Page 77 of When Love And Destiny Collide

"Part of me hopes one of these babies is a girl, but I already have my daughter," she says, pulling Holly in for a warm, affectionate squeeze.

"I hope one of them is a girl, Mommy," Holly says, her voice full of hope. Although Holly isn’t Loren’s biological child, the way she beams with confidence shows how deeply she feels loved as the firstborn in this family. Loren and Aaron have created something beautiful—a home filled with happiness and love. I glance at Lily, and she offers me a small smile, but I know my earlier words stung.

"What about you, Aaron?" Lily asks.

"I'll be happy with whatever God gives us," he says, resting his hand on Loren’s belly. "There are two little babies in there, and I already love them both more than I can say. I can’t wait to meet them." His eyes glisten with pride.

After dessert is gone and the coffee pot is almost empty, Mateo's deep voice from the end of the table breaks the moment. "Tonight’s my first night at the hotel, so I should get going. Mija, can you drop me off on your way home?"

"Of course," Lily says, standing up from the table.

In the meantime, I offer to help Aaron clean the kitchen so Loren can relax.

"Let me just put Peter to bed first," Aaron replies, cradling his son in his lap.

After Lily hugs and kisses everyone goodnight, I walk her and Mateo to the door. Mateo heads toward the car, but before Lily can follow, I gently take her hand and pull her closer. "I'm sorry," I whisper. "That was careless of me."

"It's okay," she says softly, though her eyes betray the hurt—the unspoken pain of knowing she may never give me a child.

"I love you, Sweetheart."

"I love you too, Noah."

I lean in and kiss her gently. "See you at the house?"

She nods, her smile returning before she walks away, leaving me standing there, wishing I could take away her pain.

Chapter 22

Lily

"What Noah said hurt you, Cariño?" Dad asks, his voice gentle as he settles into the seat beside me in the car.

"It’s not his words that hurt me, Dad," I say softly. "It’s my own regret. What happened that night—it was my fault. I can’t blame anyone for the consequences. The guilt, the hurt, the shame—they’re mine to carry. I just hate that Noah feels like he has to walk on eggshells because of my mistake."

"I'm sure he understands," Dad says, his voice gentle. "You were young. Who doesn’t make mistakes at that age?"

"Yeah, but my mistake cost me everything," I murmur, the weight heavy in my chest.

Once we arrive at the hotel, I help Dad with his things—a suitcase, a bag, and several neatly hung shirts. The room is spacious and comfortable, yet I still feel a pang of guilt for not insisting that he stay with me. "Are you sure you don’t want to stay with me, Dad?" I finally ask, setting everything on the bed.

"I told you," he begins, shooting me a mischievous smile. "I want this to feel like a vacation."

"Okay," I reply. "Are we still on for that hike tomorrow?"

"Are you up for the six-mile loop?" he asks, pulling me into a hug and kissing my forehead.

"See you at ten," I answer before waving goodbye.

As I step outside, the brisk breeze nips at my skin, reminding me that fall is just around the corner. I slip into the car, gripping the steering wheel, and for the thousandth time, I wish I could turn back time—back to that night. If only I’d declined the party invitation. If only I’d been more responsible. If only I hadn’t taken that first drink... then the second, and the third. I strain to remember what really happened, but the mental block feels like both a curse and a blessing—a shield keeping me from reliving the biggest mistake of my life.

When the first tear rolls down my cheek, I don’t wipe it away—I know more will follow, so why bother? I’m starting my own business. I have a man in my life who loves me and a little boy filling the space in my heart left by the emptiness in my womb.My dad is here. By all accounts, I should be on top of the world, happier than ever. But right now, all I can focus on is that I will never carry life inside me.

I think of Loren and Katherine, and envy stings deep. They can give their husbands children and create a life together. I see the pride and joy on Aaron’s and Adam’s faces, and I know I’ll never see that on Noah’s. That thought alone is enough to break me.

I absentmindedly reach for my purse to grab some tissues, but when I glance beside me and into the back seat, a wave of panic hits—where’s my purse? But then relief follows when I remember I left it in Dad’s room. Frustration bubbles up as I fumble through the glove compartment, pulling out some leftover napkins and dabbing at my face. I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the rear-view mirror and sigh. Maybe if I sit for a few minutes, the redness and puffiness in my eyes will fade. But who am I kidding?

I walk back into the hotel and slip into the ladies’ room. Splashing cold water on my face, I groan inwardly—this is the worst possible time for a meltdown. I stare at my reflection, debating. Should I just leave my purse and come back tomorrow? But if I go home, Noah will know something’s off—he always does—and let’s be real, I’m not exactly a pretty crier. Either way, I’ll have to explain myself. With a heavy breath, I decide to face Dad.

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