Page 7 of Free

And knowing that somehow, I increase your sense of purpose? Wow.

I’m… honored.

That word doesn’t quite get across how I feel.

I looked up synonyms and none of them work either.

Pleased, flattered, grateful, thrilled, esteemed…

Maybe language isn’t the right medium to express emotion. If I could touch you, or be near you, or look into your eyes, maybe you could SEE how I feel instead.

Angela teases me every chance she gets about you and me just being friends. So does Ivy. (She’s awesome, by the way! I’m so glad things worked out between her and Micah!) Nathan’s new girlfriend Mina seems to agree. Can’t wait for you to meet her… But I’m losing focus here. The thing is, when they start teasing, I never know what to say.

Nothing has happened between you and me, but everything has happened too.

Like you, I live a pretty good life. My family is awesome. I love my job. Teaching yoga isn’t as badass as being a Marine, but I do feel like I’m helping people, in a way. It’s not the most glamorous job and Dad’s always on me about financial security, but I’ll find that later. When the time is right.

And for as wonderful as all that is, you make it even better.

I can’t imagine what my life would look like without you in it. I don’t want to.

Is that insane? Am I crazy?

If it is, then fine. Because you make me happy, Nick Hutton. Like, deeply, ridiculously, ‘singing-while-washing-dishes’ happy. I’m not sure I’ve felt this way before, and it’s terrifying and wonderful all at once. I don’t want it to stop.

So there you have it. You’re officially the best part of my day, and now you’re stuck with that title. No pressure, but keep those letters coming, Marine. Because if your next one is half as good as the first, I’ll be the one sending you cheesy lines. (That’s a throwback to what you said at the end of your letter… calling yourself cheesy… just in case you don’t remember.)

xo,

Charlie

FOUR

Charlie

2 years ago

Nick cups my cheek. His eyes—so clear, so blue, sparkling with… my God… witheverything—land on mine.

“Thanks for coming down to see me off,” he says. “You didn’t have to.”

“But I did though.”

We stand at the edge of the pier, him in his dress blues, and me in jean shorts and sneakers, silhouetted against the setting sun as it explodes over the water. He ships out today, a six-month deployment. I flew down to spend some time with him before he leaves. I had to. I couldn’t go that long without seeing him again.

The look in his eyes says he understands.

The pier stretches long and steady beneath our feet, the wood warmed by the remnants of the day’s sun. The ocean is alive, waves crashing in the distance, the tang of salt in the air, the cries of gulls echoing above. The sun dips low on the horizon,painting the sky in streaks of fire, gold, orange, crimson. It feels too beautiful, too perfect, like the universe itself is leaning in to listen.

“It’s so good to touch you.” Nick’s voice rumbles through the gentle crash of ocean waves. It’s warm and silky and feels like home. “I mean, thank God for technology keeping us connected, but nothing compares to having you right here with me.”

The wind catches my hair and he brushes an errant curl off my face. I lean into his touch and a shiver of delight hits my system. Fireworks dancing between starlight. Bubbles sparkling through champagne. His touch feels like a promise, warm and grounding, and I don’t want him to let go. The truth of how I feel for him is rushing up in my chest, pushing against the walls I’ve built around it. I can’t hold it in anymore. It’s burning to escape.

But what if I ruin everything? What if it’s too much, too soon?

Still, the thought of him leaving without knowing feels unbearable.

So I do the only thing I can…

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