Page 51 of Defending What is Mine

Sam rushes to the side of the bed. “Oh my God Jack, you’re not dragging me down. You can’t think that. If anything, I feel like you’re pushing me away. But that’s not what I want. Not at all. Please don’t push me out.” As best she can, she leans across the bed and carefully wraps her arms around my neck. “Please. I love you and I’m just trying to be here for you.”

Incredibly aware that she’s only inches away from my leg, I pull out of her embrace, ruining what had been a beautiful moment. “Same goes for you, Sam. You don’t know what I’m going through any more than him.” I nod my head at Chet. “So don’t go telling me that I’m pushing you away. You don’t know what I’m doing. Or why.” I can’t look her in the eyes and hurt her. But I need her to go. I need space. “Just go home. Forget you ever knew me.”

Sam puts her hand on my shoulder as she begins to sob. “Jack, please. Don’t be like this.”

Sweat beads at my temple. I inhale a deep breath, holding it for a second, before exhaling sharply and yanking my shoulder free. “Please…” My voice falls to just above a whisper. “Just go.”

Chet clears his throat. “He’s right.” From the edge of the room, he pushes himself off the wall and steps toward her. “I think you should probably wait in the hall for a minute.” His eyes narrow when he looks my direction. “Jack and I need to straighten a couple things out.”

I roll my eyes and shake my head in disbelief. “Are you freaking serious? What are we going to ‘straighten out?’”

Chet glances at Sam, then at his feet, then back to me. “Probably something that’s better if it stays just between you and me, little brother.”

“You know what, don’t do me any favors.” I nod my head at Sam, but don’t break eye contact with my brother. “If she wants to stay, she’s earned that much. So go on, hit me with your best shot. I mean it, really let me have it, so you can go home, look Mom in the eye, and honestly tell her you did everything you could.”

“Alright. Let’s start with a simple truth.” The muscle in Chet’s jaw flexes as he clenches his teeth. “You’re acting like a damn fool, and we both know you’re too smart for that. You’re better than that. What happened to you was awful, Jack. That’s the truth. It was awful. And horrible. And I know I can never understand. But another truth is that there’s nothing you can do to change any of it now. Whatever the future holds, don’t you want to meet it on your own terms? Don’t you want to be ready to fight for what you want? How can you do that if you don’t take the time you need? Now is the time to let yourself heal. Inside and out.”

I snort in surprise when I hear Chet Wilde mention my insides, and not be referring to my actual guts. “Really? Are you going to offer to be my therapist too?”

Chet steps up to the bed, and I see for the first time, he’s not clenching his teeth out of anger. It’s out of worry.

This time it’s Chet’s hand on my shoulder. “You have to let go of the bitterness and anger, Jack. You’ll never get better if you don’t. I promise you, it’ll only hold you down.” Chet pauses and clears his throat and with his next word, the tough-exteriored, no-time-for-emotions brother I’ve looked up to my whole life is back. “You’ve got to decide whether or not you want a future where you can stand proud again, on your own. And if you do, then let yourself lean on the people who love you.”

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