Page 78 of Free

Just the other day, he promised he’d never leave me again, and I felt terrible when I realized I’m the one who’s temporary.

Now this.

He gets a call from his old CO right after I learn there’s a yoga studio for sale in Wildrose Landing.

Is it a nudge?

One of Mom’s hints from the Universe?

Are Nick and I being guided away from each other?

“What kind of situation?” My voice comes out steadier than I feel.

Nick sighs, the sound heavy. “It’s sensitive, so I can’t say much. But they’d need me on-site for a few weeks. It’s not combat. I wouldn’t be in the field. Just strategy and logistics.”

“Where would you go?” I ask, trying to keep my tone neutral.

“Overseas. It wouldn’t be for long, though.” He pauses, and for the first time, there’s a flicker of uncertainty in his voice.

I nod slowly, though my mind is racing. “Are you thinking about going?”

Nick’s brows draw together. “It’s complicated, Charlie. It’s not just about me anymore. I’ve got you to consider. I’m still trying to process it all.”

His sincerity cuts through me like a knife. It should feel good to hear him say I carry weight in his decision. Instead, it feels like a weight pressing down on my chest. I know what it’s like to lose a part of yourself and try to fill the void with something else.

I lost Nick and filled the void with Davis.

I don’t want Nick to turn down this job, lose his purpose, and fill the void with me.

“How could you not think about it, right?” My smile crackles along the edges and I take a breath as my thoughts charge on ahead.

Nick kept our relationship at arm’s length for four years because of his job. Is that where we’re headed again? What if oneconsulting job leads to several, which leads to him being away all the time like he’s active duty again, which leads to him not wanting a relationship anymore just like he did when we first met?

The fear is irrational, I know.

Or, at least I think I know.

For that matter, how selfish am I? A wonderful opportunity lands in Nick’s lap and I’m worrying about me instead of being happy for him. Come on, Charlotte Ann. You’re better than this.

“This might be a good thing,” I say with as big a smile as I can muster. “I mean, you wouldn’t be in danger, right? And you could go back to doing what you love. Maybe it’s a good idea for you to think about it. Like seriously consider it.”

I try the idea on. Nick, traveling overseas for a week, a month, who knows. We’ve been there before. Text. Phone calls. Video chat. And me? Where would I be? At Angela and Garrett’s? Back in Wildrose Landing? Living in an apartment here in the Keys that I have no idea how I’d afford? Everything feels so uncertain…

“What does that even mean, Charlie?” Nick shakes his head, frustration flickering across his face. “Do you want me to go? It almost feels like you’re trying to get rid of me.”

“No,” I say quickly. “Absolutely not. Honestly? Something about this job scares me to death. I never want to be without you again, but I also don’t want to get in the way of something that matters to you.”

I could move here, I think but am too afraid to say. I could be waiting for you when you get home…

Assuming you want me…

“You matter to me, Wildrose”

“And you matter to me, Marine. A lot.”

An awkward silence descends. I damn near hold my breath, waiting for him to give me any indication to help meunderstand where his head’s at. But the silence stretches on, and inexplicably, I find myself opening speaking my fears instead of thinking through them rationally.

“You know, Mom’s always going on about how the universe does its best to make things happen the way they’re supposed to. The timing of this feels so… I don’t know…”

---