The man had touched more lives than I had ever known in a way I would never truly understand. I didn’t even comprehend how he fit into my life, especially after learning that he fit in a totally different way than I once thought. I pushed away from my door and ripped my black dress jacket off my arms, throwing it onto my perfectly-made bed. I only wore that jacket for special occasions, and Jonah’s ceremony was the epitome of a special occasion. I couldn’t even remember the last time I wore it, so finding it in my closet when the time came was a surprise.
I had never seen my father so quiet or so tense before. He didn’t shed any tears, but I had noticed that his hand would flex around Daya’s every so often and she would squeeze back. There were so many angels there, old and young alike. A few would look in my direction and nod or their faces would contort into this look of wariness since, obviously, they were awareI had been there when he died. He died in my arms and the memory would never leave me.
Angelic death ceremonies were meaningful and beautiful. There was a special area of The Skies for executives who had died so they would remain part of Heaven’s Gate. The other executives stood around where Jonah had been laid to rest, expelling pieces of their light towards the ground offering their own magic to him. Where his magic had gone was still a mystery, but that was the least of my worries over these last few months. That was an executive issue, and if I was being honest, executives weren’t really high on my list of angels I wanted to speak to.
I moved my jacket further up my bed so I could sit in its previously occupied space. I placed my elbows on my knees, dragging my hands through my hair. I wasn’t a crier—I’d never felt the need to cry. Nothing had ever felt like tears were totally necessary. I probably was frustrated enough to cry, but all I wanted to do was talk to the one person who didn’t want to talk to me.Fuck.
Knuckles rapped on my door.
“Yes?” I answered, knowing my tone was less than friendly.
“You alright?” Reese responded, the concern in his voice apparent. I might have wanted to talk to Dani, but I had a best friend who would always be there when I needed him.
“For the most part.”
I heard the knob turn and the door open. Reese poked his head into the room, looking me up and down. His blonde brows turned down as he walked in, closing the door behind him before he crossed his arms over his chest. “You know I hate this touchy feely shit but come on Nick.”
I leaned back on my bed. “Come on, what?”
Reese scoffed, rolling up the sleeves of his maroon button down. “The guy died right in front of you, and you’re telling me you’re fine.”
“I never said I wasfine, alright. I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“You don’t have to talk to me, but just know your dad is a little worried about you,” Reese said, placing his hands in his pants pockets. “I want to say something, but I don’t know how to say it.”
I rubbed my forehead with my fingertips. “He’s always worried. That’s nothing new.” My tone was clipped. “Just say it. I’ve never known you to be hesitant about anything.” I was trying not to spiral more than usual, so thinking about Jonah and how intertwined he was with my life was too much, not to mention that my own father was gatekeeping information like his life depended on it. His death was something I could mourn, but I couldn’t let it take over my every thought.
“I might be a little more knowledgeable about the missing souls in the human world than I let on.”
“I’m sorry, what?”
He groaned. “It wasn’t just me either. A few of us were noticing missing souls, missing bodies, but you know how Ariel can get. We wanted everything to be smooth sailing, so we didn’t say anything. None of it really matters anymore, but you’ve been beating yourself up about not being there for her, and none of us were there for the others.”
I ran a hand down my thigh, settling at my knee as I tapped my index finger against it. “I wasn’t aware you had such a thick conscience ” He shrugged, as if he was waiting for me to forgive his secrecy. “It’s good to know I wasn’t going completely crazy, and yes, it doesn’t do much now, but thanks for telling me.”
“And that is called communication, Nicholas. Something you should learn from.”
I rolled my eyes at him. “Yet again, I’m fine. I need to learn nothing.”
Reese held up his hands, clearly backing off. “Of course, now you claim you’re fine. I’m just saying get your thoughts and shit in check before we go through with this awful plan.”
I pointed my finger at him. “See another reason why I can’t focus on Jonah or whatever right now: the Purgatory crusade.”
My best friend rolled his eyes. “The experience from Hell brought to us by the devil incarnate, a literal queen and your hybrid girlfriend.”
I let out a small laugh, one that felt foreign given the circumstances. “You agreed to it, remember?”
“Yes, but that doesn’t mean I’m happy about it. I won’t promise to play nice on this little adventure of ours, either” he stated, rocking back on his heels. He scratched his chin, where he had grown a small amount of stubble. “Did you happen to tell Ariel about this Purgatory trip?”
I raised my brown eyes to his hazel ones. “Um, no.”
He scrunched his lips together in confusion. “Do…we need to?”
I opened my mouth to answer, but then closed it—I didn’t know. It would have been something to ask the highest executive about, but we didn’t have one of those right now. Jonah suddenly dying wasn’t something we were prepared for, especially since he didn’t leave any offspring to take his place. Ariel couldn’t just decide to take his place. It didn’t work like that.
“I guess…not?” I said slowly before I blew out a breath. “It’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission.”
One side of Reese’s lips tilted up. “Woah, you sound like me. I’m so proud. Maybe the little halfling changed you for the better. Little rebel.”