Page 5 of Savage Reign

In my darkest moment, I didn’t think I’d ever find happiness again. Ten sleeping pills and a pint of vodka later, I woke up with my stomach pumped and a crushing headache. Killing myself was never my intention—I only wanted to numb the pain. It was my lowest point, but it became a turning point. Waking up to Liza’s tear-streaked face and Roman’s terrified expression, I knew I had to make a change. Finding something I love—dancing—has been a huge part of that.

Liza places a hand on my knee, giving a gentle squeeze. “I wish you didn’t feel that way.”

“I don’t so much anymore,” I assure her. “But I’m ready for a change. Which is why…” I take a breath. “I’ve decided to move to Berlin after I graduate.”

Her face falls. “You’re leaving Moscow?”

“I am.”

She swallows, working to keep her emotions in check. “Why? I thought you were happy with your life.”

I shake my head. “I am. It’s just… I haven’t found my place yet. Lizka, I need this. A fresh start somewhere new.”

Liza’s expression tightens as she blinks back tears. “Of course, I want you to be happy. You’re a grown woman who can make her own choices. But are you sure moving to a city where you don’t know anyone is the right call?”

“I like the idea of starting over where no one knows me. No whispers about who I am or the family I’m tied to.”

“I get it. Living under the shadow of the Syndicate is… a lot.”

“That’s not why I’m moving,” I promise. “But Berlin isn’t that far. And you’re married to a man who owns a jet, remember?”

Liza laughs, even as a tear slides down her face. She wipes it away quickly. “Not gonna lie, I need a moment to wrap my head around this. But you’ve worked your ass off to get where you are, to leave the mess of our past behind. If this is what you want, I’m here for it. Promise me you’ll take care of yourself.”

I nod, squeezing her hand. “I will.”

“And maybe you’ll meet a hot German dancer and, I don’t know, pirouette into the sunset or something.” She winks.

Groaning, I cover my face. “That is so wrong on so many levels.”

“Oh, come on. You’re single and deserve to have some fun. Play the field.” She holds up a hand. “Safely, of course.”

“Not easy with a bodyguard watching my every move.”

Her mouth curls at the corners. “Are your guards cramping your style?”

“I mean, they would if there was someone I was into.”

The truth is, I’m not sure what I want from a relationship. I’m not even convinced there’s a man out there for me.

Except… in the dark of night, when I’m alone, one man invades my fantasies: Nikolai Zhukov.

It’s messed up, and I’d never admit to my sister that I think of him like that. I haven’t seen Nikolai since the night he saved me from Anatoly’s goons. There was no need to annul our marriage because, according to the lawyers, it was never legal in the first place.

Nikolai may have been part of my rescue, but I know he’s no hero. From what I’ve overheard between Liza and Roman, the Zhukov Bratva controls all of St. Petersburg. He’s a hard, dangerous man, and yet…

Something must have snapped in my brain that day. I was young, terrified out of my mind, and he protected me—saved me from what would have been the worst experience of my life, hands down. So maybe it’s a savior complex that I’ve somehow twisted into some kind of misplaced desire.

I haven’t even told my therapist about these fantasies. Not because she’d judge me but because some things are better left buried in the past.

“Maybe you can have a signal with your guards to get lost when you want to get laid.”

“Huh!” My cheeks redden, having been lost in thoughts of Nikolai.

“Calm down. I’m kidding.” Liza laughs, her voice light.

I shake my head. “I am officially horrified by this conversation. And for the record, there’s no way any of them would leave me alone with a stranger.”

Liza sighs dramatically, tipping her head back against the chair. “True, but if he were a guy you were seeing, not a stranger, that would be different. Assuming he passed the rigorous background check required by?—”

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