Page 33 of Legendary

The bodies of those angels, the way my sword sliced through them played like a never-ending memory in my brain, I had no way to pause it or just delete it. I got up from my bed with wobbly legs to guide me, breathing heavy and deep, that concrete weight still creating so much pressure on my lungs. I tried my best to tiptoe to the bathroom while also trying to keep my footing. Everything in me wanted to just double over and crash to the ground. Once I’d pushed the door open and cut the light on, I closed the door behind me reaching for the sink.

I looked at myself in the mirror and I could have sworn I saw Jonah’s face looking back at me. I saw Ollie and all those others, their lives I’d endedbecause someone else had used them as pawns in a game I didn’t want to play. A game that we were allstillplaying. My cheek looked much better than before, but my eyes were bloodshot. I felt myself starting to heave over the sink, my stomach boiling. I was hyperventilating and I felt everything start to rise to the surface. I leaned over the sink hoping that if I could throw up then I could just pass out from pure and utter exhaustion, but nothing came out. My fingers dug into the side of the sink as my frustration grew, then I looked at myself in the mirror once again.

Jonah’s face.

I turned one of the knobs on the sink to get the water to flow out and splashed some onto my face. The liquid felt heavy and thick. It felt like blood. Not my own but someone else’s. Everyone else’s. I quickly cut the water off and had to stop myself from nearly slapping my own cheek to pull myself together. I closed my eyes so tight I was sure I popped a blood vessel as I pushed off the sink and backed up against the door. I let out one breath after another, over, and over, and over. I felt the wood hit my sweaty back and the coolness of it calmed me just a bit. I slid down the door until my butt hit the linoleum floor. The pain from my wounds didn’t matter at this point, right now nothing really mattered. My mind was on repeat from Jonah and his secrets, my father and his secrets, keeping it together with Reese and finding some kind of path back into Dani’s circle of trust. I could do it. I could handle it all, I just needed to breathe.

Why was I breathing sofuckinghard. The last time this happened my father had almost caught me, but I ended up playing it off like I didn’t feel well. Maurice Cassial wasn’t stupid, but it had been so early in my recovery from the fight that he didn’t push.

Jonah wouldn’t want you on the sidelines.Dani had caught me off guard with that.

She deserved so much better.Jonah had left me with so many questions. He was a good man who only wanted to help me, but I had doubted him.

I tilted my head back and let it knock against the door with a small thud. I closed my eyes, bringing my knees up to my chest. I felt myself shaking. I was literally vibrating as if I was cold. I willed sleep to take me, anything to get me out of my own head. Everything started to go numb as I drifted off to an unsettling sleep, but there was always something in the back of my mind pulling at me. Always pulling.

Jonah in my arms. Dying. Not letting me save him.

I could have. He wouldn’t let me. He died in my arms.

They died by my hand.

What kind of hero did that make me?

DANI

The water from the shower hit my back like singular tiny punches, the searing heat of the water burning my skin. I let out a sigh of relief because it felt good. I had simply changed clothes minus the shower when we got back from our short-lived tour. It was extremely late but what better time to take a long, hot shower than when everyone was dead asleep and couldn’t bother you. I placed my forehead on the porcelain wall and took a few breaths in. I was at a loss for words on what had happened to me, so how the fuck did Nicholas expect me to explain it. I had the willpower to withstand Lilith and her supposed hold on me. I wasn’t a meek little thing. She sent me a fight as a welcome present. If I wasn’t so fucking pissed, I’d be flattered. Demons used to offer me fucking limbs just to get a front row seat to watch me pull a soul. I was livid at the fact that she sent her enchantress pet to me, rather than herself. Was I not worth showing her face for?

Isabel wouldn’t be so enthralled to help Lilith if she knew that her beloved mistress tried to push me to end her life. Lilith didn’t speak in a demanding tone either, it was almost soothing, like a loving caress. In reality, I really didn’t need the push at all, but with the power the darkness gave me,thebondI guess I had with Lilith made me feel stronger, it made me feel invincible. I liked power. Fuck that…Ilovedpower. In Heaven’s Gate, I had it, but it was diluted, it was mild.Here, it was felt in full force and there was more I could gather, so much more. The thing I didn’t like was anyone having power over me. Physically or emotionally. It was all the same. I was Lilith’s creation, but she didn’t own me. She wouldn’t tell me who I was or what I could do. She. Didn’t. Own. Me.

Lilith hated a mess, but she did love a good show. So, did that make me her main event? She could always come and snatch me up at any minute, but no, she wanted to watch me. She wanted me to feel Purgatory’s pull on what she knew would be my resistance. It's extremely delicious pull because,fuck,was it pulling.

I punched the wall of the shower so hard my whole hand vibrated. I tilted my head back letting the water run down my face, running a hand through my wet hair. It was heavy when it was wet and there were way more tangles than I would like to admit. Tangles that I would likely spend the rest of the night trying to get out. I turned around and ducked my head further under the water and ran my hand down my face, feeling the water fall down my body, hitting the shower floor beneath my feet.

I needed to think about something completely off topic before I went into full rage mode and created a mess in this bathroom, and I didn’t think Beetee would appreciate having to clean up the results of my tantrum. My thoughts bounced around as I searched. Elise popped into my head and oh fuck, no. My shadows and darkness bubbled up, willing me to boil over. I shook my head, pieces of my hair slapping me in the face. Beetee and her weird snake shifting ability was something, but I would much rather talk to her about that in person than ponder on it. I turned around so my back was against the shower wall and continued to think. I could have tried to create more of a plan, channel my inner Nicholas Cassial and try to be aleader of the packtype, but so much had happened today that I wasn’t in the right headspace for strategy, but—

Nicholas Cassial. I didn’t have tolikehim at the moment to think about him.

There was something off about him lately that I couldn’t put my finger on, but thinking about him right now had me aching to put my finger somewhere else. I wasn’t giving into his charm or that pretty face by letting him invade my thoughts. He wasn’t a mind reader, I was well aware, but he didn’t need to search the ten circles of Hell to figure out what I wanted to hear. I wasn’t going to give him all the answers though. He’d admitted he wanted me, so he could deduce what the answer to getting me back into his good graces was.Even so, I loved watching him pine.

He was still insanely attractive, even though he was fucking dense. I had to stop myself from staring too hard when he pulled off his shirt. Venom wounds and all, he was incredibly built, and I knew what that body looked like with no clothes on at all, and it was the best thing to empty my mind too. I bit my lip as I slid my hand down between my breasts and over my stomach. My thighs shook slightly at the anticipation as my fingers lightly teased my clit. I tilted my head back at that small touch and closed my eyes. I could want my distance from him now, but in my head his hands were all over me. Those very, very skilled hands. I imagined his lips kissing my neck and those long fingers of his exploring between my legs and playing with me. I dipped my fingers lower, pressing one inside of me. I used my other hand to massage my breast, toying with my nipple while I let out a moan at the feeling.

I remembered his hands were rougher than mine, yet he was still gentle. I tweaked and played with my nipples as I fucked myself with my own hand, adding another finger alongside the previous one. “Fuck, oh, fuck.” My fingers were no match for the size of him though. They didn’t fill and stretch me the same way he did, and it was a fucking shame. I felt myself growing wetter at the thought of him thrusting inside of me relentlessly, wrapping his large hand around my neck. I moved my hand faster and more urgently, using my memories of him and the way we were that night to push me along.

I removed my hand from my breast and traced it down my slick, wet skin to my clit. I needed to mimic that sensation of his fingers and tongue. I could never do it properly, but I could fucking try. I massaged the sensitive area and hissed through my teeth. I could admit I wanted his tongue. If he ever lost his skillful ability with a sword, then he could just be the master of eating out. I curled my body over as I worked my fingers inside myself and rubbed my clit in a harmonious rhythm. Flashes of everything that we’d done, every position he’d put me in, every single time I came played across my closed eyes and I used it. I used those vivid pictures to push myself closer and closer to that edge I longed for.

I rubbed my clit harder and faster, somehow remembering how his breath felt on my neck, his voice in my ear and how good he felt holding my hips as he pounded into me from behind. That praise that he gave me for coming all over his cock.Good girl. “Shit, shit, fuck.” I pumped my fingers into my pussy so hard as the tingling sensation of my orgasm shot through me. I let his name tumble past my lips in a desperate kind of plea as I circled my clit, over and over.

I let my shoulders relax and tried to push myself off the wall and stand onmy shaky legs. I’d pleasured myself many, many times before but that was different. My vision was slightly blurry from closing my eyes so tight, but it also could have been from the steam that the hot water had been creating all this time. My chest rose and fell with my steadying breaths. I felt a little lightheaded, but better than I did before so I felt accomplished at least.

I turned off the shower and reached for the towel I’d hung up. I stepped carefully out of the shower and padded over to the mirror. I wiped my hand down the fogged glass and looked at myself, my mass of wet curls plastered to my back. What looked back at me was an incredibly sated halfling.

Even if we weren’t on the best of terms, Nicholas should be happy that he could still satisfy me.

Ifelt better in the morning, much more relaxed than I was last night. I changed my clothes and trotted downstairs, taking them two at a time. I smelt coffee before I’d made it to the last step, and I’d never been so eager for a beverage in all of my existence. The reddish-orange glow from the window told me it was mid-morning and it also made me miss the glowing sunshine that Heaven’s Gate provided. There was light outside, but it wasn’t as bright, and it didn’t bring with it potential forfunadventures. I heard chatter coming from the lounge area and turned my head to see two females sitting together on the couch. They looked identical with long black hair and dark skin. One of them looked over their shoulder at me in a way that told me that she was sizing me up. Her face seemed to morph into something of respect in the same moment as if she was just starting to realize who I was. She nudged the female next to her, who looked over her shoulder in awe and smiled at me.

A few of her teeth were shaved down to points telling me that they were definitely demons, not that I wouldn’t have been able to sniff them out, and that this side of Purgatory was not where they originally resided. I shifted out of the way when a few people came down the stairs and rushed out the door. The Hearth wasn’t crowded, but there were a shit ton more people here right now, which meant more eyes on me. I didn’t mind it, but that didn’t mean I wanted attention when I didn’t ask for it. I walked past the kitchen, noticing an older woman and a younger man sitting at the breakfast bar and before I could casually walk into the dining area, a shot of yellow magic flew past my face.

“What the fuck,” I yelled, shooting my own dark shadows at thedirection the magic came from.

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