Page 132 of Legendary

As if she knew where my mind had gone, she pinched my jaw with as much force as her fingers would let her. “You are good, Nicholas Cassial. You are still very much the hero I’ve always thought you were.” She sucked in a deep breath, and I noticed the light was even dimmer. It pulsed slower and every second it took too long, my heart would fumble. I closed my eyes, not wanting more tears to escape. She shushed me, soothing my heart rampaging in my chest. “It’s kind of funny, you know? You spent so much time trying to get me to accept my light—I wanted to try, I swear—but it all seems so silly now, when you were right here. You’re all the light I needed.” She laughed to herself which came out so much less happy than it originally would have.

I smiled down at her, taking in her words, feeling my face get hot and my shoulders aching to slump. I shook away those thoughts, needing to be strong for her when she was so weak. “I’ll be your night light whenever you need me. I can’t do that if you don’t come back with us. You have to come back with me.” I felt the portal key under my shirt.

Reese limped over to us. “Nick, she isn’t going to make that trip and youknow it.”

“Shut up,” I told him.

“Nick,” Reese started again. I knew he wasn’t trying to be a dick. He was being realistic. I didn’t care about being realistic; I just wanted her.

“Reese, shut up! Shut up!” My words came out choked and strained. My cheeks were wet, and I felt her run her fingers under my eyes as she removed the tears. “I’m not leaving you. I can’t do that, Dani. Iwon’tdo that. It’s you and me, existing together, remember? I c-can’t do t-that w-without you.”

Her tears trailed down her face and over her cheeks, disappearing past into hair. She gave me a closed-mouth smile as if my words hit her right where they were supposed to, but that didn’t mean they didn’t cause some sort of pain knowing they were true. “You have to.” She tugged on my shirt causing me to lean down closer to her. I caught Elise out of the corner of my eye, slowly moving over to us but not saying a word. Dani rubbed her nose against mine and that only made me cry harder.

She kissed me with as much passion as she could muster, all the tears and pain wrapped up into something I couldn’t have explained to anyone else. “I should have said it sooner,” I said against her lips. “I shouldn’t have listened to you.”

She kissed me again, and this time it was short and sweet. “I know. It’s the only mistake I ever made—telling you to wait.” She closed her eyes and reopened them, closed, opened, closed, opened.

I tugged her closer, hating every minute of this. “Dani, no, no, you can’t do this. Not to me.” I leaned down further, pressing my lips to her temple. “I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner. I’m sorry I never told you I loved you…because I do. I love you, dark or light, riddled with scars.” My voice was no more than a whisper when I was done, but I felt lighter after those words left my lips, like they were holding me back from something completely.

I noticed she wasn’t moving, her body so still, it was scary. Her eyes were closed, her eyelashes fanned out across the tops of her cheeks. I heard a rattling sound and realized it was her dagger, the blood-soaked weapon ricocheting off the stone as it rapidly fell apart, becoming nothing but dust and memories. It was like it had never existed and the light that was so faint, so weak inside of her, blew out. It no longer pulsed, no longer gave me the small notion that she was okay enough for me to fake it for both of us.

Natalia had warned me this could happen. She had let herself be consumed by the dark, and she couldn’t fight it like she wanted. Dani was strong and I would bet her way anytime in a fight, but she wasn’t prepared for the two sides of herself to fight for dominance. That darkness had taken her so far down that, when it could possibly seem like the light had won, Idon’t think she could find a way to it. Maybe I could have helped her, if that was at all possible, maybe I could have done something other than take her away from me.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and a familiar body hovering over me. “Nick, I’m sorry.” Reese’s voice was so low I hardly heard him. Beetee pulled herself up from the ground as Elise ran over to her. She watched me, sadness in her lilac eyes. Garrett was on his side; I could see his shoulders move slightly, but he wasn’t as coherent as the rest of us. “It’s not fair,” I muttered to myself as I said fuck it to the pain in my wrist and wrapped both my arms around her.

“It’s not fucking fair. She was…” Elise caught herself as if showing any emotion close to mine was something she couldn’t fathom. “She was annoying, but she didn’t deserve this. Blondie is right though, Nicholas. We do have to go.”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “I’m not leaving her here.”

“Beetee needs help, Garrett can hardly keep his fucking eyes open, and your best friend has a seriously gnarly wound in his calf. It’s a difficult choice, but it’s one we have to make,” Elise argued, “you need to use your stupid key and take us back.”

“I…I can’t.”

Reese let out a sigh. “Nick, you bring her back to, what? Ariel will never let her be buried anywhere near other angels; despite everything we know about her. You’ll just put more strain on her body taking her through a portal anyway.” He knelt down, but I didn’t look over at him. “I don’t like saying it, but you have two very alive people who need help right now. As much as you want to help her, you can’t anymore.” I refused to acknowledge him, but I knew somewhere inside of myself, that he was right, and it was a choice I knew she would want me to make.

I grabbed my key from around my neck and yanked it down, breaking the clasp. I handed it to him, feeling his fingers graze my own as if he was hesitating. I found Elise looking at me again, but she immediately looked away. If I had known any better, she’d swiped her hand under her eyes— gray eyes that looked glassy from where I sat.

Reese pushed off from the ground and began to start maneuvering Garrett so that they could help him through the portal. They would need me in a minute, but I couldn’t move. My sadness was evident from my tears and heavy chest, but I was also angry that yet again this happened to me. Someone I cared about so immensely had died in my arms. At least, with Dani, I’d never doubted her throughout this journey. I had lost another person. There was another hole in my existence that would never be filled again, becausethis beautiful creature had made such an impact on it. It wasn’t fucking fair. My heart was beating so roughly, I almost felt like I could pass out if I didn’t control myself.

I just wanted her back. I wanted to tell her so many things, I wanted to tell her that I loved her over and over again until she couldn’t stand it. I wanted everything I’d said that night in bed. I wanted a life with her outside of Lilith, regardless of how those circumstances had changed. I wanted to continue to fight Lilith with her and take on anything else that threatened the things we wanted, the life we could create together. I know the ins and outs of how any of that would play out, but I was seething with so much untapped rage that I ached to rewind time to that night, the night she’d left to do things on her own. I couldn’t do that; I wouldn’t get a chance to do that, and…. fuck, fuck, fuck!

There was a hollow feeling in my chest—she had my heart, and I didn’t want it back.

I wantedherback.

I wanted her back.

I wanted her back, because I loved her, and she was mine.

I held her tighter, my eyes closing as I felt no tears, only the need to speak what I wanted into existence. “I want you back,” I whispered to her, not actually caring if anyone else saw or heard.

My eyes were closed but I could see a slight glow from behind my eyelids. I cracked my eyes open to watch small light blossom at her wound, tracing around it. As I watched, it gained more power, more movement, as it spread along her body, moving over every inch.

“Nick…” Reese said, trailing off as he stopped what he was doing.

I tentatively reached out to touch the light and it glowed brighter, encapsulating my hand, but it didn’t hurt. It felt like it was a part of me—like it came from me. It wasn’t white with hues of gold like angelic light—instead, it was a mix of a dark red and neon green, the tips black, the colors seemed to dance with one another.

What was this?

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