BROKEN: SEETHER
CALISTA
After my brief rendezvous with Dom in the heart of the secluded woods, we returned to the cabin to warm up. The frigid mid-January weather in Massachusetts is no joke, especially this far north. Coming here was essential for the five of us to survive, but we all knew it’s just a matter of time before they find us, and chaos will erupt once again.
But we’ll be ready—hell, we’ll be more than fucking ready.
As I stomp the snow from my shoes on the mat just inside the back door, I shed my layers and hang them on the hooks along the wall to dry. I kick off my shoes, leaving them on the mat, and shake off the last remnants of cold from outside. I glide across the cabin floor in my damp socks, drawn by the commotion in the living room.
The flickering flames from the fireplace cast dancing shadows on the wooden walls, the warm light guiding me forward. Upon entering the living room, I spot Dominic and Ash nestled together on one of the loveseats while Five tends to thefire, ensuring the flames roar brightly to keep us warm. Killian, meanwhile, sits with his closed laptop on his lap, meticulously rolling a blunt and lavishly sprinkling angel dust over the tightly packed OG Kush.
A few tense moments stretch as they engage in a fervent discussion about our plans. Then, Five glances away from the crackling orange flames and locks eyes with mine, a playful smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Heat rushes to my cheeks, and I can feel my face flush pink. In that moment, a silent conversation sparks between us, our expressions speaking volumes more than words ever could.
I know that Five is completely outside his comfort zone, but the fact that he’s still here with us despite all the craziness and danger we’ve faced means a lot to me. It says a great deal about him. Yet, it also gives me insight into his feelings and his current state of mind. The last time we spoke, I had told him that we couldn’t pursue anything between us anymore. The rest of the guys and I had agreed not to see or hook up with anyone while we were together, doing our thing. But now that Five is a part of our little family, I can’t help but wonder if that rule still applies to him.
I grin, and Five grins back, likely interpreting it as a sign just for him. Truth be told, my mind is racing with thoughts of all the possibilities—passionate encounters—not only between him and me but involving all five of us. The cabin has granted us the perfect opportunity to explore one another more intimately, and anticipation buzzes in the air around us all.
When I’m with them—all five of them—my worries about the threats and dangers fade away, overshadowed by the intensity of the feelings we share. The instant craving to have them own my body becomes nearly overwhelming, and I relish it, wanting it more than anything.
With my gaze still tethered to Five's, I step further into the living room, finally making my presence known to the rest of the guys. Their smiles wash over me, warming my heart and reminding me that this is where I truly belong.
Deciding where to sit while each of them eyes me with the most alluring looks I’ve ever encountered feels like Sophie's fucking choice. I saunter closer to Five and collapse onto the floor before the fire, my back to the guys as the flames cast a warm glow on my face. I can feel their hungry gazes boring into me, but I don’t turn around. It’s not because I’m embarrassed or trying to tease them; it’s more about the haunting memories of what I endured while Gunnar held me captive in that basement. Though the trauma I faced pales in comparison to the years of pain before it, it still lingers uncomfortably in my mind.
Assault and rape are trauma-inducing scars that cannot be ignored. They’re undeniably wrong and leave a mark on my psyche and heart. I don’t want to dwell on it or verbalize it, and my way of coping differs from many others. I find solace in physical interactions when others shy away from intimacy. I’ve struggled to accept that there’s no right or wrong way to confront these demons. They're the same demons I live with every fucking day. The same demons that I talk to.
“Why are you so quiet, Cali?” Killian asks, and as I turn, I catch him licking the edge of the wrap before rolling it into a thick blunt that makes my mouth water.
“I’m just... thinking—trying to process everything still,” I confess, giving a casual shrug and nervously fiddling with the carpet beneath me.
“I can't imagine what you went through, and I want you to know that if you ever feel like talking, we’re all here and ready to listen,” Killian says, his dark hair falling into his face, framing his sparkling brown eyes with a golden yellow ring inside them that's illuminated by the fire’s glow.
I shake my head and force a smile, glancing around the room at the guys, eager to convey my reassurance that I don't need their pity. As silence stretches, they patiently await my response. And after I've tortured them with my silence long enough, I decide to answer and stop fucking around with them.
“I’ll be fine, really. And as for discussing it, I’m okay—I'll pass. You all know I’m not one to open up easily, but if I reach a breaking point, I promise I’ll come to you,” I assure them, hoping to dispel any worries they might have about what I endured while Gunnar and my parents' security team held me captive.
“There’s so much to figure out, but I’m exhausted. How about we hit the hay and start fresh in the morning?” Dom suggests, his eyelids drooping from fatigue and an abundance of medication.
“Sure, but we need to decide who’s sleeping where." Five chimes in, a smirk on his face that hints at mischief. “There are only two rooms, and then we have the living room, but there are futons in each room for us to share.”
I notice the look Killian gives Dom, a subtle exchange stirring unease in my gut. As he lights the blunt and takes a hit, choking on the smoke, he laughs, “I’ll bunk with Dom since it’s my turn to look after his ass." He grins, passing the blunt to Ash.
“So I guess it’s me, Five, and Ash sharing a room?” I point out, a torrent of naughty thoughts beginning to dissipate the darkness threatening to consume me.
“If you’re okay with that, then sounds good to me,” Ash interjects, a sly grin spreading across his lips, his gray eyes shimmering with playful mischief.
I glance at Five and see he shares the same expression, igniting a heated stir within me as I imagine all their hands and mouths on me... at once—again.
After the blunt is passed around until only a roach remains, Killian helps Dom up and guides him to their shared room. I rise from the floor and stretch, a yawn escaping me. As Five tends to the fire, leaving just enough warmth to last through the night, Ash and I make our way to the other bedroom, our minds racing with unspoken possibilities as we strip down to nothing but our underwear before slipping underneath the fuzzy, warm blankets spread out across the King bed.
"I've fucking missed you, Cali. I had no idea if we'd ever see you again." Ash speaks softly, almost to the point where I can't hear him.
But I do, and my heart begins to shatter at his confession that's left him slightly broken. I snuggle closer to him, resting my head on his chest as he curls an arm around my shoulders, lazily dragging his fingers up and down my arm.
"I'm sorry you felt that way. I'm sorry I put you in the position to ever feel that way, but I'm a big girl, Ash; you know I can take care of myself," I whisper against his chest as my lips ghost over his tattoos, my fingers trailing slowly down his abdomen.
We look up at each other at the same time, the looks in both of our gazes softening as a silent understanding passes between us. My eyes quickly dart to his lips as he licks them involuntarily, slowly taking their time to travel back up to his gaze still locked on me as if he's trying to burn my image into his brain.
"I know you can take care of yourself. You're the strongest, most fucking badass chick I've ever known, and you know what?" He asks, a seductive grin dancing along his slightly parted lips that makes his dimples pop.