Page 63 of Come Home to Me

Sarah

So Frank didn’t cheat on me.

The knowledge is validating. An Aha! I told you so! moment of epic proportions.

I knew it. Even when his words hurt the softest part of my soul, I knew he didn’t sleep with Bree. He was trying to pull some fucked up version of loving something enough to set it free.

Well, that’s the thing about me.

I’ve always been free.

I’ve never let anyone make me feel like I had to do something I didn’t want to do.

I fly through the streets of Denver, dialing and redialing Frank’s number. I leave messages the first couple times he doesn’t answer, and then I realize his phone must be off and give up. He can not answer all he wants. I’ll drive right over to his apartment. Stride up the walk. I’ll pound on his door until he lets me in. I’m not leaving until he talks to me.

Except I knock until my fists hurt.

Place my hands against the door and call his name.

Lean against the damn thing and beg and plead until desperation swallows my words.

But the jerk never answers.

Either he’s not here or he doesn’t want me here. Regardless, I still have more questions than answers. Or rather, I have answers I don’t want to acknowledge.

Frank let days pass without reaching out. He won’t answer his calls. And now, he’s not even answering his door.

Maybe I was wrong this whole time. Sure, he didn’t sleep with Bree, but that doesn’t mean he wants to stay with me. Maybe he didn’t lie because he was trying to set me free. Maybe he lied because he was trying to set himself free.

A weight settles on my shoulders.

Maybe I had this whole thing wrong from the start. Maybe I was nothing more than a distraction for him. A short-term solution to loneliness who wasn’t ever going to stay in Denver more than a few weeks.

I lean my back against his door and slide down, tucking my knees against my chest. Now would be an appropriate time to cry. Leaning against the door of the first person I’ve let myself love, realizing he never saw me the way I saw him.

But the tears won’t come.

I poke and prod and search for the sadness that should be squeezing my poor heart senseless. The more I push, the less sad I feel.

Turns out, even when all the evidence is stacked against me, I’m too stubborn to believe what I’m seeing. Frank was falling in love with me, the same way I was falling in love with him. Maybe I was wrong about a lot of things, but I’m not wrong about that.

I’ll stay right here until he gets home. And when he gets home, I won’t leave until we’ve had an actual discussion about what’s been happening in the last couple days. I settle in to wait, pleased with myself, smiling and nodding as Frank’s neighbor clomps up the walk, grocery bags rattling in his hands.

The man stops when he sees me. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on, but I heard Frank threaten to call the cops on you last week. The whole damn complex heard him.” The man drops his bags and grabs his phone out of his back pocket. “It’s probably best if you leave.”

I smile and try to tell the man that he has the wrong woman, but he’s not listening.

“Listen. If you don’t leave, I’ll call the cops myself. Frank’s a decent guy.”

I stand, holding out my hands. “Really. You have the wrong person. It’s not me he’s trying to avoid.”

“Sure, lady. Like I’m gonna buy that.” The man unlocks his phone and let’s his thumb hover over the screen. “If I were you, I’d get going sooner rather than later.”

I try to explain one more time, but the man still isn’t listening. While he jams his thumb on the screen, I take the hint and get a move on, scurrying to where my car is parked on the street, thanks to some work being done on the parking garage.

Unsure of where I’m going, I hop behind the wheel and navigate the streets of Denver once again. After aimlessly taking turns on whims rather than decisions, I end up in front of Derby’s, staring at the intersection where Frank came to my rescue. I try calling him one last time, and when he doesn’t answer, decide to park and stretch my legs, taking in the sights and sounds of the place we first met.

I wander through the crosswalk where I ran the red light. Where the Mercedes planted itself in my passenger side and Frank rushed to my rescue. Oddly enough, I find myself smiling.

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