Page 27 of Free

I can’t remember the last time he called me.

My breath catches.

I feel his arms around me in his truck. Watch him walking away that day at the pier. Remember all the unanswered messages I left him after his accident. Smell chicken sandwiches and fries and ocean water and hear the gentle concern in his voice as he mimes pulling a pin on a grenade.

The phone rings again and I answer.

“Hey,” I say with an admirable hint of nonchalance. “Is everything okay?”

There’s a long, deafening pause, and for a moment, I think maybe the call dropped.

“I guess that’s what I should be asking you,” Nick finally says, his voice low and uncertain. “Honestly… I don’t even know why I called. The longer I think about it, the less confident I am that it was a good idea.”

His words hit like a blow, and I sit down hard on the edge of the bed. “Why did you, then?”

“I don’t know,” he admits. “We’re at Grandma’s weekly bonfire, and I heard Garrett and Angela talking about Davis accusing you of stealing something, that maybe you’ll be staying with them for a while, and next thing I knew… here I am.”

“Ah, the infamous Hutton grapevine,” I say, my laugh thin and brittle.

Nick sighs, the sound heavy with regret. “I don’t even know what to say to you, Charlie. I just… I wanted to check in. Make sure you’re okay.”

The silence between us is thick, heavy with all the things we’re not saying.

“I’m fine,” I say, the words automatic.

“Are you?”

“No.”

The admission slips out before I can stop it, and the raw honesty of it hangs between us.

Nick’s voice softens. “You don’t have to be.”

I said the same damn thing to him at the hospital.You don’t have to be fine, Nick. It’s okay to let your guard down, to lean on me…

Another pause, this one heavier than the last, while I choke on emotion. There’s laughter in the background, voices calling for Nick to rejoin the bonfire.

“I should probably get going,” he says, his voice reluctant.

“Don’t keep them waiting on my account. And, Nick?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for calling.”

I shake my head and meet my eyes through the mirror hanging on the back of my closet door. How many versions of me have stood here, searching her reflection? A little girl, making goofy faces. An adolescent tugging at unruly curls and a t-shirtthat didn’t fit quite right. A teenager, trying on dresses before her first date with the guy down the street. And now a woman, sitting cross-legged on her bed, eyes gleaming, smile bright.

What reason do I have to look so happy?

FOURTEEN

Nick

“Let’s go, Nell!” My cousin Micah leaps to his feet, fists pumping the air as his daughter races down the soccer field to catch a wobbly pass from a teammate. The bleachers rumble with excitement as our family erupts into cheers.

“Go, Stingrays!” Charlie’s voice rises above the rest, her enthusiasm bright and unapologetic. She’s been living with her brother Garrett for the past few weeks, and her energy has seamlessly folded into the chaos of the Hutton clan.

I thought having her here would change everything. That I’d see her more, and that it would either hurt more or help more. Somehow, it’s both. She’s here, and every part of me is constantly aware of her. It’s like a low-level hum, a frequency only I can hear. And yet, we’ve barely spoken.

---