad things.

Reese moved past me out of the room, and I entered the space, instantly feeling that wave of tension anytime we were alone in a room together. I walked over to him, wedging myself between his legs as he leaned back to look at me. I gently picked up his wounded arm, peering down at the three scarred lines down his forearm. Before I could really think about it, I brought his arm to my lips and pressed a gentle kiss to the scars. His breathing caught when my mouth touched his skin, but he remained quiet, just watching me.I placed his arm back down on his thigh and finally looked up at him. He narrowed his brown eyes at me, and they looked just like they always had, but there was something else there. It was like I could feel his tiredness and I ached to fix it, but there were parts of me that wondered if I got too close would I taint him even more.

“Are youreallyokay?” I asked, my tone even.

He sighed like he was annoyed at the question. It was one I knew he had heard way too often. “Yes. I am perfectly fine. All my limbs are accounted for. I have my brain cells and I can even speak in full sentences.”

I instinctively smacked the side of his head. “Okay, smartass.”

He reached up with his non-wounded arm and rubbed his head. “Sorry.”

“You can tell Reese whatever you want, but lying to me isn’t something I advise. You’ve already done it a handful of times since we’ve been here.” I fixed my eyes to stare right into his, almost daring him to look anywhere else.

He blinked. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

I rolled my eyes in disbelief. “No one is in a constant state of ‘I’m fine’ Nick. Like your little spasm while talking to Natalia or when you were quite literally emitting dark energy from your fucking pores right next to me. And let’s not forget you sleeping on the bathroom floor because you didn’t feel well, that’s my personal favorite.” My tone was a bit snarky, but I couldn’t help it.

“I get it, alright. Do you want me to say I’m sorry? Fine. I’m sorry that I’m allowed to keep shit to myself.” His voice was pure agitation.

“Nick, no one said you had to air out all your secrets, but it’s honestly not doing you any good keeping it all in. Whatever you’re feeling, even Dimitri could sense it, the minute he tasted your blood. It’s kind of his thing as fucked up as it is. That’s what happened to you in there, he tasted that darkness, and now that it's embedded in your veins, he used it against you.” I reached up and placed my hand on the back of his head, bringing his face closer to mine. He molded so willingly to my movements as if despite his irritation with my words, he still wanted to be near me as much as he could. “I know firsthand what an invasion of the mind feels like. It’s like she’s talking to me here and there, but not enough to fully send me raging, but enough to push me little by little. I almost lost it with Dimitri, but I didn’t.” I cared more about Nicholas’s wellbeing than my own blood thirsty satisfaction and I had never been more content about my decision.

“Dimitri just had an upper hand, but he doesn’t scare me. I just need a minute to figure this shit out and I’ll be right back at it. You can handle yourself and so can I. I have no choice but to see this through Dani. WhenI decided to become a sentry, I had to take an oath to see things through, always find a way to reach the end of the task, the mission, whatever was happening. And if it seemed like there was no way to the end you made a way because that’s what you had to do. So, seeing this through is a must,” he said sternly as if he was repeating words straight from Ariel’s mouth. And I knew he believed every word he said, but those words seemed like such a trap. Like if any little mistake was made then there was this shadow of shame. They had to look in all directions when they fought, but they had to have tunnel vision for their tasks. Then came me and Elise and all the secrets that exploded from Heaven’s Gate and it put a wrench in everything they ever knew.

I swallowed. “You told me that I was perfect Nick and while I highly appreciate that, I do have flaws that make my utter perfection just a tiny bit unhinged. And I lean into it. I know that I won’t get far thinking that I have no issues. I think you are perfectly imperfect, but I also think thatyouthink that you always need to be just fucking flawless.”

“I’ve never once said I’m perfect.” He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me into him more, seeming to want to gain some power from me.

I yanked his hair causing him to release a hiss, letting him know I still had his attention. “Good little soldiers always think they're perfect because any imperfections could mean death, but in reality, actually accepting those cute little imperfections and following the path where thereisresistance might be the only thing that will save you. There is no cushy rule book here, so it’s about time you stopped thinking your sentry methods work because the darkness doesn’t care. You can try to weave around it and find another way as you so stoically put it, but it will always find you because whether you like it or not, you let it. And ignoring it will only fuel it. Why do you think it was so fucking easy for Dimitri to get into your head? I could virtually taste it coming off of you when we were walking back…”

He jumped off the bed, keeping me close to him and I dropped my hand from his hair. “I don’t know what you want me to do Dani. I’m not like you where I can somehow communicate with it enough to settle it. It’s overwhelming and I need to focus on anything else so I can try not to think about it throughout the entire day.” I thought back to his outburst at Ariel. It was out of character and had been a shock to all of us, although it was hot. He wasn’t following his higher ups instructions this time; he was following his own and he was the leader of his own mission. The leader was waning now, but he was still trying to make it to the end with as little fuck ups as possible.

“Ignoring. It. Won’t. Work,” I said each word with purpose, hoping thatit would get through that thick head of hair he had and melt into his brain.

He started to walk us backwards towards the counter and I could feel my back hit the cold gray countertop. “If I think about it, it will fester. If I don’t think about it, it will also fester. You can see where I don’t win on either side. Maybe I could have saved us more issues if I had let you go see Dimitri by yourself, but that wasn’t going to happen, so please tell me how to fix my flaws, Dani, since you know all about it.” His eyes flickered with that darksomethingthat I saw after we had fought Dimitri. It was quick, but it was there. I could feel remnants of his energy slithering towards me, appearing not dark and mysterious but translucent and innocent. It didn’t have to show its true colors to me to let me know what it was and what it wanted.

Despite the waves of dark energy, I felt his body heat and could smell his inviting scent. It was warm like after the first shot of whiskey makes its way down your throat and settles. I had never been a fan of the drink, but I could find myself getting used to it. “Speak for yourself, Nicholas. I don’t want to fix your flaws you idiot. Dimitri said that you were too fragile to fight off your own demons well, fuck, was he right?”

My throat was enveloped by his hand, not enough pressure to truly hurt me but always enough to gather my attention. “I’m not fragile.”

“Then stop ignoring the problem and let someone in,” I coaxed, pushing my hips up and out to meet his pelvis. If things didn’t get better, I might have to force him back home to his father. Reese would follow and Nick would resent me for making him leave, but maybe that would help him understand that I did care. I wasn’t a dumbass who would throw him to the wolves again in his condition, not after Dimitri’s mental invasion.

“You sure are bossy when you think you know best. When you think you have all the answers.” He leaned down close to my face, letting his breath hit my skin.

I chuckled, not at all impressed by his show of assertiveness. “You sure are the master of deflection these days. Why am I not surprised.” His eyes lost the darkness there, but now they were hooded and heavy with a look I knew very, very well.

He tilted his fingers up so that they touched my jaw, and he twisted my head to the side, his lips grazing my ear. “You quiet my head sometimes. I can feel it alright; I know it’s there, but I sleep better with you next to me. Even though it’s darkness calling to darkness, it doesn’t seem so debilitating when you’re around and I don’t know what any of it means, but I’ll figure out whatever you want as long as you’re right here.”

I brought my face up to meet his lips, kissing him. I put pressure on this kiss, not wanting to come off like I wanted it to be slow and careful. He heldonto my throat holding me in place as he kissed me back. His mouth moved over mine, while his tongue came out to play and explore. I took his bottom lip between my teeth and pulled, hearing a low groan come from his throat. I felt his cock against my stomach, getting harder at every second. He let go of my throat, placing his hand next to me on the countertop, caging me in. He kissed along my jaw and down my neck, a wave of shivering warmth shooting down my spine. His lips met that spot he had learned could make me squirm with needy want. He pressed his body into mine, moving his mouth to the other side of my neck.

The sound of footsteps and chatter caught my attention and with his head bent down I could see that I hadn’t closed the door all the way. It wasn’t wide open, but it was ajar enough that if someone did try to look in here, they would get an eyeful. “Nick, the door.” I honestly didn’t give a fuck about the door, but I at least wanted to make him aware.

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