Page 46 of Free

Angela shifts Elise again, her expression thoughtful. “You know, there was a time—before I met your brother—when I thought the same thing. I thought I’d ruined everything, not just for me but for my dad, my uncle, my grandmother. I thought all those mistakes were going to bury me. Us. The wholedamn family.” She chuckles softly, her tone lightening. “Turns out, those mistakes were rocket fuel. They shoved me onto the right path. And now? My family is thriving. Garrett and I are taking over the business. I love my husband, my child, my cats. Everything’s better than I ever dreamed, but it all started with what felt like a disaster.”

Her words echo Mom’s favorite mantra—that our biggest challenges become our greatest blessings—and it makes me ache. I think of Nick. The way he looked at me yesterday, like I was someone who could heal him. And the way I wanted to be that person, even if I’m not sure I can be.

“I wouldn’t mind a little of that magic right about now,” I murmur.

“It’s not magic, Charlie,” Angela says, her voice steady. “It’s just life. It’s up, it’s down, it’s up again. If you stay grounded, you’ll find your way back up. You’ve already started.”

Her words settle over me like a balm, though they don’t erase the questions still swirling in my mind.

I grab my mug and step onto the porch. The sun is just beginning to rise, its golden light spilling over the water, and for a moment, I let myself feel the quiet of it.

Maybe Angela’s right. Maybe life isn’t about magic. Maybe it’s about finding your way, no matter how lost you feel.

But I wouldn’t mind if it felt like magic for just a little while.

TWENTY-FOUR

Nick

Dear Charlie,

I don’t know why I’m writing this. Maybe because saying things out loud feels impossible. Maybe because putting the words down means I don’t have to face what happens after you hear them. Or maybe it’s just because the space between us is quieter than I know how to handle.

I kissed you. God help me, I kissed you, and it was the most alive I’ve felt in years. For one perfect moment, nothing hurt. Not my leg, not my heart, not the constant voice in my head telling me I don’t deserve you. For thatone moment, I let myself believe it was okay to want this. To want you.

But it’s not okay. And I think we both know that.

You’re barely out of something that shattered you. I saw it in your eyes yesterday, the weight you’re carrying, even when you smiled at me. You think you’re good at hiding it, but I see it, Charlie. And you don’t need me to add to that weight. I’m not what you need right now. Hell, I don’t even know if I’m what I need right now. All I know is that I wanted to kiss you, so I did. And now I can’t stop thinking about what it would mean to kiss you again.

But that’s why I’m writing this, I think. Because I know the truth, even if I don’t want to admit it. The truth is, you deserve more than what’s left of me. You deserve the kind of man who doesn’t spend his nights wishing he’d died instead of his friends. The kind of man who doesn’t wake up every morning trying to outrun ghosts that never seem to get tired. You deserve someone whole, Charlie. Someone who can give you a life without all the shadows I carry.

And I know you’ll argue. I know you’ll say it’s not my call to make, that you get to decide what you need. But here’s the thing…

I’ve already let you down. More than once.

I let you down when you came to the hospital, and I couldn’t let you in.

I let you down when I shut you out and allowed you to believe it was your fault.

I don’t think I could survive letting you down again.

So I’ll say now what I should have said then. You are the best thing to ever happen to me, Charlie Cooper. You are light, and fire, and everything good in this world. And that’s exactly why I need to keep my distance. Because I won’t be the one who dims that light. I can’t be.

I hope you find what you’re looking for. I hope you find the kind of love you deserve—the kind that’s safe, but not boring. Quiet, but not small. I hope you find someone who gives you everything you need and then some.

And I hope you forgive me for knowing I’m not that man.

Always,

Nick

I pull to a stop in front of Micah’s house, cutting the engine as nerves twist in my gut. Before I can even step out of the truck, the front door flies open, and Nell bolts down the steps, herblonde hair streaming behind her, her exuberant smile lighting up her whole face.

She practically launches herself at me, her small arms wrapping around my waist like a vine. “Uncle Nick! I’m so excited! Thank you so, so much for saying yes!”

I chuckle, ruffling her hair as I hug her back. There’s something about Nell that makes her impossible to resist. Even when I was second-guessing this whole idea, I couldn’t say no. “I’m happy to help,” I say. “But you might’ve had better luck interviewing your dad. He’s the real hero, running into burning buildings every day. I haven’t been a Marine for a while.”

The words twist in my gut.Once a Marine, always a Marine,they say, and I felt the truth of it in my bones from day one. But I don’t see a Marine when I look at myself these days. I see someone who’s drifting. A shell of what I used to be.